But We Could Get By

Chapter 24

"There you are." Nellie said with a smile as Sweeney entered the room, followed by Johanna. "He just needed to talk for a moment." Johanna said. Nellie nodded. "Thanks again for the flowers. They really are quite lovely." "Really, it's no problem." Johanna responded. "Well, I should get going. I'm gonna be meeting up with Anthony again." "Alright." Nellie said. "Just be careful out there." "Don't worry, mum. I'll be careful." Johanna replied. Nellie gave her a kiss on the cheek, then waved her goodbye. Johanna waved back at her, then walked out the door. She stared at the door for a moment, watching as Johanna passed by out the window, making sure she was alright. She figured nothing extreme could happen just outside the door, but even so, she was quite protective of Johanna.
   She glanced over at Sweeney, and noticed he was doing the same. He understood her fears and where her protectiveness was coming from, and he seemed to have similar worries. They both knew how dangerous it could be out there, and how horrible people could be. They both had to worry about people like the Judge, or even the Judge himself, harming Johanna. "She'll be fine." Nellie thought to herself. She took some deep breaths, trying to calm herself down. "She's a smart kid, and she knows how to handle herself."
   "Are you okay?" She heard Sweeney ask. "I'm alright." She replied. "I just worry about Johanna. I know she knows how to handle herself, I just fear that someone's gonna harm her." Sweeney nodded. "I worry about that too." Nellie took some more deep breaths. "She'll be fine though." She reassured. "She knows how to defend herself, and I'm sure Anthony won't let anything happen to her." Sweeney nodded again, but didn't say anything. "Is everything alright, dear?" Nellie asked. "You locked yourself away earlier." "I'm fine." Sweeney said. "I just needed to be alone for a moment." "Oh." Nellie muttered. "Well, I hope that time alone helped." "I suppose it did, at least a little bit." Sweeney responded. "That's good." Nellie said.
   She glanced over at the bouquet on the counter. How sweet it was of Johanna to consider buying flowers for both her and Sweeney. They looked absolutely beautiful there in that vase. "The flowers are quite lovely, aren't they?" She asked. "They are." Sweeney replied. "You know, I never knew you had a favorite flower." Nellie said. "Not until now." "I don't know if I'd say I have a favorite. There's just some that I think are quite neat." Sweeney responded. "I think chrysanthemums are neat too." Nellie said. "And they look really nice with the gillies." "They do." Sweeney replied, his voice so quiet that it had almost sounded like a whisper.
   Nellie continued to stare at the flowers, and she couldn't help but smile. There they were, together, side by side. They were probably usually put in separate bouquets, but how beautiful they looked together. Together forever, those gillyflowers and chrysanthemums would be. "What is wrong with me?" She thought. "Am I really so lovesick that I'm seeing ourselves in flowers?" "I think people should make bouquets with gillyflowers and chrysanthemums together more often." She said aloud. "They really do look beautiful together." "They do." Sweeney mumbled. Nellie's face fell. Once again, he had that unenthused sound in his voice. It had been a while since he last seemed so uninterested. He had promised that he'd be a better friend, and so far, he held true to his word. Of course, Nellie cared about him regardless, even when he wasn't at his best. Why did he seem to be so disconnected now? Had she done something wrong? Was something going on with him that he wasn't telling her? Was he alright?
   "Are you sure you're alright?" She asked. "You seem- Well, I don't know. A bit sad, maybe?" "I'm fine." Sweeney said more sternly. He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, love. I didn't mean to raise my voice." "It's alright." Nellie replied. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I just wanna make sure you're alright. I really do care for you, you know." "I appreciate that." Sweeney said. "To be honest, I've just had a lot on my mind that's been troubling me, but I'd really like to forget about that for now." He reached out his hand. "Dance with me?" Nellie smiled, taking his hand. "Of course, dear."
   Sweeney pulled her close, and the two began to dance across the pie shop. Nellie always loved dancing with him. The smiles, the laughter, spinning around, being in his arms, getting to be close to him in general, she loved it all. Dancing was already fun, but it was even better when she was with him. And how nice it was to see him happy, even if it was only for a moment. He had such a lovely smile, which Nellie absolutely adored, especially when he was smiling at her. He had such a soft expression, which he rarely seemed to have nowadays, even on his better days. Usually, he appeared to be angry, upset, or completely numb, but it was different whenever they had moments like this. It was as if he truly was momentarily forgetting about his troubles. He didn't seem to be thinking about the past, or trying to relive what he had lost. He was there, living in the moment with her. It was just them, and nothing else mattered.
