But We Could Get By

Chapter 42

Even though Sweeney was finally allowing himself to enjoy all that he had now, and actually care for his new family, he couldn't help but still feel a little strange about it all. Just two nights ago, he had slept in Toby's room, for the kid was having troubles sleeping, and Nellie went in there with him to comfort him. He had fallen asleep in a chair just so he could stay there with her. He was in such disbelief that he was actually willing to stay there with her and Toby, and yet even so, he was glad that he did. He couldn't help but find it quite sweet how worried the boy was about Johanna. It was nice that they got along so well, that he really was the brother she never had. And, of course, he was always happy to be with Nellie. He had almost told her he loved her that night, just before Toby had come in to tell them about his difficulty falling asleep. It wasn't him who had interrupted though, Sweeney had stopped himself before getting the words out. He wasn't sure why, for he really did want to tell her. Why was he still so nervous? Were his thoughts of Lucy still holding him back?
   As much as he still loved and missed her, he truly did want to be with Nellie. She had talked about how they would be married one day, and they'd grow old together. When he had first returned to London, Sweeney could never imagine remarrying, and he also couldn't imagine living to old age. He still wanted to live for Johanna and Nellie, of course, but part of him couldn't stand to live with all the trauma. He was surprised that he had even survived prison, that he actually managed to escape in the first place. Now though, he really could picture living a long life, and even stranger, he could imagine it being fairly happy. He could imagine himself growing old with Nellie, and he loved the thought. "And maybe one day, I will be your Mrs. Todd." She had said. He couldn't help but smile. "One day, she will be." He thought.
   He recalled another thing she had said, "If only I could hold you forever." She still wasn't aware of how he felt. She probably still thought that he'd never love her the way he loved Lucy. He believed that he would never love anyone that much back when he had first arrived home. In fact, he had believed that he would never love again. Things were different now though, and soon, Nellie would know that. For now though, she was probably still hurting, and the thought of that made Sweeney's heart ache. He didn't want her to feel such pain anymore. He wanted her to know that he really did feel the same, that he is hers to hold and always will be.
   He wanted the two of them to be together. The life she wanted, the life she had described, sounded so appealing now. He found himself also wanting such a life. Maybe once he got his revenge, which was now more likely to actually happen thanks to Johanna's plan, he could focus on this life, this family. Maybe he'd tell Nellie how he felt for her after finally getting rid of the Judge. That way, he'd have nothing else on his mind. No distractions, nothing else to dwell on or worry about, he could just focus on her. He supposed that sounded like a solid plan.
   He suddenly heard a knock on the door, pulling him out of his thoughts. He walked over and opened it, and there stood Judge Turpin. "Hello, sir!" He said with a smile, trying his best to hide his anger and resentment. "Come in, have a seat!" Judge Turpin walked in and sat down in the chair. "Johanna recommended that I come here." He said. "I suppose she's right to do so, I need to look as good as possible for this special occasion, and I have been told that you're the best barber in town." "What will it be for you today?" Sweeney asked. "Let's start off with a shave." Judge Turpin responded. Sweeney nodded. "I can do that." He grabbed a razor. "I can guarantee the closest shave imaginable." He said under his breath, beginning to rub shaving cream on Judge Turpin's face. "Soon." He thought to himself. "You only have to keep up this facade for a little longer, and soon the Judge will be no more."
   "You seem to be in a good mood." He then said aloud. "I suppose love can do that to someone." Judge Turpin responded. Sweeney continued to smile, though he was furious deep down. He already despised the Judge for many reasons, and he was already angry and disgusted at how he was now trying to marry his daughter. How dare he try to say that what he had for Johanna was love? Forcing someone into marriage isn't love. Threatening loved ones isn't love. Every feeling that the Judge had expressed couldn't possibly be love, for if he truly loved Johanna, and if he had truly loved Lucy, he wouldn't have caused them such pain, at least not on purpose. How dare he try to compare what he felt for Johanna to feelings such as what Sweeney felt for Nellie, and what he had felt for Lucy? He didn't know everything about love, it was far too complicated, but he knew what it wasn't, and he found it offensive for the Judge to say that what he had for Johanna was love.
