But We Could Get By

Chapter 10

Nellie wasn't sure what time it was when she finally woke up, but based on what it looked like outside, she could safely assume it was around noon. She usually woke up much earlier than that, she usually had to because of her shop, but she was just so exhausted. She was still a little tired, but she quickly got up and left her room. "Good morning." She heard Johanna say. "Well, it's actually noon now, but close enough." She added. "Why did nobody wake me up?" Nellie asked. "You needed sleep." Johanna replied. "Yeah, Johanna said you looked exhausted." Toby said. Nellie couldn't help but smile. It was nice to know that they cared.
   "You're finally up." She heard a monotone sounding voice say. She looked over, and saw Sweeney walking down the stairs. "Good morning, Mr. Todd." She said. "Well, not morning, but you know what I mean." He didn't respond, which wasn't surprising. Nellie was used to him not responding. "Seems like quite a nice day outside." She said. "Shall we go for a walk?" "Sure." Johanna replied. Toby nodded in agreement. Johanna looked over at Sweeney. "Would you like to join us?" She asked. "I guess." He mumbled. Nellie smiled. "Great!" She said. "I need to go get ready, I'll be right back. Don't wanna look like I just woke up." She added, laughing. "You look fine." Sweeney said. His tone sounded more annoyed than reassuring. Nellie decided to not think too much about how annoyed he sounded. "I suppose we're leaving now then?" She asked. The others simply nodded.
   Toby and Johanna headed out the door, Sweeney and Nellie following close behind. The two linked arms and walked in silence for a while, until one of them finally spoke up. "I didn't mean for it to come out like that." Sweeney said. "What I said before we left." He added, clarifying. "It's alright." Nellie replied. "You aren't annoyed with me, are you?" She asked. "No. I've just been upset at a lot lately. I never meant to take it out on you." He explained. "What I meant to say earlier was that you look nice." "You really think so?" Nellie asked. Sweeney nodded. She smiled. "Thanks." She said. "You look nice too." "Thanks, I guess." Sweeney replied.
   "Hey mum, can Johanna and I buy some toffees?" Toby asked. "Sure." Nellie said. She took a few pennies out of her bag, and handed it to him. "Here you go." Toby looked like he was staring at something, though she wasn't sure what. He soon took the change, and walked off along with Johanna.

"What were you staring at?" Johanna asked. "What?" Toby replied. "Earlier, when you asked mum about the toffees, it looked like you were staring at something." Johanna explained. "Oh." Toby replied. "Mum's purse just looked a little familiar, that's all. I'm sure it's nothing." Johanna nodded. "Hey there." She heard a voice say. She looked over, and noticed Anthony walking over. "Hello, Anthony." She said with a smile. "Would you like a toffee? We just bought some." "Yeah, I'll have one." Anthony replied. Johanna handed him one. "Thanks." He said. "You're welcome." She replied.
   She found herself staring at him. "He's so beautiful, and sweet, and funny, and fun to talk to, and a good friend..." She continued to find more and more things she loved about him. She thought about Nellie's advice. "Tell him how you feel." "Anthony, I-" She began to say. She wasn't sure why she didn't finish her sentence. "What?" Anthony asked. "I- Well, I..." She stammered. She then felt something on her head. "It's starting to rain." She said. "That's not what I was gonna say, just pointing that out." "Should we head home?" Toby asked. Johanna nodded. "I'll walk with you." Anthony said. She smiled. "Alright."
   She and Anthony linked arms, and walked back to the house, Toby walking alongside them. "What were you going to say earlier?" Anthony asked. "Oh. Well, I... I like you a lot." Johanna confessed. "And I was wondering if maybe you would want to go out sometime?" "Sure." Anthony replied. "And I like you too. A lot." "Really?" Johanna asked. Anthony nodded. "So when should our date be?" He asked. "Maybe Saturday." Johanna suggested. "That works for me." Anthony said. "Alright. Where should we go?" Johanna asked. "There's this nice restaurant down the street, maybe we could go there." Anthony said. "That sounds nice." Johanna replied. "Maybe they've got better pies." She laughed.
   "Maybe before. I heard Mrs. Lovett's business has improved a lot." Anthony said. "Lord knows how that happened. For the longest time, we were too broke to afford any decent ingredients." Johanna responded. "Then again though, I suppose dad coming back has improved our financial situation a little bit. Not a lot though, so I really wonder where this high quality meat is coming from?" "We had a lot of customers yesterday, and they all kept demanding more. I asked mum what was in the pies, 'cause the customers really seemed to love them. She said it was just regular meat. Maybe she added a little something that makes them special." Toby said. "Maybe." Johanna mumbled.
   Soon enough, the three finally arrived back at the house. Sweeney and Nellie also arrived around the same time. Johanna looked over at Anthony. "Thank you for walking me home." She said. "You're welcome." Anthony replied. "So, date on Saturday?" He asked. Johanna nodded. "Alright then. I can't wait." Anthony said with a smile. Johanna smiled back at him. "I can't either." She gave him a kiss on the cheek, and then headed inside, along with Toby. "It's really pouring out there." She heard Nellie say. She nodded. Sweeney grabbed his coat and handed it to Nellie. "Thanks, Mr. T." She said. Sweeney turned to face Johanna. "Are you cold?" He asked. "Not really." She replied.
   "Guess what?" She then said. "What?" Sweeney asked. "Anthony and I are going on a date this Saturday!" Johanna exclaimed. "Well, with your permission, of course." She added. "We planned it all out earlier. May we?" "Anthony's that sailor, right?" Sweeney asked. She nodded. "You two can go on Saturday." Sweeney said. Johanna smiled. "Thank you, dad!" She exclaimed. "Just be back before sunset. These streets can be dangerous at nighttime." Sweeney said. "We will be." Johanna replied. "I'm happy for you two." Nellie said. "So you took my advice?" She asked. "I did." Johanna replied. "Thanks again, by the way. It was good advice."
   She then headed off to her room. There was a painting she had planned to finish, but all she could think about was her upcoming date with Anthony. She was excited, but also nervous at the same time. She wasn't sure why she was so nervous. She didn't think anything would go wrong, yet there seemed to be the voice in the back of her head telling her she should feel anxious. She decided to finish her painting. Art always seemed to calm her down whenever she felt stressed. Soon enough, she seemed to forget all about her worries.