   "I love moments like this." Nellie said. "I suppose they're quite nice." Sweeney responded, twirling her one last time before stopping. Nellie stumbled a little, clinging onto him for balance. "Are you alright?" He asked. "I'm fine." Nellie replied, laughing a little. "Just did a lot of spinning." "Did I twirl you too much?" Sweeney asked. "Oh no, not at all." Nellie replied. Sweeney nodded. "Good to know, I suppose." Nellie could feel his arms loosen around her, like he was about to let go. She held onto him tightly. "Won't you hold me just a little longer?" There was a moment of silence. Sweeney appeared to be thinking about it. She hoped she didn't seem too desperate. She knew she could be at times, but she didn't want him to see that. "Of course, my dear." Sweeney finally answered, holding her tighter.
   Nellie smiled once again, happy to get to spend a little longer in his arms, and relieved that he didn't seem to think she was being too desperate. Everything felt so warm, so cozy, so nice. She stared at him, and she could feel her heart racing. She couldn't help but love him even more as each day passed. For a while, she thought that wasn't possible, for she figured she already loved him as much as one could possibly love a person, but her love only grew as time went on. How she adored those soulful eyes, that smile that, in her opinion, could put even the stars to shame, his sense of humor, how protective and caring he was towards his loved ones, how loving and sweet he was deep down, even if it was buried under the years of pain and torment that had hardened him, nearly turned him into a shell of what he was. Even on his worst days, she adored him. Even when he was so wrapped up in revenge that he neglected to notice her, even when he had those moments where he acted like he didn't care, she still loved him.
   Lately though, things seemed to be looking up. He still focused on revenge a lot, but he also seemed to always make time for her. The two had been spending a lot of time together, and they frequently had moments like this, where it seemed as though there was hope for Nellie, hope that one day, they would be together. Moments like this made it feel as though maybe it was possible for him to love her the way she loved him. "Mr. Todd?" She said, breaking the silence. "Yes?" Sweeney responded. "I wish it could always be like this." Nellie said. She found herself leaning in closer. "You and me, without a worry in the world. Just this nice, warm feeling forever."
   Sweeney remained silent, although he also seemed to be leaning in a little, close enough for their foreheads to touch. If there was anything else Nellie had planned to say, she certainly couldn't remember it, for suddenly she felt speechless. He was so close. That was all she could seem to think about. "He's so close." She repeated in her head. How easy it would've been to kiss him, how badly she wanted to do so. She could almost feel his lips on hers as she thought about it. She leaned in a little closer, almost close enough, but she soon stopped herself. "What am I thinking? I can't overstep like that!" She thought to herself. "What if I make him uncomfortable? What if I ruin things?"
   She had worried about making things weird and ruining their friendship before. Pretty much every time she found herself acting at least slightly romantic with him, she worried about that. She didn't want to make him uncomfortable, and she didn't want to lose him. Even so, she couldn't help but want to kiss him. He was right there, and he was so close, closer than ever before. Nellie was a patient woman, and was willing to wait for him however long it took, but she couldn't help but grow so tired of waiting. She wanted to kiss him, she wanted to tell him how she felt, she wanted to hear him say he loved her too, she wanted to hold him and never have to let go. She knew deep down that he'd never be hers, that his heart belonged to another. In this moment though, it seemed as though maybe he was hers. He was hers, and she was his. Finally, he was right there, he was close enough.
   "I love you." She muttered so softly that she wasn't sure if he even heard her. "I have to go." Sweeney said, moving back and letting go of her. "Mr. Todd, wait!" Nellie exclaimed. "I'll see you later, Mrs. Lovett." Sweeney said, walking towards the stairs. Nellie sighed sadly. "See you later, love." She watched as he walked up the stairs and disappeared into his room. She couldn't believe it. They had almost kissed, they were so close, and on top of all that, she had actually told him she loved him. "Maybe that's what scared him off." She thought. She still wasn't sure if he had even heard her, but she couldn't help but think that maybe he did, and that was why he ran away. Maybe he just didn't realize what he was doing, and had finally come to his senses. "How stupid of me to think things would always feel that way." She felt tears begin to form in her eyes. "How stupid of me to think that maybe he really did love me." The tears began to run down her face. She tried to wipe them away, but it was no use. For once, it felt as though he at least sort of loved her. He had been so close. Now though, he once again felt so far away.