   He tried to push such thoughts away. He only had to keep up the facade for a little longer. He brought his razor to the Judge's neck and began to shave. "You really do seem to have a type, your honor." He said. "Why do you say that?" Judge Turpin asked. "Well, she looks very similar to her mother, doesn't she?" Sweeney responded. He kept the razor at the Judge's neck. "I see why you'd be confused though. I suppose someone like me, a family like mine, would be difficult to remember." The facade began to crack, his anger began to show more visibly. Now was his moment, vengeance would be his at last. Judge Turpin's eyes widened, he had a look of shock on his face. "Benjamin Barker?" He asked. Sweeney's blood boiled, and he could feel his rage bubbling to the surface, finally about to explode. "Benjamin Barker!" He shouted, pressing the razor to the Judge's throat.
   Before he could get a response, before Judge Turpin could even think about responding, Sweeney slashed the razor over, ending him for once and for all, getting his revenge at last. Of course, he still had yet to kill the Beadle, but his main target was finally dead. He sent the Judge down to the basement, then stared at his razor, which was now completely bloody. He almost couldn't believe it. He had finally gotten the revenge he so desperately wanted for so long. The weight that had been on his shoulders had lifted, at least a little bit. He would clean the razor soon, but for now, all he could do was stare at it. The silver blade shined as brightly as ever underneath the blood that now coated it. What a sight it was.
   He heard a knock on the door, bringing him back to reality. "Who is it?" He asked. "It's me." He heard Johanna's voice from outside of the door. He walked over to the door and very slightly opened it. "The shop's a bit messy right now. You can talk to me from out here." "Did you do it?" Johanna asked. "Is he gone?" "Yes." Sweeney replied. "He's finally gone." Johanna opened the door a little more and walked in. Sweeney's eyes widened. "Johanna, I didn't want you to see this!" "It's alright, dad." Johanna replied. "I thought I'd help you clean up." She looked around. "Where's the body?" "I sent it down to the basement." Sweeney said. "How did you do that in such a short amount of time?" Johanna asked. "Oh no." Sweeney thought to himself. How could he possibly explain the adjustments he had made to the chair? Johanna could never learn just how many people he had killed. Maybe he could somehow make her believe it was only for the Judge and the Beadle.
   "I made some adjustments to the chair." He said. "I thought it would make things easier once I got the Judge and the Beadle." "Oh." Johanna mumbled. "You're careful with that, right? It'd be really awful if you accidentally pulled that lever on one of your customers. Not to mention, I've seen you sit in that chair before." "Don't worry, Jo. I'm always careful." Sweeney reassured. Johanna stared at the bloody razor, which Sweeney had set on the shelf. "I can't believe he's really gone now." She said. "He'll never hurt you ever again." Sweeney responded. "He'll never hurt any of us. He'll never be able to do anything to us ever again. We're finally free of him." "What do you plan on doing with him?" Johanna asked. "Mrs. Lovett has an oven in the basement." Sweeney said. "We'll dispose of him there." "Thank goodness you actually have a plan." Johanna replied. "I was worried for a moment."
   "Come here, Jo." Sweeney said. Johanna walked towards him, and he pulled her close. "We're finally free of him." He repeated. She wrapped her arms around him, though she didn't say anything. He gave her a kiss on the forehead. "I love you, Johanna." "I love you too, dad." She replied. All of a sudden, Sweeney heard a loud scream. He couldn't hear exactly what was being said, but he could tell that it was Nellie's voice. He let go of Johanna and immediately rushed down to the basement, and she followed him. He tried to push away his fears, but he couldn't help but worry. What had happened? Was she alright? Why did she scream?