But We Could Get By

Chapter 15

A month had passed, and Nellie's business was better than ever. In fact, it was going so well, both she and Sweeney were too busy for that trip out of town for a while. Finally though, they were headed out of London, along with Toby and Johanna. "It's been ages since I left this town." Johanna said. "We used to travel every now and then when I was little, but as the years went by, we just couldn't afford it anymore." "I've never left this town at all." Toby replied. "You'll love where we're going. It's got such beautiful scenery, unlike anything you've seen in London." Nellie said. "I'm excited to see what it looks like!" Toby exclaimed. "I'm excited to visit it again." Nellie said with a smile.
   She looked over at Sweeney. "What about you, are you excited?" Sweeney nodded, then went back to staring out the window. He seemed like he was either bored or sad, or maybe both. Nellie wasn't quite sure. She leaned her head on his shoulder. "I'm glad you agreed to accompany me. I really am happy to spend time with you." She said. "You say that as if we don't see each other every day." Sweeney responded with a monotone sound in his voice. "Oh, Mr. Todd." Nellie mumbled. "What?" Sweeney asked. "Nothing." She said with a sigh.
   "You know, for me, there is no 'too much' when it comes to spending time with you. I love being with you. I mean, of course I need personal space sometimes, everyone does, but I really do love spending time with you." Sweeney continued to stare out the window, not responding. "You're someone I'd love to spend the rest of my life with." She said. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?" Sweeney asked. "What do you think I'm saying?" Nellie replied. "Nothing, nevermind." Sweeney mumbled. Nellie sighed. "Anyway, I love being with you, and I'd love to spend more time with you. I suppose you get the point now." She said.
   "You've been using that word a lot." Sweeney responded. "The word love." He clarified. "Love is a strong word, you know. I don't know about you, but I don't use it loosely." "Perhaps I feel strongly about this." Nellie said. "And about you." She muttered. "What?" Sweeney asked. "Nothing! It was nothing." She replied. "Is everything alright, love?" Sweeney asked. "You're acting rather strange." Nellie felt as though her heart were soaring. He had called her love before, but this time, because of his previous statement, it felt different. "I thought you said you never used that word loosely." She said with a smile. Sweeney's eyes widened, as if he had only just realized what he had said. "I-" He was so shocked, he almost couldn't speak. After pausing for a moment, the words finally seemed to come back to him. "You got me there, my love." He then cursed under his breath. "I did it again!" Nellie laughed a little. "Did you forget that you've called me love before?" She asked. "I suppose I did. Maybe I do use that word loosely. I guess I never thought about that. I didn't think I'd use a word with such a strong meaning loosely, but I've been throwing it around without even really thinking." Sweeney said. "I don't even remember when, how, or why I started calling you 'love'. I guess there was just a moment in which I felt like I wanted to, and it just stuck." "Well, I love it when you call me that." Nellie responded.
   Sweeney nodded, then went back to staring out the window. She held his hand, and soon found herself staring at him. "Just as beautiful as he's always been." She thought to herself. She gently squeezed his hand and smiled. "How lucky I am to be here beside him." "I'm the luckiest woman alive." She said aloud. "What makes you say that?" Sweeney asked. "I get to be here beside you." Nellie replied. Sweeney didn't respond, which wasn't shocking, but it was a little disappointing. "He's doing it again." She thought. "Acting like he cares one moment, then ignoring me the next." She sighed. "I suppose I should've seen this coming." "Is this that place you were talking about?" Sweeney asked, pointing out the window. Nellie glanced out the window for a moment. "Yes, it is."

