But We Could Get By

Chapter 4

Quick author's note: *** followed by an entire section in italics is a flashback scene. *** without italics is a time skip.

Nellie opened her eyes, and realized she had fallen asleep at her desk. It couldn't have been later than six in the morning. She decided to look over the letter she had written the night before. "I guess I'll send it." She said to herself. "But first, sleep." She thought. She walked over to her bed, and tried her hardest to fall back asleep.

"Mum, wake up!" She heard Johanna exclaim. She opened her eyes. "What?" She mumbled. "You know how my other mum stops by every now and then?" Johanna asked. "Yeah." Nellie replied. "What about it?" She asked. "She stopped by again, said my name, then left." Johanna said. "She remembers my name!" "That's nice. Glad to know she at least remembers something." Nellie responded. Johanna nodded. "Do you think she'll ever fully remember me?" She asked. Nellie sighed. "I wish I knew the answer to that question." She said. Johanna looked down. Nellie felt bad for saying what she had said, but for once, she had told the truth rather than giving her false hope. "Benjamin coming back isn't false hope. He will come back." She thought to herself.
   "I hope you know I'll always be here for you." She said, hoping to make Johanna feel better. "Thank goodness I still have someone." Johanna said. "I hope I didn't make you feel bad when I asked about my other mum." She added. "Why would I feel bad?" Nellie asked. "I just didn't want it to sound like I love her more. I love you both." Johanna explained. Nellie laughed a little. "Don't worry, Johanna, I know." She said. "Well, I'm gonna run into town to drop this letter off. Would you like to join me?" She asked. "Sure." Johanna replied. "Alright then. Go get ready." Nellie said. Johanna nodded, and ran off.

"I'm ready!" Johanna exclaimed as she ran downstairs. "How many times have I told you not to run down those stairs?" Nellie asked. "Sorry." Johanna mumbled. "You don't have to apologize, just be careful. I don't want you to get hurt." Nellie said. "Johanna." She heard a voice say. She turned around, and noticed Anthony Hope, Johanna's friend, standing at the door.
   "Anthony!" Johanna exclaimed. "Hello, Anthony." Nellie said. "Hello, Mrs. Lovett." He replied. "I have some news. It's both good and bad." He said. "What is it?" Johanna asked. "You know how my father's a sailor?" Anthony asked. "Yeah." Johanna replied. "Well, he's traveling to several different places, and he's letting me go with him. I've always wanted to travel, so that's the good news, but the bad news is that I'll be away for a while." Anthony explained. "Oh." Johanna said. "When do you think you'll be back?" She asked. "I don't know." Anthony replied. "I'm sorry." He added. "It's fine. I'm happy for you. You always talked about traveling." Johanna said. "I just came to tell you both goodbye. I'll miss you." Anthony said. "We'll miss you too, Anthony." Nellie responded. "You'll write, won't you?" Johanna asked. "Of course!" Anthony exclaimed.
   Johanna hugged him. "Goodbye, Anthony." She said. Anthony hugged back. "Goodbye, Johanna." He replied. "I love you." He then said. "What did you say?" Johanna asked. "I said I love you." Anthony said. "I know that. I mean... Why?" Johanna asked. "You're my friend. I love my friends." Anthony replied. "Oh." Johanna said. "Well, I love you too." She added. Anthony let go of her. "Well, I've gotta go now. Goodbye! I'll see you when I get back!" He exclaimed. "Goodbye! Tell me all about it when you get back!" Johanna responded. "You bet I will!" Anthony called as he walked out the door.
   Nellie couldn't help but smile. "You two remind me so much of your father and I when we were your age." She said. "Really?" Johanna asked. "Yeah." Nellie replied. Johanna giggled. "You're in love with dad though, and I'm not in love with Anthony." "True." Nellie replied. She found herself thinking about her childhood, and all the time she had spent with Benjamin.

