hi

woahh

so, yall missed out on a lot. i got over that boy i mean what was there really to obsess over , yea he took shit from me but wtv lets talk about my ex. I had my first bf and wowww i fell into deep love with him and he loved me too like so much it was finally someone who was treated me right. but after being hurt too much i ended up hurting him. like fuck i fucking hurt him so bad like FUCKKKK i cheated by getting another guys snap like fuck man why did i do thattt fuck this hurts so bad like so so bad nobody ever treated me like him and i fucked it up like really bad so so bad fuck it fucking hurts so much and i have to let him go i dont want to but i have to bc im only hurting him so much and fuck it hurts it hurts so bad like i cant fucking do it i wanna kms he was everything i couldve ever had like fuck i fucked up so bad like WHYYY why would i do that like why bro he was everything i loved yall don't understand how good he treated me he treated me like i was royal he treated me like a goddess i felt everything when i was with him and i only want to be with him like i don't understand why i fell so hard its just because i realized like wow this is what i needed like im fucking stupid why not go for him when hes perfect for me hes not like the others at all. FIRST FUCKING GUY WHO DIDNT USE ME FIRST GUY WHO LOVED ME FIRST GUY WHO MADE ME FEEL LIKE ENOUGH FIRST GUY WHO GENUINELY CARED HE WAS EVERYTHINGGG he was really everything. and now we're nothing
fuck it hurts so bad but now i have to heal. I got with Dennis to heal but not in a rebound way i didnt want him as an option or a distraction, i wanted him as the only one. And now i have to heal from him and the cycle repeats i have to heal with Anthony which is kinda like using him but i rather have him than be alone i know its fucked up but eventually i'll love him, it took me TIME to realize i genuinely loved Dennis, but i cant hurt him anymore. I have to focus on the present now ig cuz i dont want to hurt Anthony either so ig thats that. 😐 but i even bought us matching bracelets like i wanted everything with dennis, everything. I have to let go i can't obsess and go crazy it only hurts him but fuck i really dont want to leave him but i have to be wants and needs are different fuck it really sucks but wtv Dennis will always have a place in my heart that no else will ever.

9/19/23
KG