But We Could Get By

Chapter 25

"I hope this place is alright." Anthony said as he and Johanna entered a restaurant. "It's all I can afford right now." "This place seems nice." Johanna reassured. "Besides, I don't need anything super expensive and luxurious. All that matters is that I'm here with you." Anthony smiled. "I'm so lucky to be with you." "And I'm lucky to be with you." Johanna responded, smiling back at him. The two walked over to a table and sat down across from each other. "Slightly crowded here." Anthony said. "I'm sorry I couldn't find somewhere else." "It's alright, love. You don't have to worry about it so much." Johanna responded. "Mum's shop gets quite crowded too, I'm used to it." "I'm glad her business is doing so well now. I remember when we were younger, she hardly had anybody stopping by. I was a bit too young to fully understand the gravity of your financial situation, but even so, I worried about you both." Anthony said. "I'm also glad her business is doing so well, and same goes for dad's business. They're both doing quite well, and we finally no longer have to worry about simply getting by." Johanna replied. "Things really seem to be looking up for us now." "That's wonderful!" Anthony said.
   "How about your art? I believe I recall you mentioning a new painting you've been working on." "It's going quite well! I'm almost done with it!" Johanna exclaimed, smiling. "Oh, and it's another one for you!" "Oh, really?" Anthony asked. "At this rate, I'm gonna have a whole section of my wall dedicated to your art." He laughed a little. Johanna couldn't help but also laugh. Anthony's laughter seemed to be quite contagious, as was his smile. "You better make room on your wall." She said, still laughing. "I know you're not being serious, but believe me, I will." Anthony responded. "Your paintings are the best decorations I've got." "You're so wonderful." Johanna said. Anthony shrugged. "I'm just being honest."
   Johanna reached out across the table and held his hand. Neither of them said a word. She found herself staring into his beautiful eyes. How absolutely lovely he was. How beautiful, kind, and gentle he was, and the best of all was that she was the one who got to be with him. The more she stared at him, the more everything else seemed to fade away. She had almost forgotten how noisy and crowded the restaurant was. All that mattered in that moment was him. "Here's your tea, ma'am." She heard a voice say, bringing her back to reality. She glanced over at the man who had spoke. "Thank you, sir." She said. The man simply nodded and walked away. "So... Back to the staring contest?" Anthony asked. Johanna laughed a little. "Oh, you want a staring contest?" She replied. "It is on!" She began to stare at Anthony, but she couldn't help but laugh, which caused her to blink. "I win!" Anthony exclaimed. "You know I can't take these seriously!" Johanna responded. "Sorry, Johanna." Anthony said through laughter. "It's alright, dear." Johanna replied.
   She looked away from Anthony for a moment, deciding to take a look around the restaurant. As she did so, she noticed someone at the door who looked a bit familiar. She quickly looked away, and found herself trying to hide under the table. "What are you doing?" Anthony asked. "I thought I saw the Judge." Johanna said. Anthony quickly looked over at the door, then glanced back at her. "It's not him." "Are you sure?" Johanna asked. "I'm sure." Anthony replied. Johanna glanced at the man at the door again. It wasn't Judge Turpin, just someone who looked quite similar. She sighed with relief. "Thank goodness." She muttered. "He really does look a lot like the Judge, doesn't he?" Anthony asked. Johanna nodded. "Way too much like him." She said. "I suppose it'd make no sense for him to come here anyway. He has far too much pride in his fancy places." She did her best to mimic him as she mentioned the fancy places.
   Anthony laughed so much that he seemed to be in tears. "Would you say that was an accurate Judge Turpin impression?" Johanna asked. "Definitely." Anthony said, trying to catch his breath. "Glad to make you laugh." Johanna said. "You really do have a good sense of humor." Anthony responded. "I mean, you're amazing in general, so that's no surprise." Johanna's heart skipped a beat. "You're amazing too." She said. "I love you, Anthony." "I love you too, Johanna." Anthony replied.

