But We Could Get By

Chapter 18

"So..." Johanna said, pausing before finishing her sentence. "You killed a man." "I know." Sweeney replied. "I'm sorry you had to see that. If you're angry with me, I understand." "I'm not mad at you." Johanna said. "Lord knows what Mr. Johnson would've done had you not killed him. It just caught me off guard, that's all. It's not every day you see your father kill someone." "What he did to you, and what he did to Mrs. Lovett..." Sweeney glanced at Nellie for a moment, then looked back at Johanna. "I couldn't let him get away with it." "Is this what you plan to do to Judge Turpin?" Johanna asked. Sweeney's eyes widened. He appeared to be rather tense. "About a month or so ago, I heard you shouting about revenge. I didn't hear everything, but I heard you talk about wanting vengeance." She said. "Are you planning on killing him?"
   Sweeney looked over at Nellie, then back at her. "I'm sorry, Johanna." He said. "My years in prison really have changed me. I'm not the good person people told you I was. Not anymore." "I don't think you're a bad person. I just wanted to know the truth." Johanna responded. "I hadn't intended for you to find out about this." Sweeney said. "But I couldn't let that man get away with what he did. Usually I would've found a way to get him to come upstairs, where neither of you would've seen it. I suppose I just got so caught up in my own anger, I didn't think things through."
   Johanna looked over at Nellie. "How long have you known about this?" She asked. Nellie sighed. "Ever since he first arrived." She said. "He said something about it in front of me. I don't know if he trusted me to keep his secret, or if he just forgot I was there, but either way, I've known. I'm so sorry, Johanna. I know you don't like it when I hide things from you." Johanna wasn't sure how she felt about this. Her father killed someone, and was planning to kill again, and her mother knew about it. She should've been horrified. She thought that murder was wrong. She didn't approve of it at all. Yet she understood where Sweeney was coming from. He had suffered for years, of course he was angry with the person who caused his pain. She also despised the Judge. She still disagreed with murder, of course, but she knew where he was coming from. And she still loved them both. They're her family. She didn't want to excuse their actions, but she couldn't help but still care about them.
   "Are you alright?" She heard Nellie ask. "I'm fine." She replied. "I'm gonna go now. I promised I'd meet Anthony in town." She walked towards the door, glanced at them for a moment, then headed downstairs. "I wonder if this means Toby's right about those other men?" She thought to herself. "No, that can't be! He only kills people who hurt others, like Judge Turpin and Mr. Johnson! He wouldn't kill innocent people, would he?" Johanna decided she'd rather not have an answer to that question. She truly wanted to believe that her father would only hurt those who hurt others, but at this point, she wasn't sure what to believe. "I'll think about this later. I've got a date to get to."
   She rushed to the door, and walked outside, looking around for Anthony. "Johanna." She heard a voice say. That voice was all too familiar, and not in a good way. She looked over, and saw Judge Turpin standing before her. "Judge Turpin." She mumbled. "How are you on this fine afternoon?" Turpin asked. "I'm fine." Johanna replied. "I'm awfully sorry, sir, but I'd better get going. I have somewhere to be, and I don't wanna be late." She began to walk away. "Wait!" She heard Turpin exclaim. She turned around. "What?" "I just wanted to tell you that you look absolutely beautiful today." Turpin said. "Thank you, I guess." She responded.
   "I was wondering if you'd like to accompany me to dinner this evening?" Turpin asked. "I know of many fancy places that I'm sure you'd adore." Johanna was almost visibly shaking. She wasn't sure why she was so afraid. She had stood up to Mr. Johnson before. Why was Judge Turpin different? "I'm sorry, sir, but I can't." She said. "I have to be home before sunset. My parents would get awfully worried if I stayed out late. You know, I am only a child." "Are you sure you wouldn't like to join me?" Turpin asked. "I'm sure." Johanna replied. "I mean, I can't stay out late. My poor parents would be worried sick." She quickly added.
