deserve ≫ s.w // sequel to jjs little sister [completed]

Chapter 10

A month. Its been a month since I've gotten out of the hospital, and I swear I'm not okay. People are saying that it's normal for me to be going through this, but I don't know.

I rarely ever leave my room. I haven't eaten a lot, I've only been drinking water, vodka, beer. I haven't been taking my pills. I feel like I'll try overdosing if I get near a bottle of pills.

I'm always looking through Jacks twitter, to see how happy he is with Gabby, it kills me. I go into his Instagram and all I see are pictures of him. He just seems so happy without me, like I never meant anything to him.

I didn't think I would hurt this bad, but I guess it just happens. I just sit in my room, watching sad movies, eating icecream. I cry as I see Jack tweet something about how he hasn't been happier with Gabby.

I swear my heart is breaking at every word I read. I play SoMo and look at me ceiling. It's 1:27am right now, and I've never wanted to just cuddle Jack so bad in my life.

I just want him to be right here, next to me. He could kiss my forehead, and tell me that everything is alright, or that it would get better.

But , no. He's happily with Gabby, and I'm sadly with no one. I sit in my bed constantly thinking of all the reasons why he wouldn't like me. He broke up with me, this means that he won't like me again.

Not caring about the time, I get out of bed. I walk over to my window, and climb out. I go onto my roof with a bottle of Skyy in hand. I go to the very top of the roof, and look at the street lights that shine down onto the empty road.

I guess how I kind of am right now; empty. That's all I feel. I guess you could say I actually don't feel anything, I just constantly feel numb. Fucking depression. God, like is it possible to drown depression in itself? Of cousre not. Wow, I'm so stupid to think that. What the literal fuck.

I take another drink, and all me emotions come pouring out of me, and I hate it. I hate how I am constantly crying over a stupid fucking guy that doesn't even care about me.

Maybe I should talk to Sam? I mean, we literally had like a day relationship, so I guess things won't be that awkward?

I don't know. But I do know that I can't keep on wprrying my brother. He is always home now, poor Emily always has to some over so JJ can watch me.

Nate doesn't have any right to be worrying and caring about me, he has Toby. Well shit, I guess I should text Sam? What am I even going to say?

"Hey I'm a depressed ball and need you."?

No, god that sounds so needy at a high level. I pull out my phone, and just start a normal conversation with him.

Me; Hey

I set my phone down, not waiting for a reply, it's 2am, he is probably a normal teenage boy and sleeping. But to my surprise, he texts back.

Sam; Hi? Any reason behind to why you're texting me? Lmao not trying to be rude here.

Me; Idk, I guess I just wanted to talk to you,,

Sam; About what beautiful?

Me; Can you just come over?

Sam: Of course, I'll be over in a few :)

I smile, knowing that he'll be here. I guess that I kind of miss him? I mean, he was a pretty good day boyfriend, until that party. I wonder what would have happened between us if he never cheated on me. Would we still have dated? Would we have broken up later?

All of these questions go through my head, until I get another text from Sam.

Sam; Where are you?

Me; Roof. Go through the window in my room

And not longer after that, Sam is on the roof and coming and sitting down next to me.

"Whats that?" He asks, referring to my Skyy, because he can't see in this darkness.

"Skyy," I reply before taking another drink.

"Mack, that isn't good for you."

"Why do you think I do it then?"

He sighs, taking it away from me. "You shouldn't be doing this to yourself."

"What?" I ask.

"Look at you, Mack. It looks like you've lost about ten pounds, it looks like you haven't slept for a while, and JJ is always saying that you barley ever leave your room. You can't keep drinking to take away your pain."

"Oh, I do more then just drink to try and take away my pain."

"What?"

"I cry, cut, starve, smoke. I do all types of things to take away my pain, Sam."

"You shouldn't even be doing all of this in the first place. You are a beautiful girl who deserves the best. You don't deserve what you had gone through. I wish I could just take away your pain. That party when I cheated on you, I never meant for that to happen. I actually think she might have drugged me. But I do know I felt horrible after it."

This kid is literally the best thing ever right now. "Sam," I sigh. I hug him, straddling on his lap, with my head in the crook of his neck. "I guess I miss you," I admitt.

"I'll be honest to, I've missed you. I did get a little jealous when you and Jack started dating, but I guess I should have seen it coming. I knew you liked him," Sam says.

"It was that obvious that I liked him?" I ask, obviously embarresed.

He chuckles, "yeah."

"Oh god that's embarresing," I say putting my head in his chest.

He chuckles, and rubs my back as I relax. "Thanks for being here, Sam. It means a lot, knowing nobody else is here for me."

He frowns, before kissing my forehead, "I'll always be here, regarless of our past."

---

Hehehe how was this?

Be honest; were you guys expecting that?

&

Are you liking this story? Idk if I am, I've had a lot of ideas for other stories and I delete them )): I just don't know how the story would turn out,,