i'm okay // part 2

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continued from last chapter, same warnings apply.
this is a bit overdue.. enjoy!

Oh shit.

As I try my best to lay low and avoid the attention of everyone in the room, that's exactly what I'm given. "Y/N?" Darry scoffs, "you boys don't know what you're talkin' bout, little Y/N here wouldn't have anything to do with you" he snaps.

What I'd give to be "little Y/N" again.

I bite my lip and my knee bounces furiously, causing the table to lightly shake. Dallas nudges my leg from under the table, "what're they talkin about?"

I'm answered for by the leader of the pack, Bob, who was standing up to Darry. "well, little Y/N here owes us a favor." I shake my head, "I don't owe you nothin," Two-bit, Steve, and Soda were now by Darry's side, while Dallas and Ponyboy had decided to stay by me. "oh, really? last I checked we had important things to take care of.." he tries to look around the wall of greasers to talk to me, "cmon, we won't be long," he smirks, "we just wanna chat." Sighing, I sit up and make my way out of the booth.

"Y/N, you don't have to-" I cut my youngest brother off, "it's fine, I'll only be a sec". The diner is silent until I leave through the front doors and walk outside of the building. Randy and another Soc who I've never seen before each have a hand on my shoulder, while Bob stands directly in front of me. I cross my arms, something I learned from Darry, "what could you possibly want more from me?"

I was almost immediately pushed against the side of the diner as my arms were pinned above my head and Bob brought his face close to mine. I went to yell for Darry but a hand was soon slapped to my mouth. "keep quiet, slut" he spat. "you didn't tell anyone, did you?" Fear ran through my veins as I quickly shook my head no; guilt soon following for having not said anything.

"better not be lying or you'll regret it" he smirked, "we don't want a repeat of the other night, do we?" "Fuck you." I yell into the palm of his hand. His grip on me tightens and I see Randy shift in his place out of the corner of my eye. "do we?" he threatens. Once again, I shake my head in denial.

"then it's settled, you keep quiet and we won't have this issue again." He runs a hand up and down my side, then to the waistband of my jeans, and finally to my ass. I squeeze my eyes shut, desperate for Randy or the other Soc who I didn't recognize to step up and save me. "see you 'round, slut" he chuckles, releasing me from his grasp and joining his buddies in his Mustang.

I was shocked that none of the gang had come running out here, given I'd been gone for quite a while. I didn't know what to feel besides confused and somewhat guilty. This whole thing happened because of me and I didn't bother to tell anyone about it when it happened because I was scared, terrified, even. I still am.

I recollect myself and my thoughts before heading back inside to greet the gang. "Y/N, what's going on?" I hadn't even sat down yet and Darry was already onto me. "I- well, I-" stuttering, I struggled to find the words. How do you subtly tell your eldest brother that you were raped and didn't say anything because you were scared he'd be mad? The events from that night rush through my mind once more.

"O- oh God.." he groaned as he pounded into me, my back scraping against the cold, brick wall as he increased his speed.
My groans and whimpers were nothing but background noise to him; he had done this before and I was sure I wasn't his first victim.
Tears ran down my cheeks as I tried to scream for help, but this was my first time and I sure as hell wasn't ready.
A few seconds later he was close to his high as he yanked on my hair, causing my head to repetitively hit the brick behind me.
He finished and quickly zipped up his pants and left me there to suffer for what will probably be the next few months.

Tears fall from my eyes and I'm unable to clearly process what's happening.  "I'm sorry, I can't do this here." I cry as I rush out of the diner and run to the only place I felt safe anymore; home.

I heard them calling after me but I didn't stop, I was running off of pure adrenaline and couldn't physically bring myself to a halt. As soon as I made it to the house I bolted for my room and let everything out into my tear-stained sheets, not caring who heard me.

-time skip-

I woke up in a cold sweat, my mind soon being filled with unorganized thoughts and the stupid, dramatic exit I made at the diner. I managed to find my brothers and friends through all the chaos, where I was able to decide that I needed to step up and take the blame. No matter how bad I felt, I had to let them know what was going on.

I slowly pull myself out of bed and run a hand through my hair before reaching for the door knob. As I opened my door, to my surprise everyone was asleep in the living room. I didn't realize how late it was until I checked the clock.

11:47

"Y/N.." I'm startled by the sound of Darry's voice behind me. I turn around and am greeted by my exhausted brother, the bags under his eyes more prominent than usual. "I'm so sorry." I whisper, "please don't be mad." His face drops and he gives me a confused look, "whatever it is I'm sure we can work it out."

"it's not that easy, Dar.." I hear faint shuffling noises from behind me, indicating that someone else was waking up. My cheeks burn as tears run down my face, "please, please don't be mad," I struggled to find the right words. Darry places a hand on my shoulder and I decide to be honest with both him and myself. "I was raped."

The noise behind me abruptly came to a halt and it seemed as if time had stopped. I bring my hands to my face, embarrassed and ashamed. Darry had wrapped his arms around me and through my own concealed cries I could feel his chest heaving up and down in silent sobs as well.

"please don't make a big deal out of this, please, or else he's gonna come back." I pleaded, clinging onto Darry's shirt.

"who?"

I look behind me to see some of the gang up and eyeing me. "it doesn't matter, just please don't say anything, ya hear?" I wipe my face and try to calm myself down. Darry keeps his grip on me and Sodapop joins us, wrapping his around me. "Christ, Y/N, cmon just tell us, goddamnit!" Dallas shouts.

"Dal, gettin' frustrated and hollerin' ain't gonna do a damn thing so just sit down and keep quiet." Two-bit waves his hand toward me,
"Y/N needs us right now, alright?" Dallas sighs and rubs his temples, "i know, i know, it's just.." Before he can finish his thought I feel another pair of arms wrap around me. Then another, followed by a chuckle and a "you smell nice, Dal."

"Y/N this isn't your fault," Sodapop reassures me, "we'll figure this out together, you're not alone." The others simultaneously agree and we all remain in one big huddle. My smile grows when I realize Ponyboy and Johnny were out cold in the middle of the floor. "thanks guys," And for a second I saw a glimpse of hope for the future.

Maybe everything was gonna be alright.

———————
alright so this is realllly overdue but whatever uh sorry if this is ASS but it's been a while since I've updated this book so hey hi hello there hope you liked this
stay gold! <3

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