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Chapter 41

Don't forget the bag

hey asshole

got a question for u

we have rules right

u remember them

Not today

what tf do u mean not today

look u can do what u want with me ok

u get what u pay for

but leave my family and my private life out of this

Oscar

Come over now or I swear you'll never see my boyfriend again

oh so thats the pay now?

ur selling ur bf just for some sex?

We won't have sex today

?

Two minutes left

You don't wanna make me wait today

calm down man its only 5 min

10

almost there

He doesn't even greet me when I enter. I think of Felix as I look around. I haven't heard from him since yesterday, and I really have the desire to text him, but I don't even know what to say. It's only been one day I saw him and I'm already craving for seeing him again. I want more.

Blair takes the bag from me and nods towards the bed. "Take off your clothes."

"No foreplay today?"

"You have one minute." Something in his voice scares me, but I ignore it. Or at least I pretend to.

"Wow," I say, taking off my jacket and shoes. "Someone's in a good mood today. All my clothes?"

"Yes."

I take off my shirt first. The stumble out of my pants. Strip off my boxers too.

"Lay down," he says while he's messing around with something on the wall. I don't even care. I just hope it's the heater.

I lay down on the bed. "Why are we even doing it if you're not in the mood," I mumble.

Blair sits next to me. "Lift your head." I lift my head. Even though I haven't had sex in a while, I'm not even excited when he leans forward and I feel the warmth of his breath on my face. And his fingers as he blindfolds me. Okay, maybe I'm a little scared because I can't see what's expecting me now. But all I can think of is Felix, his soft lips and that I want to kiss him again.

"Your arms," he says, and I lift them as well. His hands are cold when he ties my hands together on the bed railing, and all I can think of is that it was warmer in this apartment yesterday. Maybe because Felix likes it warm and comfortable. God, I miss him.

I feel the bed loosen and hear his footsteps. A drawer. The click of a tube. I can see it before my closed eyes—his focused face as he makes all these preparations. "You know what's funny," I start when I don't hear anything anymore, "you ghosted me because you thought I'd get horny, right? But I'm not even horny. You ignoring my messages cured my sex addiction." Actually, it's probably Felix who cured me.

I laugh a little as he ties up my feet as well. Just in a very different way. "While you intended the opposite. You really must be a doctor. Ouch—dude, this is too tight!" Of course he doesn't answer. "Hey. I have a question. Can I ask it?" No answer. "I don't ask to provoke you, I actually wanna know. Where's Felix while you fuck me here?"

Suddenly I feel a dry rag in my mouth and turn my head away to spit it out again. "Dude, what the hell?!"

"You still don't listen to me," he raises his voice.

"Doesn't mean you can fucking gag my mouth! What the fuck?"

"Turn your head back."

"I'm not gonna do that. Keep my mouth free. I need to be able to say no."

"There's no saying no today, Oscar." I go silent. A cold fear drives through me all of a sudden. "Turn your head now."

"Wait," I say. "You... you're not gonna do anything I don't want, right?"

Blair grabs my chin and pulls my head back. I keep my mouth closed, so he pushes it open with his fingers and stuffs that thing deeper so I can almost feel it in my fucking throat and have to cough. "Only what you asked me for."