But We Could Get By

Chapter 14

"Is it just me, or has mum been acting strange?" Johanna asked. "She's been acting strange." Toby said. "Mr. Todd too." "Yeah." Johanna muttered. "Sometimes she seems so sad, but she'll swear that everything's alright. I don't know if she feels the need to be the happy one all the time or what, but I wish she knew that she can always talk to me, just like I always talk to her whenever I've got something like that on my mind." "Is that what you meant by acting strange?" Toby asked. "I was gonna talk about how odd she acts whenever I ask about the pies, and how she never lets me into the bakehouse." "There's that too." Johanna replied. "And it feels like dad is keeping secrets from me. I don't know if it's just because he's hard to read or what, but..." She paused for a moment. "I don't know." She then said.
   "I don't know how to explain why Mr. Todd seems so strange. He just seems angry and annoyed all the time. I suppose that's not a bad thing, I just don't have the best experience with people getting angry." Toby said. Johanna remembered hearing her father angrily rant. She didn't hear exactly what he had said, but he said something about revenge. She figured that might've been why he was acting so strange. She decided not to say anything. "Now I'm the one keeping secrets." She thought to herself. She had no idea what her father's secret was. What if his definition of revenge was something truly awful? She didn't really mind all that much, since this was about Judge Turpin. She usually never wished bad things would happen to people, and she didn't like feeling that way, but Judge Turpin was horrible. She understood Sweeney's desire for revenge, and she was willing to keep his secret, whatever it was, not only because she understood where he was coming from, but also to protect him. She had already lost him once, and she didn't want to lose him again. If his revenge plan was bad enough to get him sent away again, of course she had to keep it hidden.
   "Have you noticed how angry Mr. Todd seems sometimes?" Toby asked, pulling her out of her thoughts. "He's been in prison for fifteen years. He's probably very traumatized." She said. "True." Toby replied. "I didn't think about that." "Yeah. He's been through a lot. We should be easy on him." Johanna said. "Well, I should get going. Dad and I are having a father-daughter day. We'll probably just go on a walk through town, and maybe look through a couple of shops." She then said. "Alright. See you later." Toby responded. Johanna waved goodbye, then left the room.
   She saw Sweeney standing by the front door, and smiled. "You ready?" She asked. He nodded, opening the door for her. She walked out the door, and he followed. "So, what shall we do?" She asked. "Whatever you want to do." Sweeney replied. "I suppose we could stop by the flower shop. I would love to get some flowers. I've always loved plants, both to have and to paint pictures of. I really do hope for a garden of my own someday." Johanna said. "So you're the artistic type, I see." Sweeney responded. "Your mother loved art, both creating it and looking at it. I was never that good at painting, but I enjoyed looking at pictures. I suppose you could consider me an artistic type, if you count what I do as art."
   "It was mum who inspired me to try out art. Well, my other mum, Mrs. Lovett. She said she used to paint when she was little, and that it would be a fun hobby for me. She also loves to bake, which she says is its own art form. She inspired me to learn to bake as well. Although after a while, our financial situation got pretty bad, and we couldn't afford to bake anything. Well, anything good, that is." Johanna explained. "Oh yeah." Sweeney mumbled. "I had almost forgotten about how creative Mrs. Lovett was. Or should I say is? She still is quite creative."
   "Speaking of mum, is she alright?" Johanna asked. "She seems rather sad sometimes, but she swears she's fine. I'm quite worried about her." "She once told me she feels like she has to be the happy one all the time. She doesn't want to drag anyone else into her own problems, especially not you or Toby." Sweeney said. "She told me she has nightmares sometimes, and low self esteem, but that's all I know." "I really hope she's alright." Johanna said. "I do too." Sweeney mumbled, as though he weren't intending for her to hear him. "There's the flower shop." He then said.
   Johanna walked into the shop, Sweeney following close behind. "What kind of flowers do you want?" He asked. "Maybe some crocus. I've always loved crocus." Johanna responded. "Shall we get some for mum too?" She then asked. "I think it would really cheer her up." Sweeney nodded. "She likes gillyflowers, doesn't she?" He asked. "Yes, and daisies." Johanna replied. "What's your favorite flower?" She asked. Sweeney appeared to be caught of guard. "I'm not sure. Nobody's ever asked me, so I never thought about it." He replied. He paused, thinking for a moment. "Chrysanthemums, I guess." "I like chrysanthemums too." Johanna said. "I can get some of those too." "You don't have to." Sweeney replied. Johanna decided to grab some anyway.
   They wound up buying several bouquets of flowers. Crocus, gillyflowers, daisies, and chrysanthemums. "With the amount of flowers we've got, we really could have our own garden." Johanna laughed. Her face then fell. "I didn't think to ask what mum's favorite flower is. We could've bought that as well." "Lucy liked roses." Sweeney replied. "Can you tell me more about her?" Johanna asked. "Mum, my other- Oh, you know who I'm talking about. She told me a little bit about her, but I never really asked her much. I was scared I'd hurt her feelings if I asked too much. I didn't want to make her feel like I didn't see her as a mother. She's the only mother I've ever known, and I really do care about her. I'm quite curious about mum though." She explained.
   "Your mother was one of the loveliest people I've ever known." Sweeney said. "She was kind, loving, compassionate. She saw the good in everyone. Her family was of higher social status, but she didn't care that I was lower class. She looked a lot like you do now." "I've been told by many that I look like my mother." Johanna said. "The Judge told me that too. I suppose that's why he's always been so creepy towards me."
   "One day, we'll never have to worry about him ever again." Sweeney responded. Johanna had no clue what he could've meant by that. Unless they moved away from London, or unless Judge Turpin spontaneously dropped dead, he'd always be a problem. At least that's how it seemed. She decided to not think too much about it, and accept his reassurance. "Shall we bring these flowers home?" She asked. Sweeney nodded, and the two began to walk home.

