But We Could Get By

Chapter 30

Nellie couldn't believe it. She had recalled falling asleep on the sofa before, for sometimes she would be too tired to go to her room, but this time, her beloved Sweeney was there with her. They had fallen asleep while holding onto each other. He could've gotten up and left her there. He could've woken her up, and they could've gone to their own rooms. Instead, he chose to stay there with her, and not disturb her sleep. Not only did she think that was quite sweet of him, she was also very happy to get to fall asleep and wake up in his arms. She wished every day could be like that. She remembered a while ago, when she had thought about how badly she wanted to just curl up on the sofa with him. Finally, such a moment existed. It felt so cozy and warm there in his arms, as he held her tightly.
   She held him as tightly as she could, and closed her eyes. She felt as though she could've lived in that moment forever. Just the two of them, without a care in the world about the past, or the pain, or anything else that could possibly trouble them. She opened her eyes once again, and stared at his beautiful face. How absolutely lovely he was, how lovely he always was. She was so grateful to have him there. She recalled thinking about how lucky Lucy was, to get to be with him, to get to be in his arms every day. Now she was the one who was lucky enough to be here with him, now she was the one whom he held onto.
   She gave him a kiss on the cheek. "I'm the luckiest woman in the world." She said softly. "How so?" Sweeney asked. "I'm the one who gets to be here with you." Nellie responded. "Anyone would be lucky to be with you." "I doubt that, but thanks." Sweeney said. "Oh, Mr. Todd." Nellie mumbled, shaking her head. "I know you don't think so, but you truly are so wonderful. You're the loveliest man I could ask for." "I don't get why you think so highly of me." Sweeney said. "How could I not?" Nellie asked. "You're so easy to adore, my love." She gave him another kiss on the cheek. "My dear, sweet love." She muttered. "My love." She repeated those words multiple times, as if she really wanted to make it clear that he was her love.
   It was quite sad that he thought so low of himself, that he didn't understand how anyone could care so deeply about him. He seemed to think he wasn't good enough for the people in his life, but in Nellie's eyes, that wasn't the case at all. To her, he was absolutely perfect. She knew deep down that true perfection didn't exist within anyone, but he was perfect to her. He was everything she could ever want. If only he could see what she saw, then he'd understand why she loved him so much, and how lovable he truly was. "I really do appreciate your kindness." Sweeney said. "I don't know what I ever did to deserve it." "You don't have to do anything, dear." Nellie responded. "You deserve to be told how wonderful you are. You deserve kindness, happiness, tenderness..." She paused for a moment.
   "You deserve a break from all the torment, you deserve more nice, soft moments, you deserve to be cared for unconditionally." She reached out and gently caressed his cheek. "I know you've been dealing with so much for so long. I promise you that someday, the pain will go away, it'll be a thing of the distant past. Someday, all of our worries will fade away, and life will be full of nice, soft moments." She leaned her head on his shoulder and smiled. "Moments just like this." For a moment, everything was silent. She stared into his eyes, as she often did. Those eyes were like an abyss, so easy to stare at and get lost in. And the way he seemed to be looking at her now, it was different than how he had looked at her before. Maybe it was just wishful thinking, but he seemed to have a look of admiration in his eyes. She had always dreamed that one day, he'd look at her like that. Was it finally real? Did he reciprocate her feelings at last? She tried not to get her hopes up, but she couldn't help it.
   She imagined a future with him, a life where the two of them and the kids could be a normal, happy family. She could see him confessing his love to her, and how overjoyed she'd be as she told him she loved him too, that she had always loved him. She could see their first kiss, a proposal, a wedding, them happily living their lives in a nice little house by the sea, and growing old together. She could see them many years from now, dancing and laughing like they were younger again, old and gray but just as happy and in love. She could see forever in his eyes. She could see a lifetime of happiness and love whenever she looked at him. She wondered if maybe he could see that when he looked at her? "Shall we get up now?" She heard him ask, breaking the silence. "Wouldn't want to keep the kids waiting." "Right." Nellie muttered. "I suppose we should get up now."

"There they are!" Johanna said with a smile as the two entered the room. "Sorry to keep you two waiting." Nellie responded. "Good morning, lovebirds!" Toby said, laughing. "Toby!" Johanna exclaimed, giggling. "Sorry." Toby replied, still laughing. Sweeney seemed to have a look of embarrassment on his face. "Alright you two, let's stop the jokes for now." Nellie said. "Sorry, mum." Toby replied. "It's alright, dear." Nellie said. "We just don't wanna embarrass your father too much, now do we?" Toby raised his eyebrows. "Well..." His voice trailed off. Nellie laughed a little. "Toby!" "Okay fine, I'll stop embarrassing him!" Toby responded, also laughing. "We made you breakfast!" Johanna stated, switching the subject. "Thank you, dear!" Nellie said. "That's very sweet of you both!" "It's no problem!" Johanna responded. "We know that you work a lot, and we figured you should rest a little longer." Toby said. "I appreciate that." Nellie replied.
   She sat down at one of the tables, and Sweeney sat down across from her. "How sweet you both are!" She said. "Aren't they sweet, Mr. Todd?" Sweeney nodded, then quickly glanced away. He still seemed rather embarrassed, and he was a little bit red in the face. "Oh love, you don't have to be so embarrassed." She reached out across the table. "You know they were just joking around." "I know." Sweeney mumbled. "I'm not embarrassed, I just... I don't know." He reached out and grabbed Nellie's hand. Her heart began to race, and she smiled. "I'm so glad you're here." Sweeney gently squeezed her hand, but didn't say anything. Toby and Johanna walked over and joined them at the table. Nellie glanced at them, then back at Sweeney. "Such a nice little family we've got here, Mr. T." He didn't respond, though he did seem to have a small smile on his face.
   "Someday, we'll all get away from this town, and we'll live out the rest of our days in a nice little place by the sea, and we'll be a normal, happy family, the four of us." Nellie said. "Of course, where we live doesn't really matter. What matters most is having you three here." "That's very sweet, mum!" Johanna responded. "I think that sounds nice, everything you said!" Toby exclaimed. Nellie looked over at Sweeney. "What do you think, Mr. T?" "Anything you say." He replied. Nellie recalled the last time she had talked about her dream of living by the sea, and the four of them having a happy life together. Sweeney's response had been the same, although last time, he sounded rather bored and uninterested, and it seemed like he was staring off into space.
   This time, his tone sounded a lot more soft and kind. He still seemed to be a little zoned out, but at the very least, he didn't seem entirely uninterested. She wondered if maybe he was finally starting to accept the life he now had? Maybe he could finally see the future that she imagined, a future together. Once again, she found herself trying not to get her hopes up, but she couldn't help but feel overjoyed as she thought about spending the rest of her life by his side, with Toby and Johanna right there with them.