Just Random Stuff

Goosebumps

My comments will be in bold, and TVIMH is italics, of course
So, I once read a Goosebumps book.
First off, it wasn't even scary.
Aren't goosebumps horror?
Yes, they are.
Also, it began with a girl (the main character who I'm supposed to LIKE) and she really didn't want to go to summer camp.
As you can tell, I didn't like her.
She would whine and whine and it was in first person.
So she got to summer camp and she was in a cabin with these three girls, two of whom were best friends already, so she became grouchy.
And by grouchy, we mean would whine about how her mom forced her to go to summer camp and fling her backpack around
She picked up her backpack, put it on her bunk and was about to open it when...
"That's my backpack!"
"No, it's MY Backpack!"
"No!"
"No!"
She opened the backpack, and lo and behold, it was the other girl's backpack. Asthma medication spilled out.
"You horrible person! Now my life is ruined because I have an extremely common and easy to get along with except in gym class condition!"
Oh, my god! Asthma isn't that bad! It's only bad for like, running in gym class and stuff like that! Then it can be bad, but this is canoeing summer camp! And PEOPLE DONT CARE IFYOU HAVE ASTHMA!
And so later, around the campfire, apparently the other three girls stuffed a snake down her shirt. And she flipped out.
"NO! NOT A SNAKE! SNAKES ARE UGLY SLIMY HORRIBLE STUPID LITTLE CREATURES!"
So she ran away. For thirty minutes.
All right, that is pretty mean, but snakes aren't so bad you have to run away. White slugs would be. No they wouldn't! Anyway, if you're going run away, then stay away! We'd all appreciate it!
While she is running away, she steps in mud and makes a stupid noise.
"Ohhh."
She trips and makes a stupid noise.
"Ohhh."
She comes back to camp.
Okay, who says "Ohhh." when something bad happens? I say that when I figure something out.
She is very upset and decides that if she pretends to drown, that will solve all her problems.
She gets underwater way far out and goes under.
She stays under for as long as possible. When she is literally about to die, she comes back up.
"I was gasping for air!"
No shit, Sherlock! Ya don't stay under that long, idiot!
It was now winter.
That was when I decided that if I continued reading, I would throw the book out the window.
I have nothing to say.

Farewell😘
-ALK