Johanna opened the door, and held it open for Sweeney. The two walked in, and set the bouquets on the counter. "You're back early." Nellie said. "Not that that's a bad thing." "We got all these flowers, and didn't want to carry them throughout town." Johanna responded. Nellie looked at the flowers. "Wow." She muttered. "That's a lot." "Johanna wanted some crocus, and she got some chrysanthemums for me. I told her she didn't have to, but she insisted." Sweeney said. "And you've got some daisies and gillies." Nellie said. "How beautiful."
   "Those are for you." Sweeney replied. "You got these for me?" Nellie asked, smiling. "Yes." Sweeney said. "Well, we both did." He quickly added. "We both noticed that you've been quite sad every now and then. Johanna said these would cheer you up." "Thank you." Nellie said. "Both of you." She added. "It's no problem." Johanna replied. "If you're ever sad though, you can always talk to me. You don't have to hide it." "I appreciate your kindness. I really am alright though. As of now, anyway. You know how inconsistent emotions can be." Nellie said. "Yeah." Johanna mumbled.
   "Dad." She then said. "What exactly do you plan on doing about Judge Turpin?" Sweeney froze for a moment. "Dad?" She asked. He remained silent, and briefly glanced at Nellie. "Dad?" She repeated. "I'm not sure." He finally answered. "Why?" He asked. "Just wondering." Johanna replied. "It just seemed rather odd to me that you'd want him to visit the shop, considering everything he's done to you. I figured that maybe you had some sort of plan." She decided to leave out how she overheard him talk about revenge. "If I showed any sign of bitterness towards him, it might just give away who I am, which would get me sent away again. I suppose I'm trying to get on his good side. That way, he'll never suspect that I'm the man he sent away all those years ago." Sweeney said. "That makes sense." Johanna replied.
   She knew he was lying, but she didn't press the subject any further. She figured now wasn't the time to ask him what his real plan was, as much as she wanted to know. She wished he wouldn't lie to her though. She could tell he had something he was planning, she just wasn't quite sure what. Whatever it was, it must've been something truly awful, because if it wasn't, why would he be hiding it? Why else would he keep secrets from his own daughter? "Maybe one of these days, I'll find out what's going on."