But We Could Get By

Chapter 40

Johanna had felt fear before, but none like what she had felt now. She hoped that maybe the Judge wouldn't try to do too much, for there were many others in the room, but she knew deep down that regardless, he'd likely get away with it. He was the Judge, after all. He had decided to stop by and try talking to her again, only this time, he had asked for her hand in marriage. She had tried to let him down easy, for she feared what might've happened if she said exactly what was on her mind, but even letting him down gently seemed to tip him over the edge. He seemed to have finally caught onto the fact that she truly wasn't interested. "Took him long enough." She had thought to himself. She figured maybe he had finally realized because instead of being persistent like usual, he immediately asked if Anthony was the reason she had rejected him.
   Of course, her love for Anthony was part of it, but definitely not the only reason, for she had many to not want to be anywhere near the Judge. He then immediately turned to threats, saying that he could just as easily do to Anthony what he had done to her father, or worse. She had no clue what made him think saying something like that would ever get someone to want to marry him? The most it could do was just make someone too afraid to say no, it would never actually make him more appealing. Not to mention, how could he think that she'd ever want to marry him considering all she had done to her and her loved ones, not to mention he was far too old for her. Nellie had intervened, and told Judge Turpin that he'd have to get her permission before even thinking about marrying Johanna, and that he would never get such permission.
   Soon enough, it became a whole argument, to the point where she worried that he could possibly harm Nellie or Toby, or even both of them. Not to mention, he seemed very serious about his threats towards Anthony, and she knew that he truly was capable of doing such horrible things to him if he wanted to. She knew that the Beadle had already threatened to seriously hurt him, and she knew the Judge probably wanted to do the same. Who's to say he wouldn't send Anthony off just as easily as he had sent Sweeney away all those years ago? Who's to say he wouldn't send Sweeney away again, or do something else, if he tried to intervene? Who's to say he wouldn't do to her what he had done to Lucy? Who's to say he wouldn't hurt Nellie like he almost had the times he had tried to take her away when she was little? Who's to say he wouldn't take out some of his anger on Toby and seriously hurt him as well?
   "What's going on?" She heard her father's voice say, pulling her out of her thoughts. "Mr. Todd." Judge Turpin mumbled. "You've been raising Johanna alongside Mrs. Lovett, haven't you?" "I have been." Sweeney replied. Judge Turpin nodded. "Well then, I suppose I should let you know that I was hoping to marry her soon, if you'd allow." Johanna wasn't sure why he had even bothered to say that, for she knew he didn't truly care about getting anyone's blessing. He'd find a way to get what he wanted regardless. There was no way she could win in this situation. It's either be in a terrible marriage and be miserable forever, forced to spend her life with a man she hates, or risk something terrible happening to everyone she cares about, and probably being forced to marry the Judge anyway.
   "You want to marry Johanna?" Sweeney asked. Judge Turpin nodded. There was a moment of silence. Sweeney looked as if he wasn't quite sure what to say, like he was planning his next sentence. It made sense, for if he got too defensive, he could both potentially give away his identity and lose his shot at revenge, but if he wasn't defensive enough, things could end up going terribly. Suddenly, Johanna had an idea. "Fine!" She exclaimed. "I'll accept your proposal, but you have to promise me that you'll leave Anthony and my family alone!" Everyone else around her seemed too shocked to speak, but Judge Turpin spoke up. "I promise." He replied. He then turned around to leave, but Johanna stopped him. "Also, I would like for you to visit this barber shop sometime before we marry." She said. "It'll help you, make sure you look your very best." Judge Turpin nodded, then left.
   "What did you just do?" Toby asked. "Why did you agree to marry him?" "Trust me, I have a plan." Johanna replied. "I'm not going to marry him. I just need him to think I'm willing." She glanced over at Sweeney, who simply nodded in response. He knew what her plan was, and so did Nellie. Toby and Anthony were both the only ones who didn't understand what it was that she was doing. For so long, she knew she couldn't let them know about what her father had planned for the Judge. Now though, she knew that they'd soon ask questions. "What's your plan?" "Why do you want the Judge to come here?" "Where's Judge Turpin?" "Judge Turpin went missing!" She knew it was now only a matter of time before they learned the truth, but how could she possibly tell them? What might they think of Sweeney?
   "Dad?" She finally said aloud. "Yes?" He replied. "Can I talk to you for a moment?" She asked. Sweeney nodded, and the two of them headed upstairs. "I have a question regarding my plan." She said. "If you're planning what I think you're planning, you're absolutely brilliant!" Sweeney exclaimed. "I told the Judge I'd marry him but to come here first to lead him right to you." Johanna stated. "You're absolutely brilliant!" Sweeney responded with a smile. Johanna shrugged. "Got it from mum." "That makes sense." Sweeney said. "You're not feeling bad about helping me get to him, are you?" He then asked. "I'm too far gone, but you're not." "I want to help you, dad." Johanna reassured. "Judge Turpin has done nothing but cause everyone such misery. Besides, I had no other choice. What I wanted to ask was, well, what do I tell Toby and Anthony?" She asked. "They'll know that I have a plan, that I'd never actually marry him, and once he goes missing, they're gonna have a lot of questions. What should I do?"
