hi

:p

Well a little recap. Me and that boy broke up. And boyyyyy was I depressed, i lost weight, grades in every class went down, attendance was terrible, i couldnt get out of bed, i cried everyday, i had mental breakdowns every other day, had a big ass mental break down in school. That's how April and May went. He met a new girl, betrayed me, broke my heart even more, never cared, realized other girls are not for him and he belongs with me because we know each other so well and things just fit better with us. So once I finally healed and was moving on he inserts himself back into my life. I said i would never be with him again after he fucked that girl in our bed but man who am i kidding i knew our love was too strong and or maybe my heart is just to big but i'm letting him back in. Now i feel a fool but i also feel really happy, i mean sometimes i do feel like im just being played in the face, like truly deep down this doesnt mean anything to him but then hes so sweet and we are so perfect and normal again but then im just scared hes lying, or manipulating me, or love bombing me, i dont know. And sometimes i feel like i cant even communicate with him because im scared to bother him or start something. I just never want to repeat the cycle or be the problem again but i cant get the image of him being such an asshole out my head and just thinking about it makes me cry because how dare he?? But at the same time I UNDERSTAND him, he was lost in a place IIII put him in, im such an asshole too but ive done way too much to redeem myself already, i get him i do but it doesnt change the ache i felt in my heart all those nights. I will continue to put him first until we balance this out. He put himself through hell to get the relationship where he wanted, i will do the same now too. My love is real true and strong. We still do love each other, of course we do, we said we'd always. But im going to get that true bond back. He's mine and i'm his. EW that sounded so corny like alpha wolf type shi

Few hours later yall and after i finished writing that he called me and we hung out it was so notebook coded like PUUFF yall we ran in the rain tg n shi omggg n we had serious talks like omg i love him chat things are looking better i probably sound delusional but i swear its real this time
June 7th 2024