But We Could Get By

Chapter 32

Sweeney couldn't believe what he had done. He hadn't planned on actually walking downstairs and meeting that Charles man he had been told about. He usually never went downstairs during work hours. It felt weird enough standing at the balcony, and even outright embarrassing whenever a customer would show up and catch him staring off into space, and strangely enough, most of his customers were somehow able to tell that it was Nellie he was staring at, which was embarrassing, confusing, and irritating. How could they tell? Maybe they had seen them in public before. Maybe they also saw how beautiful she was, and figured that of course he was staring at her.
   He couldn't help but feel slightly annoyed and bitter at the thought of someone else potentially falling for her, but he was usually never confrontational about it. Now though, here he was, standing before his beloved's new friend, the man whom he heard was so nice from Nellie, Johanna, and Toby. Now that he was meeting him, they seemed to be right, at least based on his first impression, but who knew what he could truly be like deep down? What if the niceness was a facade? What if he had cruel intentions, just like Mr. Johnson or Judge Turpin?
   Or, what if he truly was nice? Sweeney had always thought that Nellie deserved better than him, what if Charles was that better man? And based on the way he looked at her, and how he reacted to hearing that she talked about him, it seemed as though maybe he did have feelings for her. Sweeney's blood boiled, though he hoped his anger wasn't noticeable. "So you're a regular at the shop?" He asked. "I suppose you could say that." Charles responded. "Mrs. Lovett really is the best baker around, though I care more about the conversations than the pies." "That's quite nice of you!" Nellie said with a smile. Sweeney's heart skipped a beat, as it usually did whenever he saw that beautiful smile of hers. How absolutely lovely she was.
   "She is rather nice to talk to." He said. Charles nodded. "She tells me you're the best barber in town." "Oh, really?" Sweeney asked, glancing over at Nellie. "And I mean it." Nellie said. "A few months ago, there was this con man, Pirelli, and Mr. T and I exposed him, and then he challenged him to a shaving contest, which was judged by the Beadle himself, and Mr. Todd won, because of course he did!" "That's quite interesting!" Charles replied. "I suppose so." Sweeney mumbled. "Oh, you don't have to be so modest, you truly are the best!" Nellie exclaimed. "From what I've heard, I'd have to agree." Charles said. "She speaks very highly of you, you know." "You do?" Sweeney asked, glancing back at Nellie. "Of course I do!" Nellie replied. Sweeney couldn't help but smile, and he found himself reaching for her hand. She smiled back at him, and gently squeezed his hand. "Oh, are you two-?" Charles cut himself off, as if he didn't want to finish his sentence.
   Sweeney's eyes widened, and for a moment, none of them said a word. He wasn't sure how to respond. He knew that they weren't together, but part of him didn't want to say no, for if he did, maybe Charles would rush in and sweep Nellie off her feet. How could he say yes though? Not only would it be a lie, he felt terrible about wanting to be with her so badly, and what if she really did like this man? Was he going to be selfish and get in the way of her happiness? Besides, if he did say yes, he'd have a lot of explaining to do. He opened his mouth to speak, but before he said anything, Nellie spoke up. "It's complicated." She said. "Oh." Charles mumbled. "I'm sorry, did I give you the wrong idea?" She asked. "If I did, I'm incredibly sorry! I think you're such a kind man, and I really do want to be friends!" "It's alright, Mrs. Lovett. We can still be friends." Charles said. "I hope you two are able to figure things out." "Thank you, Mr. Thompson!" Nellie replied. "I should get back to work now." She then said, letting go of Sweeney's hand. "And so should you. I'll see you later."
   Sweeney nodded, and headed back upstairs, though he found himself back at the balcony, staring at Nellie and once again losing himself in a daydream. He could see her running to him after work, and he saw himself pulling her close. Or, if it was one of her off days, he'd carry her to the sofa again. There, they would talk for hours, though it would feel like no time had passed at all, and maybe they'd even fall asleep holding each other again. He could imagine a world where he'd always get to fall asleep and wake up in her arms. He could see them running away together. To where, he wasn't sure, but he could see a life away from Fleet Street and all the pain that seemed to live there, and the kids would be there too, of course. He still had yet to actually bond with Toby, but he knew that Nellie and Johanna both cared for him, and it would mean a lot to both of them if he at least tried. He figured it wouldn't be too bad. He was just reluctant because he wasn't sure how he felt about this new family he had, but suddenly, he didn't seem to mind it all that much.
   He continued to think about Nellie, and he could see a future with her. He could see himself spending the rest of his life with her. He could see them growing old together, then dying in each other's arms, and being buried next to each other. He wasn't quite sure what came after death, but whatever it was, he imagined that he'd spend his life after death with Nellie as well. Together forever, the two of them would be. "Excuse me, sir?" He heard a voice say, pulling him out of his thoughts. He looked over, and saw a man standing before him. "Your shop is open, right?" The man asked. "Yes." Sweeney replied. "Forgive me, sir, I've just got a lot on my mind." "No worries." The man said. Sweeney opened the door to his shop. "Come inside."

