THYLANE'S POV:
"What are you gonna do now?"
Gideon spoke after a long silent moment. He was there when I started crying until my eyes are dry. Hanggang ngayon...nandito pa rin siya.
"What's your plan?" he softly asked again. Being careful not to make me feel bad because of what happened. I didn't answered him and just stayed silent. I heard him sighed. "I know you're tired. And I know that everything hurts you right now." he said and touched my right shoulder. "But I want you to know that no matter what happens...I'll stay with you. Right here beside you."
That touched my heart. God knows that I wanted to cry because of what he said but I am so fucking tired of tearing up. It felt like my body is so dry.
"Minahal ko siya..." I said unconciously. Hindi naman siya nagsalita at nanatiling nakikinig. "Pakiramdam ko ay pinaparusahan ako ng Diyos. Ano bang kasalanan ko? Ano bang ginawa ko?" I said na parang lantang gulay. Talagang ubos na ang lakas ko at hindi ko na kaya pang maglabas ng luha.
"You didn't do anything wrong, Tala. You are the person that has the kindest heart for me." Gideon said like he was trying to make me understand.
Hilaw akong napangisi. "'Yon na nga, eh. Hindi ako naging masamang tao pero bakit ganito na lang kahirap ang buhay na binigay sa'kin?" tanong ko nang hindi siya nililingon.
Gideon sighed for the second time. "I don't know." sagot niya. Hindi na lang ako umimik. "All I know is that life is unfair sometimes."
"Sometimes?" kunwaring tanong ko. "Then, why is my life always unfair?" tanong ko ulit at hindi na siya nakasagot. "Bakit ganito? Bakit kung sino pa 'yung mga taong minahal ko ng sobra...sila pa 'yung may lakas ng loob na saktan ako?"
"I'm never gonna hurt you, Tala." napalingon ako sa kaniya matapos niyang sabihin 'yon. His eyes are full of emotion when he reached for my hand. "I know I've already hurt you when I didn't told you about the truth. But I did that for you because I'm afraid na mawala ka na naman sa'kin." ani Gideon habang nakatingin sa kamay kong hawak-hawak niya. "I already lost you for so many times..." he whispered. "I don't know what will happen to me if I lose you...again."
What he said broke my heart. Hindi lingid sa kaalaman ko ang nararamdaman ni Gideon para sa akin. Alam kong higit pa sa pagkakaibigan ang nadarama niya. Hindi naman ako manhid para hindi mahalata ang lahat ng iyon. Pero hindi ko magawang pagtuunan ng pansin ang mga iyon dahil masyado akong bulag sa pagmamahal sa maling tao.
Lalong lumamlam ang mga mata ko at hinigpitan ang kapit sa kamy niya. "I'm sorry, Gideon.." bulong ko. Gusto kong maiyak. Gustong bumuhos ng mga luha ko pero ubos na talaga ang enerhiya ko para umiyak.
"Don't say sorry..." he gave me a fake smile and looked at me. "Like what I said, you didn't do anything wrong."
I just sighed. Naaawa ako sa kaniya. Naaawa ako kay Gideon. Magkaiba kami pero at some point magkaparehong-magkapareho kami. We are both loving the person who can never feel the same way. I really feel sorry for Gideon.
"It's already late. I know you're very, very tired. You should take a rest so you'll get enough energy for the next days." Gideon said. Hindi naman na ako umalma dahil tama siya. Kailangan kong mag-ipon ng lakas para sa mga susunod na araw. Inalalayan niya akong mahiga at hinimas ang buhok ko.
"Close your eyes and sleep. Babantayan kita." he whispered as he brushed my hair. My eyes closed and after a few seconds, I am already sleeping.
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