***

"Hey Ben, guess what?" Nellie asked excitedly. "What?" Benjamin replied. "I'm gonna be visiting my aunt by the sea next week!" Nellie exclaimed. "I've always loved it there! I hope I can live there one day!" She added. "I've only been there once, but it's a nice place." Benjamin said. Nellie smiled. "One day, the two of us are gonna get a nice place by the sea." She responded. "Well, if you want." She added. "That sounds nice." Benjamin said. Nellie sighed happily. "I love you, Ben." She said. "What?" Benjamin asked. "I said I love you." Nellie said. "You're my friend, and I love my friends." She added. "Oh." Benjamin replied. "I love you too." He said.

***

"Mum?" Nellie heard Johanna say, bringing her back to reality. "Johanna!" She replied. "Sorry about that, I just... I got lost in my thoughts." She added. "Oh." Johanna said. "Are we gonna go into town now?" "Yes we are." Nellie replied.

***

"Do you think he got any of the letters we sent?" Johanna asked. "I don't know, but hopefully." Nellie said. She walked towards the flower shop. "I think the pie shop could use some decorations." She said. She entered the shop, Johanna following. "Which flowers do you think we should get?" She asked. "I don't know." Johanna replied. "You like daisies, don't you?" She asked. "Yeah. I am buying some, but I wanted to buy some flowers of your choice as well." Nellie said. "Oh." Johanna replied. "Gillyflowers, maybe." She added. Nellie smiled. "Gillyflowers are nice. One of my favorites, along with daisies." She said. "They're one of my favorites too." Johanna responded. "Those and crocus."
   Nellie picked up a few flowers, and brought them to the front. She ended up having to put a few back because she fell short of the cost. She paid for what she could, then left. "Why are flowers so expensive?" She asked. "We should have a garden! Then we wouldn't have to pay for flowers!" Johanna suggested. Nellie laughed a little. "If only it were easy keeping up with a garden around here." She said. "It's not just the flowers though. Either everything is getting more expensive, or I'm..." Her voice trailed off. "Or you're what?" Johanna asked. Nellie sighed. "I'll explain when we get home." "Okay." Johanna replied.
   The two walked home in silence, but as soon as they arrived, Johanna asked, "What were you going to say earlier?" "I'm afraid business has been worse than usual." Nellie said. "I noticed less people have been showing up." Johanna responded. "Yeah. And the less customers I have, the less money I make." Nellie explained. "I'm afraid we're gonna be in trouble soon, but don't worry, I'll get us through it. I'll get more customers soon." She reassured. "I hope so." Johanna said. "Business will get better soon, and someday, I'll make enough for us to afford a nice house by the sea." Nellie responded. "We'll wait for dad though, right?" Johanna asked. "Of course we will." Nellie said. Johanna smiled. "And we'll live happily ever after, just like in fairytales!" "Yes we will." Nellie replied, picking her up and spinning her around. "Wow, you've grown so much! I almost can't lift you anymore!" She said, putting her back down. Johanna laughed. "I haven't grown that much!"
   Nellie smiled sadly. It was strange how quickly the years seemed to fly by. Johanna was already ten, and nine of those years were spent without the Barkers. She didn't talk about Lucy much. She knew it was unlikely she'd ever recover, and she just couldn't bring herself to tell Johanna. She did have hope that Benjamin would return, though as the years went by, it felt less likely. That was another thing she'd never tell Johanna.
   For years, they had hope that he'd return. Nellie herself refused to give up that hope, as unlikely as it seemed, and she didn't want Johanna to lose hope either. Then there was her financial situation. She could no longer deny that times were getting hard, and business was getting worse. She truly wanted to believe things would get better, and she, Benjamin, and Johanna would have a happy fairytale ending, not just for her sake, but for Johanna's, but with how things were going, she just wasn't sure if that would happen. "Are you alright?" Johanna asked. "That's usually the smile you have when something's wrong and you're trying to hide it." "Don't worry, Johanna, I'm fine." Nellie said. "Everything is fine."