As soon as the work day was over, Sweeney quickly rushed down the stairs, not even bothering to clean up the shop, for he couldn't seem to get Nellie off of his mind the whole day, and was eager to see and spend time with her. "Mr. Todd!" He heard her say. "Hello, Mrs. Lovett." He replied, walking towards her. "How was the rest of your day?" She asked. "It was alright, I suppose." He responded. "How was the rest of your day?" "Pretty good, I'd say." Nellie said. Sweeney nodded. "That's good." He replied. "I didn't make things weird earlier, did I?" "How would you have made things weird?" Nellie asked. "I don't know." Sweeney said. "I mean, I randomly showed up during work, and I was probably acting real strange, and I made things weird with you and Mr. Thompson, all because of my stupid worries."
   He couldn't believe what he had just said. Was he actually mentioning his jealousy out loud? He hoped that Nellie wouldn't question him any further about it. "You didn't make things weird. Mr. Thompson is still my friend, and he was quite nice about the whole thing." Nellie reassured. "And what worries do you speak of?" "Damn it, I was hoping she wouldn't ask!" Sweeney thought to himself. "Well I, I mean... You two seemed like you were getting close, and I know you said that I'm your closest friend, but it's not just that, it's- Nevermind, forget I said anything!" Nellie laughed a little. "Oh Mr. T, you silly man." Sweeney could feel his heart begin to race. How he adored the soft sound of her voice, and he couldn't help but grow fond of that cute little nickname she had given him. "You've got nothing to worry about." She said. "You're the only one I want."
   Sweeney's eyes widened. Had he heard her correctly? "Really?" He asked. "Yes!" Nellie replied. "Yes, my love!" Sweeney couldn't help but smile. "I didn't know that." He said. "You really-? I mean..." "Yes, love." Nellie said softly, pulling him close. "Always had a fondness for you, I did." Sweeney wrapped his arms around her, holding her as tightly as he could. He wasn't sure what to say in response, for everything he could think of would've immediately given away how he was feeling, if everything he had said before hadn't already done so. He decided to stay silent, and just enjoy the warmth of her embrace. He found himself trying not to get overly emotional, but he couldn't stop himself from getting a little teary eyed. He never thought he'd get the chance to feel a love like this again. He thought he had lost that chance for good when he lost Lucy. He thought he would never love again, and that even if he did, no one could possibly love him. Yet here he was now, with the most wonderful woman he could've asked for, someone he felt he didn't deserve, but was still glad that he got to hold.
   Did she truly love him? Was that what she had meant? Was he really lucky enough to be loved by her? "Is this real?" He asked. "Yes, dear." Nellie replied. "At least I hope it is." "Oh, Mrs. Lovett." Sweeney said, giving her a kiss on the forehead. He still missed Lucy so much, but he couldn't deny that it felt nice to love again, especially someone like Nellie. "Mr. Todd?" He heard her say. "Yes?" He replied. "What are we?" She asked. Sweeney wasn't sure how to answer that question. They were friends, of course, and he really did love her. Was he really going to allow himself to act on that love though? Was he really going to allow himself to let go of Lucy? Were they really meant to be lovers? He wasn't sure he had the answer to any of these questions. "I don't know." He finally said. "Oh." Nellie muttered. "Well, I suppose I should go. I'm quite tired." "Alright." Sweeney said, letting go of her. "Goodnight, dear." "Goodnight, love." Nellie replied. "I'll see you tomorrow."