hi

goodbye

this is it i dont want to be here anymore
im going to attempt idk why ive been feeling like this nothing happened i cant explain what i feel to no one. i will never get the help i need bc i wont accept it i just cant . i hope i bleed to death and if thats not successful ill take any pill i see i dont care. im tired im so tired . i dont understand what about me makes men run from me ik i say my life doesn't revolve around men but it does honestly im just so alone and i want affection from someone who cares enough to be there. Jeronimo wasnt a success when i thought he was , was it a joke or what? daniel is in fucking love with julie and hes not a good guy at all but i cant stop my feelings but god what jeronimo did to me really messed me up he acted all shy and stuff, told his sister, cousins, and friends about me but then at the end left me on my birthday week for a bitch i told him i didnt like. and that whore rosemary had already put me through sm she will never understand how much she hurt me. i was always there for her but she gave up on me so quickly for a couple mistakes but i took her back after every single fucking mistake she made . she was so selfish ill never forgive her. the 2 ppl who hurt me most got together and rubbed it all in my face , posting each other. luckily they ended but thats not what matters. what matters is he used me as a distraction and i tried convincing myself i was using him as a distraction as well but i really wasnt. i didnt want to admit i was actually falling for him bc ik he didnt like me as much as he loved that other girl im so tired . im soooo tired i just cant
my friends r ass
i mean their good friends but u cant do anything around them show weakness and ur doing it for attention , ur just supposed to bottle everything up in this school ig or else you'll become the attention seeking slut. ive seen it happen and i rather not be apart of that.
but .
"Dont stay alive for the happiness of others, stay alive for your own well being, only if you feel like staying alive."
well i might as well listen to that , ik many ppl will miss me but theres no curing to whats wrong with me. i rather not struggle with this for the rest of my life.
1/8/23
kg.