So, since I am late to do everything, I recently got an Instagram account.
And I have noticed just how many people are on it.
And the fact that about 50% of them are annoying as hell.
Let's start with
The "Hey look at me I have more and better friends than you" person
This person will completely spam your notifications with pictures of them and their friends. The captions will be something like:
"Me and my BAES!"
"Best friends are forever!"
"I love having amazing friends. We've known each other since kindergarten. We have a much greater friendship than ANYONE else"
"You don't have as good friends as me and I like to rub that in."
The "Dysfunctional friendship" people
The dysfunctional friendship people.
I would like to reach through the screen and rub a dictionary on their faces.
They post a picture of them and their friends making silly faces.
Caption: Dysfunctional much?
Now, I understand this is sort of a saying, but it still is incredibly annoying.
All right, look at this,"Dysfunctional: not operating normally or properly"
DO YOU SEE THIS?
All right, if your friendship was actually dysfunctional, that means, it doesn't function to its purpose, being a friendship.
You see what I'm getting at?
Your friendship would have to not work as a friendship, eg, you both secretly hate each other, you never talk, et cetera.
The crazed shippers
Now, regular fan accounts are fine.
BUT THESE PEOPLE GOOD GOD
They will go to any length to secure their ship's status as real.
Like not even in a funny way. In a really weird way.
Hey guys, Louis said hi, hi starts with h, Harry starts with H, Larry confirmed!
The crazed non-shippers
These people will ruin your otp. Beware.
The "Selfie everyday" person
Every single day, this person will walk outside, stand in front of a tree or something, shine a bright light in their eyes, and snap a picture.
The bright light is so that their eye color is incredibly over saturated, and their skin looks like Voldemort. (No, no one knows why they think it looks good)
Then they post the picture and walk inside.
Caption: Picture of the day! I love the outdoors, it makes me feel free.
Or some bullshit like that.
Do you see the problem with that?
Unless you prefer to feel free for about a minute, you are telling LIES.
Also, do they post one of these EVERY SINGLE DAY?
The "look I'm a nerd because I'm wearing glasses even though I'm really just an attention whore and my iq is about -10 and I'm fishing for compliments look now I'm posing with an xbox controller even though I don't even know how to hit the start button"
Enough said. See my "nerds" rant
"Eat vegan"
It's really hard to explain why this is annoying if you've never experienced it.
I mean, vegan people are fine in general, just the Instagram accounts...
This person will post a picture of some rainbow of veggies and write about how beautiful plants are and some shit,
Then, they will post rotten meat and scream about how this is not real food.
Um, hello? This isn't the type of meat I eat. Like, I don't eat rotten meat, I'm sorry if you don't realize this.
The ... People.
It's hard to give these people a name, so I'll just call them the people.
They will put a ton of interesting hashtags, and the photo will be their selfie.
They'll say, Look, I'm so pretty, #troyler
Okay, if I'm bored and I want to stare at random mind-numbing stuff, i probably am not looking for your selfie. In fact, that could be just the thing to turn me into MY TRUE FORM ...
MWA HAHAHA
I AM ACTUALLY AN OCTOPUS FAIRY!!!
Okay, now that you're sufficiently terrified of my totally boss real form, I think I should leave.
Farewell😘
-ALK
YOU ARE READING
Just Random Stuff
RandomI have a lot of random stuff in my head I would like to get out, such as anecdotes about horrible substitutes, me talking to the voices in my head, and rants about things that annoy me.