   "What's going on?" She heard another voice ask. She looked over, and saw Anthony. "You." Turpin said, glaring at Anthony. "Are you alright, Johanna?" Anthony asked. "I'm fine." Johanna replied. "I see how it is." Turpin said. He stared at the two for a moment, then walked away. "He didn't hurt you, did he?" Anthony asked. "No, he didn't." Johanna replied. "He tried to get me to go on a date with him. I tried to be polite. Usually I speak my mind, but I can't do that with him. You never know what he might do. For all I know, he could just as easily send me away, or do what he did to my mother." "If he even tries to do that, he'll have to go through me first." Anthony said. "I mean, he and the Beadle are a lot stronger than me, they could probably take me down easily, but it's the thought that counts."
   Johanna laughed, and he smiled. "At least I was able to make you laugh." He said. Johanna leaned her head on his shoulder. "I love you." She said. "You what?" Anthony asked. She soon realized what she had said. "I... Well, I..." She stammered. She took a deep breath. "You know what? I'll admit it. I said I love you." She confessed. "Like, in a romantic way. I mean, you're my friend too, obviously. I just felt I should clarify, 'cause I know we've said I love you to each other before, but we usually meant it in a different way." Anthony kissed her head. "I love you too." He said. "In a romantic way." "You do?" Johanna asked. "Of course I do." He replied. "I love you so much, Johanna." She smiled. "I love you too, Anthony."
   Suddenly, she felt much more safe. She knew the Judge was still out there, and she knew he could easily come back, but for now, he was out of sight, and she was with her best friend, whom she loved dearly. Anthony had always been someone she felt comfortable with. Even if he was no match against the Judge in a fight, she felt safe around him. He was sweet, understanding, always there for her, and he cared about her safety. She knew he was someone she could trust, that he was someone who would never hurt her.
   "So, how have things been?" Anthony asked, breaking the silence. "Well, I went on a picnic with my family." Johanna responded. "That's nice. Was it fun at all?" Anthony asked. "Yeah. It was nice to get out of town for a while." Johanna said. "I bet it was." Anthony replied. "Anything else?" Johanna tried to recall if anything else eventful had happened. Of course, there was the murder she had witnessed that previous night. She figured it was safe to categorize that as eventful. She would never share that information with anyone though, not even Anthony. She would never tell anyone about what she had seen. This was a secret between her and her parents. She still couldn't believe what she had witnessed. She didn't care about Mr. Johnson at all, she just couldn't believe that her father really killed him. Her own father was a murderer, and he was planning to kill again. That was what he meant when he swore vengeance. He was planning on killing Judge Turpin. Johanna didn't care about Turpin either, it was just strange to think that her father had been planning to kill him this entire time.
   "Johanna?" She heard Anthony say, pulling her out of her thoughts. "Are you alright?" He asked. "You look as if you've seen a ghost." "I'm fine." Johanna replied. "I suppose I'm still quite frightened by that encounter with the Judge." Anthony nodded. "One day, he'll leave you alone." He reassured. "Hopefully." Johanna mumbled. "You know, he's been after me ever since I was little. I don't think I ever told you about that." "He has?" Anthony asked. "When I was about six years old, he stopped by, and tried talking to me. Mum noticed, and told me to go to my room. I overheard them talking, and he kept trying to convince her to give me up. He told her he could give me a better life than she ever could. Their conversation quickly turned into an argument. That's when I decided to stop listening. The yelling frightened me. Lord knows what may have happened if a customer hadn't shown up. I believe he would've tried to take me by force. Luckily, someone walked in, and he decided to leave." Johanna explained.
   Anthony's eyes widened in shock. "Oh my..." He paused for a moment. "I knew he was awful, but that's just... I can't believe it!" "Mum says that when I was a baby, he tried to take me away. She managed to get him out of the house. Of course, I don't remember any of that. She said this happened when I was two." Johanna said. "I always asked her why he wanted to take me from her. For a while, she told me she wasn't sure why. I'm not sure if either of us truly know why, but after a while, we've both come to the conclusion that it's because I remind him of my mother." "I'm so sorry this all happened to you, Johanna." Anthony said.