"It's quite a lovely day outside, isn't it?" Nellie asked. Sweeney nodded. She glanced at Johanna and Toby, who were walking around and exploring the area. "They seem to be enjoying it here." She said. Sweeney didn't respond. "You know, for the first time in a while, things have been running smoothly." She said. "You're back, business is great, things just keep getting better!" Once again, Sweeney didn't respond. "I can finally afford lots of nice little things. I've got some new dresses for both myself and Johanna. Of course, the nice things aren't the reason why I wanted business to be better. I just wanted to be able to afford to live, and be able to provide for Johanna and Toby. The dresses and such are nice though." She found herself rambling on a bit. There was still no response. She sighed. "Are you listening to me?" She asked. "Of course." Sweeney replied. "Then what did I just say?" Nellie asked. "There must be a way to the Judge." Sweeney mumbled. She sighed again. "Always the bloody old Judge!" She exclaimed. "You know, we've got a nice, respectable business now, money coming in regular-like." She said. "And since we're careful to pick and choose strangers, people who won't be missed, who's gonna catch on?"
   She paused, waiting for a response, though she knew he probably had nothing to say. She didn't mind though. She found herself thinking about how she was close to being able to afford that trip to the coast she had been planning for years, and now that Sweeney was back, he could accompany her. For once, the happiness she felt because of how well things were going seemed to overpower the sadness she felt every time he ignored her. She smiled at the thought of a nice trip to the seaside. She could see herself walking along the pier with Sweeney beside her, and Johanna and Toby following close behind. She felt overwhelmed with joy just thinking about it.
   "Oh, I'm so happy, Mr. Todd!" She kissed him on the cheek. "You know what I'd like to do in maybe a year or so?" She asked. "What?" He replied. Nellie paused for a moment. He really wanted to hear about it? Of course, his tone seemed to express boredom, but maybe there was a part of him that was interested. "You really wanna know?" She asked. "Yes, I do." Sweeney replied. He still sounded rather bored, but she didn't mind. In fact, she still felt happy. "I would love to go by the sea." She said. "I used to visit my aunt there when I was a child. It's been ages since I last visited the coast at all. I've always loved it there. Maybe one day, we can get a nice little house by the sea." "Anything you say." Sweeney mumbled. He still sounded bored, and rather annoyed, but nothing could ruin this happy mood Nellie was in. For the first time in a long time, she felt as though she were on top of the world.
   "Wouldn't it be lovely to have a nice little house by the sea?" She asked. "It would be so cozy, and we could go on walks and see all the beautiful sights! Oh, it would be wonderful! And the weather is always so nice!" She waited a moment for a response, then quickly continued when she realized he wasn't going to say anything. "We could all live out our days in a nice little seaside town. I can imagine it. All four of us living happily in a nice, cozy, little house by the sea, and the two of us growing old together." "What?" Sweeney asked. For once, she was the one ignoring him. She found herself daydreaming about living by the sea. She could see how happy the children were, she could see how beautiful the ocean looked, she could see herself happily spending the rest of her life with Sweeney.
   She imagined a proposal, a wedding, growing old with him. She couldn't help but smile. "Mrs. Nellie Todd." She thought to herself. Had it been any other day, and any other moment, she would've never mentioned marriage aloud. But right now, she couldn't seem to stop herself from pouring out what she was feeling. "We could have a wedding by the sea. Beautiful scenery for a beautiful occasion." Sweeney didn't respond. He seemed to have gone back to ignoring her entirely. He appeared to be zoned out. Nellie doubted he even heard her, but she decided to continue to speak rather than ask him if he was paying attention. "Oh, I'd melt right then and there as soon as I say I do. Oh, and we could continue our businesses. You'll still have your barber shop, I'll still be selling pies, that part doesn't have to change. Unless you want it to, of course." She said. "What a nice life we'd have."
   She leaned her head on his shoulder. He glanced at her for a moment, with a confused expression on his face. He then looked away. "There must be a way to the Judge." He muttered. "Oh, you'll get that bloody old Judge." Nellie reassured. "And once all that revenge stuff is over with, we can live a normal life. Well, as normal as things can be with us. We're not exactly the definition of normal." She laughed a little. "Normal." Sweeney mumbled. "Like how my life was before I was sent away." He added. "With Lucy and Johanna." "Well, Johanna's still here." Nellie said. "Yes, and I'm grateful for that." Sweeney responded. "But Lucy isn't here." Nellie sighed. "Of course that's what he truly wants. His old life with Lucy." "I'm here." She said. "I suppose that's probably not the thing to say in response to you grieving your wife. I'm sorry, that was insensitive of me." Sweeney didn't respond. "It's getting late. We should head home." Nellie said. Sweeney nodded, and the two of them stood up. "Toby, Johanna, come here! We're going home!" Nellie called out. Toby and Johanna ran over to her and Sweeney, and the four of them looked around for a ride home.