"So Johanna's going on a date with that boy I sailed home with? Really is a small world." Sweeney said. "Yeah." Nellie replied. "They've been friends for a while. He used to come over all the time. He's a nice kid." Once again, Sweeney didn't respond. "You know, they always reminded me of us." She said. "How so?" Sweeney asked. "Not exactly sure. They just did." Nellie said. "Remember when we were their age? Things seemed so much more simple then." "Any time before I got sent away feels more simple." Sweeney responded. "You know, this world used to seem so bright and colorful, but now, it just doesn't feel that way anymore. Everything just feels so dark and miserable." He added. Nellie held his hand. "I'll always be here for you, Mr. T." She reassured. "I don't know if that's what you wanna hear, but that's what I can promise you. I can't promise things will get any easier, but I promise you I'm not going anywhere." "How can you promise that?" Sweeney asked. "What if something happens, and..." He decided not to finish his sentence. "I'm not going anywhere." Nellie repeated.
   Sweeney looked like he was on the verge of tears, but if he was about to cry, he was doing a good job fighting back the tears. He didn't shed a single tear, but he seemed to have an incredibly sad look on his face. He looked like he was in pain. Nellie figured that underneath it all, he was sad and lonely. Of course he was angry as well, but she couldn't help but wonder how much of his anger was really him hiding his sadness. "I wish I could take all your pain away." She said. "If there's any way I could make things just a little less dark and miserable..." Her voice trailed off. "You're already doing that." Sweeney said. "You and Johanna both." He quickly added. Nellie smiled. "Well, I'm happy to at least be able to provide you some sort of comfort." She responded.
   "I'm so glad you're back. Johanna and I both are. We missed you so much." "I missed you too." Sweeney replied. "Both of you." "You missed me?" Nellie asked. "Of course I did. Why wouldn't I?" Sweeney responded. "You just didn't seem all that happy to see me." Nellie said. "I had just escaped prison after fifteen years and found out my wife was dead, I wasn't happy at all! That had nothing to do with you!" Sweeney stated, raising his voice a little. He sighed. "I didn't mean to raise my voice." "Don't worry, dear, it's fine." Nellie replied. "Of course I missed you." Sweeney said.
   Nellie hugged him. Maybe this could be the perfect reunion she had hoped for. It was about a week late, but she didn't mind. "Welcome home, love." She muttered. "I missed you so much." "I think I should open up the shop." Sweeney said. "Alright." Nellie replied, letting go of him. "I suppose I'll see you later." Sweeney waved awkwardly, then walked upstairs.
   She sighed. She was hoping maybe they could just take a day off and spend the rest of the day together. She didn't feel like working. All she wanted to do was sit on the sofa, curled up in his arms by the fireplace while listening to the rain pour outside. She suddenly remembered she was still wearing his jacket, and smiled. How thoughtful of him it was to let her wear it. She considered going upstairs and giving it back to him, but she decided against that. She wanted to wear it a little longer. She was still so cold, and the jacket was incredibly warm.
   She continued to think about Sweeney. It was nice that he was finally opening up a little. She was glad he trusted her enough to tell her what he was feeling. She hoped one day, he'd be able to tell her everything. Keeping everything inside must've been hard. She understood how that felt. She had also been hiding her feelings for a long time. She thought about that miserable look on his face, and the pain in his voice. "I had just escaped prison after fifteen years and found out my wife was dead, I wasn't happy at all!" His voice echoed in her head.
   Her eyes widened. "He thinks Lucy's dead." She thought to herself. She thought back to the day he first arrived. "I didn't tell him she was dead, did I?" She soon remembered the exact conversation. She told him Lucy drank poison, but she said nothing about her dying. She almost sighed with relief, but she then remembered she never told him what exactly happened to Lucy. Of course he'd assume she was dead. He hadn't been told otherwise, and people don't usually survive arsenic poisoning, so it made sense that he'd make that assumption.
   Nellie was unsure what to do. On one hand, letting him believe she was dead would hurt him less than knowing what really happened, and it would maybe help him move on. On the other hand, keeping that information hidden would also hurt him. She didn't want to lie to him. "It's not lying, is it? I said she drank a poison, I never said anything about her dying." She thought to herself. "How selfish are you, Nellie? You're really gonna let him believe his wife is dead?" She found herself having an argument inside her head. "I'm not being selfish! Would you rather him know how much she suffered?" "So you're just gonna pretend you're not secretly hoping he moves on and falls for you?"
   "Mum?" She turned around, and saw Johanna. "Johanna!" She said. "I'm so sorry, I forgot to get started on supper. I'll do that now." "Are you alright?" Johanna asked. "You were pacing." "I'm fine." Nellie replied. "Another lie." She thought. "Do you wanna talk about it?" Johanna asked. "Whatever it is." Nellie sighed. "Yes."