   Sweeney sighed. "I don't know." He mumbled. "I don't want them knowing, but they might end up figuring it out anyway. I don't want to have to deal with the possibility of them running to the law-" "They wouldn't!" Johanna replied defensively. She wasn't entirely sure how true that statement was, but she didn't want to believe that some of the people she was closest with would sell out her father, or even her for making the plan in the first place. She sighed sadly. "I suppose I am a little worried about that, to be honest. I don't think they'd do that to us though!" She said. "I'm also worried about what they might think of you." Sweeney responded. "I don't care what they think of me. If they think I'm horrible from then on, they'd be right, but you're not, and I don't want them to think badly of you." "I hadn't thought about that." Johanna muttered. "I suppose that's another thing I'm worried about." She said. "We'll figure it out though! I know Toby and Anthony to both be very understanding and kind people, they wouldn't think badly of me, right?" "I can't say for certain, but from what I know about them, I suppose you'd be alright." Sweeney said. "Hopefully." Johanna mumbled.
   "Also, you're not horrible!" She added. "We've been over this!" "I know, I know." Sweeney replied. "I'm still learning how to not think so terribly of myself." "Don't you worry, dad! You'll have all of us here to help you!" "Thanks, Jo." Sweeney said. "And thanks for that clever plan of yours." He added. "Soon, we'll never have to worry about the Judge or the Beadle ever again." Johanna raised an eyebrow. "You're gonna kill the Beadle too?" Sweeney's eyes widened, and he cursed under his breath. "I forgot I hadn't told you about that part!" He exclaimed. He then sighed. "Yes, I'm targeting Beadle Bamford too. That's it though, I swear!" Johanna laughed a little. "Don't worry so much, dad." She said. "I get it."
   "I don't know whether I should be grateful that you don't seem to mind or concerned." Sweeney responded. "Trust me, I'm a little concerned with myself." Johanna said. "But my family is more important to me than being in the right." Sweeney gave her a kiss on the forehead. "What did I ever do to deserve such understanding?" "You don't have to do anything." Johanna replied. "You've always deserved better than what life gave you." "You and Mrs. Lovett both seem to think that." Sweeney mumbled. "It's true!" Johanna said. "I hope life starts to treat you kindly." "Weirdly enough, I believe it has started to." Sweeney responded.
   "I never thought it would, but now, well..." He paused for a moment. "The Judge will finally pay for what he's done, and then after that, there might just be some sense of normalcy. I mean, I still grieve for what I've lost, yet I'm still so glad to have what I've got now. It feels so strange, wanting this life knowing how badly I once wanted my old life back, knowing how badly I still miss my old life." "It may feel strange, but I don't think it's a bad thing." Johanna said. "I'm glad you're feeling happier." "You definitely helped with that." Sweeney replied. "You and Mrs. Lovett both." Johanna noticed a bright look in his eyes the moment he mentioned Nellie. He usually had such a look on his face whenever she was mentioned, it was quite easy to tell when he was thinking about her just from seeing his face.
   She laughed a little. "You should give mum that letter!" She said. "She says you still haven't yet." "Maybe I will soon." Sweeney replied. "Why haven't you yet?" Johanna asked. "I don't know." Sweeney said with a sigh. "I suppose I'm just a little nervous." "Oh." Johanna replied. "Well, I think you should give it to her! What are you so nervous about? You know she loves you!" "I know." Sweeney replied. "I'm not nervous about that, I just- I don't know. Strangely enough, I..." His voice trailed off. "You what?" Johanna asked. "I want to tell her how I feel." Sweeney said. "Out loud." Johanna felt rather shocked, for she knew her father to be the type to bury his feelings deep down, but her shock quickly turned into happiness, for she was glad to see him become more and more willing to open up as time went on, and she was especially proud of him for deciding that he actually wanted to tell Nellie how he felt.
   "You should definitely tell her!" She said. "I think that'd be good for you both!" Sweeney nodded. "Well, you should probably head downstairs now, I still have a few more hours of work. I'll talk to you later." "Alright." Johanna replied. "See you later, dad!" "See you later, Jo." Sweeney said. "And thanks again for that amazing plan." "Oh, it's no problem." Johanna responded. She waved at him, then walked back downstairs. She found herself thinking about her plan, and she couldn't believe that she had actually managed to come up with something like that. She never thought she'd ever be the type to make such plans, though she supposed desperate times called for desperate measures.
   Strangely enough, the only guilt she seemed to feel was guilt that she didn't feel any guilt for what was in store for Judge Turpin. She hated herself for being so open to letting him die, but she really just didn't care. The Judge had caused far too much damage for her to care. "Besides, I had no other choice." She thought to herself. She repeated that thought over and over again, trying to make herself feel better about the whole thing. "I had no other choice."