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Chapter 17

My heart drops when I hear the click on the line. "Harris."

"Dad?"

"Oscar?"

"Yes," I laugh. "Hey, Dad. It's me." I let out a relieved breath when he laughs too. My shoulders relax a little.

"It's been so long since I heard your voice! How are you?"

"I'm... fine, thanks." My father is probably the only one in my family who's really serious about that question. Who really just wants to know how things are going and is just happy I call without asking why. "Is Maddie at home right now?"

"Yeah yeah, she's sitting in the living room and watching some movie. Do you want to speak to her?"

"What about David? Is he with her?"

"No, David just left. I think he wanted to meet a friend."

I hear a high-pitched, distant voice. "Who's that?"

"Oscar," my father says. "He wants to speak to you."

"Oscar!" Maddie almost yells into the phone. "Hi!"

"Hey, Maddie," I just have to smile when I hear her happy voice and I feel like a burden's been lifted off me. What a relief. "Can you talk freely right now?"

"Wait!" I hear loud steps, then a door. "I'm in my room now."

"Why did you call me a few days ago? My phone was broken. I couldn't reach you."

"Oh," she says. "Your phone is broken? How do you call me then?"

"I got a new one."

"Oh," she says again. Then she's quiet.

I tense up. I'm still sitting in the break room, and luckily, I'm alone for now. But talking about something this serious will never be easy. For anyone. Still, I do it anyway, because I'm fucking scared for her and hoping for a positive answer. "Maddie," I start carefully. "What's wrong? Did something happen?"

"No. Nothing."

I close my eyes and exhale softly. Of course it's not that easy. She must be so scared—I still remember how that felt. "Look, you can talk to me, bug. About anything. Always."

Maddie just gives a low "mh" in response, then falls silent. And the silence kills me. It just brings the memories back. Memories of closing doors and tight grips. Maybe I should go to the police. But the last time I did that...

"Oscar," Maddie suddenly says. "David said I shouldn't tell you anything." I close my eyes and recall his words and that sick, always-sweet voice. It's our secret. Don't ruin it again.

Shit. That disgusting feeling crawls up my throat again. Stop thinking, Oscar. You have to be there for her now. "Don't worry about David, okay? I'll take care of him, yeah?" Well, as soon as I stop being the coward I am. "Maddie, did he hurt you?"

"No."

I take a deep breath. Maybe that's true. Maybe I'm just imagining things. Or maybe I'm just trying, once again, to forcefully convince myself that everything's okay. "Did he touch you?"

"No."

"You don't wanna tell me?"

Of course not. David probably found his own sick way to manipulate her. God, I'm on the verge of throwing up. It feels like my stomach is boiling over. I don't want to talk about this shit anymore. 

"I'm sorry, Oscar..."

"No, it's okay," I say softly, putting my hand on my face. I don't want to pressure her. I no longer know what's right or wrong. What do I do now? "Just... You know, you don't have to listen to him. You can say no, even if he's older. And you should really tell Mom or Dad." Silence. "I'm here for you, okay? And you can come by anytime if you want."

"Oscar?" She sounds tearful.

I hold my breath. "Yeah?"

"Why are you not coming home anymore?"

I try to pull myself together. But what should I say? The truth? Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea after all. But she can't know that I'm scared of him too. Maddie shouldn't be scared of him. That's what I wanted to show her—but how can I, when I actually am scared? "Do you want me to come over, Maddie?"

"I would love that! You could come over more often. If you want."

"Sure," I say even if everything in me resists it.

"We could watch a movie with Mom and Dad!"

"Great idea."

"Maybe... What do you think of tomorrow?"

I laugh a little, but my hands are sweating just at the thought of coming anywhere near that house. "Sure, why not? Will you ask Mom and Dad for me?"

"Awesome! Yes, I will! Then... see you tomorrow?"

"Yep. See you tomorrow then."

"See you, Oscar."

I put the phone down and bury my face in my hands. What the hell did I just do? Did I seriously just say yes to going back to that shithole? And already fucking tomorrow?

I try not to think about it, but I can already feel the pressing stomach aches coming. They start slowly at work, grow stronger as I drive home, and when I get home, I have to take a pain pill because I can't take it anymore. Just the thought of David anywhere near makes me feel sick.

My phone vibrates and I wake up from my fear.

9 pm?

"Shit!" I jump up and check the time. It's almost eight o'clock. I totally forgot about him out of sheer fear.

ok, I reply, and take a quick shower. I stumble out, hurriedly grab some fresh clothes, put them on, and check my phone as it vibrates again.

Put on the pajamas.

I sigh—loud and raw. Of course this has to happen now. I forgot that life still hates me, too.

can i take it with me and put it on when im there

He's just online and immediately starts typing.

No

You come to me dressed with it

wait

i can put something over right??

Glad you ask

No

dude

its f autumn

its cold

You can put on a jacket.

Come in time.

"Fucking asshole." I put my phone down and take a deep breath. My hands are shaking, but not because of David. The pit of fear in my stomach is still there, but now it mixes with something else—excitement. And this mix of fear and excitement isn't exactly pleasant. I take another pain pill, just to make sure I'll be able to function and do what I need to do before I leave.