"Did you have a good time today?" Anthony asked. "Of course I did!" Johanna replied. "I always do when we're together!" Anthony gave her a kiss on the cheek. "You're so lovely." He said. "As are you, darling." Johanna responded. "How about you? Did you have a good time today?" "I did!" Anthony said. "I'm glad we got to go out today!" "Me too!" Johanna replied. "When do you think our next date should be?" She then asked. "Does next Friday work?" "It should." Anthony replied. "Most days work for me, I don't have a lot going on right now." "Alright, next Friday it is then!" Johanna stated excitedly. "Next Friday it is!" Anthony repeated. "Thanks again for walking me home." Johanna said as they stopped outside of her house. "You really don't have to thank me. Of course I'd walk you home." Anthony responded. Johanna wrapped her arms around him. "It really means a lot, knowing how much you care." Anthony pulled her close and held her tightly. "Of course I care." He muttered.
   He leaned in and kissed her, and she kissed back, holding him tighter. For a moment, everything seemed to fade away. She had almost forgotten how late it was, and that she soon needed to head inside. All that was on her mind was Anthony. How wonderful he was, and how nice it felt to be there with him. She always felt safe and warm whenever he held her, and whenever she was with him in general.
   She pulled away and smiled. "I love you." She said. "I love you too." Anthony replied. He opened the door and held it open for her. Johanna walked in, and Anthony followed. "I'm home!" She called out. She saw Nellie sitting at one of the tables, appearing to be quite sad. She couldn't find her father anywhere though. She figured he might be in his room. "Are you okay, mum?" She asked. "I'm fine." Nellie replied. "How was it?" She then asked. "It was great!" Johanna said with a smile. "That's nice, dear." Nellie responded. She knew her mother was happy for her, but she still had that sad look on her face, and she seemed rather disconnected. Her face fell. "Are you sure you're alright?" She was used to Nellie trying to hide her pain and act as if nothing was wrong. It was something she did frequently. Johanna was saddened by this, for she wanted to help, but she didn't know how because Nellie always tried to shield her from her suffering.
   "Mum?" She said, breaking the silence. "He was so close." Nellie muttered. "What?" Johanna asked. Nellie sighed. "I was spending time with Mr. Todd, and we danced, and it was lovely, and he held me, and he almost kissed me!" Johanna tried not to laugh. "And he says he doesn't love her." "He did?" She asked. Nellie nodded. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be saying this, I don't wanna ruin your happy day. You should tell me about how your date was." "I can tell you about it another time." Johanna responded. "It's okay, mum. Tell me what happened." Nellie sighed. "Everything seemed so hopeful." She said softly. "It was such a wonderful moment, and everything seemed so perfect, and then I went and ruined everything!" "I'm sure you didn't ruin anything." Johanna said. "I told him I loved him!" Nellie exclaimed. "I mean, I said it quietly, who knows if he heard me, but either way, he ran off and locked himself away. He probably did hear me. I probably scared him off." "I'm sure you didn't scare him off." Johanna said.
   She glanced over at Anthony and gestured towards the stairs, as if to tell him to go speak to her father. Anthony seemed to understand, for he headed towards the stairs. "I'll go see how Mr. Todd's doing." He said. "To believe I thought things were gonna be any different." Nellie muttered. "I mean, you never know." Johanna said. If only Nellie knew all the things Sweeney said about her when she wasn't around. If only she could notice what Johanna had noticed. Poor Nellie was left thinking she had ruined things, but Johanna knew better. She knew that Sweeney was probably thinking about that moment now, and cursing himself for nearly giving in to his feelings. He had probably just panicked at the last minute, and that was why he ran off.
   "I know deep down that he doesn't love me." She heard Nellie say, breaking the silence. "I'm not stupid. I just can't help but still have hope anyway. Even now, I still hope that maybe he'll come back down and say he loves me too." "It's not stupid to have hope." Johanna said. Nellie sighed. "I feel stupid." Johanna shook her head. "I promise you're not." She reassured. "Besides, you don't know how he's feeling. Maybe he does have feelings for you, he's just not ready to love again. He is still going through a lot." "Maybe." Nellie mumbled. "And I feel awful for feeling so upset, and being so wrapped up in my own feelings. I should be there for my friend, I should be comforting him, I should be understanding of how difficult it's been for him. Instead, all I can seem to do is wallow in self pity because of my stupid feelings." "You've been a wonderful friend to dad." Johanna said. "Trust me, he appreciates you. You've done the best you can." "I suppose I've tried." Nellie responded.
   "You've done so much for him, and you've done so much for Toby and I too!" Johanna exclaimed. "I really wish you didn't think so low of yourself. We all love you, and we're glad you're here. Our lives are so much better with you in them." "Thanks, Johanna." Nellie said with a smile. "I really am sorry to trouble you with my problems." "You're not troubling me at all." Johanna reassured. Nellie wrapped her arms around her. "Thank you for being here, Johanna." Johanna hugged her, holding onto her tightly. "It's really no problem at all." "I really am grateful for the support." Nellie said. "I know this probably isn't the life you imagined, or the family you want, but-" "This is the best family I could ask for." Johanna replied. "I wouldn't trade it for a thing." "Not even for a chance to have your mother back?" Nellie asked.
   Johanna sighed. She couldn't deny that she wanted to get to know Lucy, but that didn't mean she loved Nellie any less. She was her mother. It didn't matter that she wasn't the one who gave birth to her. She had raised her and cared for her for her whole life. Nellie was her mother, and she loved her. It saddened her to see how insecure she was, especially when it came to Lucy. If only she knew she wasn't just a replacement. If only she knew that she was an important part of the family. "I meant what I said, mum." She then said. "I wouldn't trade this for a thing."