hi

68

Its been 3 months since we broke up, not once in these months have we been able to leave each other alone and it hurts so bad the longest no contact we've had is just 2 weeks, aat this point its not even bc of love just lust , on may 29th when he asked to talk again to see if we could get back together that was the last time he had love for me now all he wants is friends with benefits and i cant fucking do this i cant , today he admitted that he wants his first love back and i cant bare that thought i cant i cant i cant even drop him like my soul is attached to his , this is the closest ive felt to js ending it, i cant bare this anymore, im so skinny and im too weak to put in effort i cant even keep up at the gym , im too weak for life, my life is a cycle honestly it all turns to shit and i get that life cant be perfect but im TOO FUCKING WEAK to accept that or live in a life like that, i js want to be dead, i dont want to continue looking at myself, not even my face is good apparently im fucking ugly to my ex now
I need help
I just want to run to his arms for comfort but am i even going to find it there i cant get these thoughts out of my head i js need something, its summer so all my body is going to be exposed my arms my wrists my thighs my boobs i js want to see the line turn red, i just want to die js b gone i dont want to go to my schol i miss my old one i cant do this bullshit anymore i just want sergio.

August 4th 11;53