hi

jajaaja

yeaa.. i dont want to live without this one. like at all, Dennis is the only guy in my heart i really am not marrying, having kids, or non of that with a guy who isnt dennissss cuz no. i might talk to this one guy but just to talk not to date bc i cant date anyone who isnt dennis my heart is really hurting, yes i relapsed bc of him, i hate the thought of him talking to someone else the way he spoke to me i hate imagining him hating me the way i hated every guy i hurt for Dennis, it sucks thinking about the fact that hes the same guy who called me his princess, his love, his mama, his baby and now im nothing to him like he really doesnt care.

It hurts so bad when the first guy to love me and show me true love turned out to end up only using me, and i understand it i hurt him really bad and i was very sorry but now i dont care, it hurts so bad when i realize hes using me but i know no matter what i dont want to leave him, i dont care if he tells me he hates me, or if he doesnt love me, if he found someone new, if hes in love, i dont care i will love him till our very last breaths i cant live without him and he leaves my life im really going to just end my shit bc theres no worth in life without dennis, he's really my true love, he was the first guy who loved me bro wtf and the first guy i told i love you to, the first one i meant it to, he made me feel like how i deserved to feel, he made me feel like the prettiest girl in the world, he made me feel like my life was worth living, he completed my happiness, there was nothing more i couldve asked from Dennis he showed me true pure love and i really messed up, thats all i do, i finally had pure happiness and then it just all went away because i messed up, for no actual reason like what is wrong with me, Dennis cured me he fixed me and then i just go ahead and self sabotage after he did everything for me but he doesnt understand how much i love him, we've had like 3 breaks and this one is the hardest bc im rlly scared i have no more chances but i really want to try with him i really do, thats the only thing i want in life, i only want dennis i dont want any other man in my future , i want dennis , i really love babies and ive wanted kids since last year but i swear im not having those kids if the father is not dennis. i really love dennis and i know ive gone crazy over many men before but dennis is different, so so so so much more different. 

Dennis told me he loved me, he cared about me, he always complimented me, he promised me everything, he was just so sweet and now hes so bitter i miss him so so much i dont understand what more i have to do for him to love me again because i know i can change and i will, i already did a lot more for him, im a different person i only want him. Dennis will save me but if he leaves me im gonna stay the same shitty person, im just so in love with him. Im so delusional over him, i never got this crazy over a man before. 

I keep dreaming about him apologizing and sending me a big paragraph and taking me back,  jus like the long paragraphs ive sent him, but he doesnt care anymore ts shit hurts so fucking bad, ive never weepd so fucking crazy before, my life is over if he leaves me bro im not fucking kidding. 

ive been crying all october over this nikka bro i need him back. 

10/30/23

-kg