   "Everyone promises they won't let anything happen to me, but I still fear that the Judge might end up doing the same thing to me that he did to my mother all those years ago." Johanna confessed. "I don't know if this will make you feel any better, but I swear on my life, I won't let anyone harm you." Anthony said. "But what if the Judge and the Beadle do what they threatened they'd do? What if they hurt you?" Johanna asked. "As long as they don't hurt you, I don't care what happens to me." Anthony responded. "But I care what happens to you!" Johanna exclaimed. "I don't want you to get hurt!" "Johanna, my love, take deep breaths." Anthony said.
   Johanna did as he said. It was only then that she realized how much she had been panicking. "I know it's easier said than done, but dwelling on these fears won't do you any good." Anthony said. "I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere. You're here too, and you're safe." "You're here." Johanna muttered. "And we're both safe." "Yes, I'm here, and we're both safe." Anthony said. Johanna sighed. "I'm sorry for rambling on about all of this. This was supposed to be a happy day." "It's alright, I don't mind." Anthony reassured. "And who says it can't still be a happy day? The flower shop's open. Would you like some flowers?" Johanna smiled and nodded. Anthony smiled back at her, and the two headed to the flower shop.

"Thank you for buying these! They're absolutely beautiful!" Johanna exclaimed. "You're welcome, dear." Anthony responded. "I've actually got something for you as well. It's at home though." Johanna said. "What is it?" Anthony asked. "You'll see." Johanna replied. "Alright then." Anthony mumbled. The two linked arms, and began to walk back to the house.
   She glanced at him for a moment, and smiled. She wasn't sure how to properly express how grateful she was to have him there with her. He somehow always knew how to make things better. Even when she was at her lowest, even when she found herself thinking about Judge Turpin, and Mr. Johnson, and the murder she had witnessed, he somehow knew how to make her feel better. And he didn't even know the entire situation.
   She had told him about the Judge and Mr. Johnson, but the murder, that was something he didn't know about, something he would never know about. She trusted him with a lot of things, but that was a secret she didn't trust anybody with. She wished there was a way to talk about it without telling people what her father had done. Getting all of that off of her chest would be great, but there was no way she could do so without getting her parents into serious trouble, so instead, she had to keep it all in her head, and deal with it all herself. "Johanna?" She heard Anthony say. "Are you alright? You've got that look on your face again." "I'm fine, love." She replied. "Don't you worry."

"My gift to you is in my room, I'll be right back." Johanna said. Anthony nodded. She rushed to her room, grabbed one of her paintings, and ran back to Anthony. "I've been working on this one for a month." She said, handing it to him. It was a painting of an open field with flowers blooming, and a cottage in the background. "It's that meadow with the cottage that we talked about on our first date." Anthony stared at the painting and smiled. "It's beautiful!" He replied. "Thank you, dear." "You're welcome." Johanna said. Anthony set the painting down on one of the tables, then looked over at her.
   "One of these days, we'll find a place just like the one in that painting." He said. "Hopefully." Johanna replied. "And we'll never have to worry about Judge Turpin again." "Or Beadle Bamford." Anthony added. Johanna smiled. "All of our worries will be out of sight." "Indeed they will be." Anthony responded. "How was your date?" Johanna heard a voice ask. She turned around, and saw Toby standing behind the counter. "Hello, Toby." She said. "It went well." She then said, answering his question. "That's nice." Toby said with a smile. "How have you been, Anthony?" "I've been doing fine." Anthony responded. "How about you?" "I've been fine, I guess." Toby said. "Mr. Todd's been acting stranger than usual today." "That's odd." Anthony replied.
   "Where is he?" Johanna asked. "He's upstairs." Toby said. "I think mum's up there too. She said she needed to speak with him. She's been acting rather strange today as well." For a while, this was something that Johanna and Toby would talk about every now and then. They had both noticed how strange Sweeney and Nellie had been acting, and wanted to know what was going on.
   Now Johanna knew what was going on. She knew that her father was planning on killing Judge Turpin, and she knew that her mother knew about it this entire time. She felt bad about keeping secrets from Toby. The two of them had quickly become close. He was like a brother to her. But she couldn't let him know the truth. She couldn't let anyone know the truth. She had to protect her parents, even if that meant sacrificing honesty, something that was usually so important to her. "Johanna?" She heard Toby say, bringing her back to reality. "Are you alright?" "Yes." She said. "I'm fine."