Connect Us ✔

Chapter 46

I put Maddie to bed without thinking about where the three of us would sleep. Maybe we could all squeeze into the little single bed.

„What about you?" Maddie asked. „You're not going to sleep yet?"

„In a few minutes," I said to her, put a kiss on her forehead and covered her up.

I nodded Felix to the kitchen, knowing Maddie would hear every whisper and movement. „Your sister is cute," he whispered right next to me. I leaned against the kitchen counter, he right next to me. It was dark but I felt his warm thigh and his shoulder against mine.

Felix was still wearing his jacket, I could hear the rustling of his fabric as his hands folded in his lap. „Oscar," he said softly. „Why don't we go to sleep?"

„Is there a reason you're here?"

Felix tapped me with his knee. „You know why I'm here."

„I'm not sure. You could tell me to get sure."

He breathed a soft laugh. Then he let out a deep breath and suddenly just rested his head on my shoulder. I tensed a little. „I could fall asleep standing."

„It'll probably be uncomfortable," I whispered back. I rested my head on his. And we stayed like this for a while, I closed my eyes and we just let the time go by. It calmed me just to listen to his breath like he was about to fall asleep. His head moved up and down with my shoulder and I felt his head grow heavier. „Hey," I whispered and lifted my head again. „Don't fall asleep."

„I'm not," he smiled. „Just enjoying the moment."

„Really?" He nodded on my shoulder. „Where do we sleep?"

Felix lifted his head as well and rubbed his eyes. „I thought the bed would be suitable."

„Probably uncomfortable too."

„Then all we can do is sleep on the floor."

 Felix giggled a little too loud. „Shh!"

„Sorry," he whispered. 

„We could go through the night." I tried to find his eyes in the dark but he probably didn't even see me. „And talk."

I felt his hand sliding into mine. „About?"

When I crossed our fingers, Felix started stroking my hand. „About why you're here and not with your boyfriend."

He turned his head to me. „You wanna know?"

„Kind of."

„I thought you don't care about Blair."

„Well, I don't..." I care about you, I thought. And why you're here. The reason you want to stay overnight. Because you want to? Or because you have no other choice? Because you prefer me to your boyfriend? Or because I'm the second choice?

„Oscar." I turned my head to him. „Why do you hate Blair?"

I shrugged. „I guess I just don't like people in general."

„But you don't hate me, right?" My heart was beating a little faster. The feeling of his hand in mine and the way he said that... God, what would happen to us? Was this just a little fling next to his boyfriend or was he really interested? I didn't want it to be 'just a fling'. „And your sister. And probably more exceptions."

„I don't know. Now my turn. Why are you really here?"

„Blair has a date. And my family's not home."

I looked at him. My eyes got used to the darkness and I could see the outline of his face, the curls poking out, and his eyes. „You don't like that."

„I don't mind if he sleeps with someone else. But this is something different. He turns everything upside down just to have time for him. He did that with you too sometimes. I know we live together, but he never postponed so much for me."

„Are you jealous?"

„No." Felix snuggled his head into my neck again and then he was quiet for a few breaths. He suddenly lifted his head again then to look at me in surprise. „Am I?" he asked. „Am I jealous?"

„I don't know. Are you scared to lose him?"

„It's more that guy he's meeting." He took a breath. „Just... meaningless sleeping with each other was always okay for me. But I think I would hate Blair dating someone else."

„Why don't you tell him?"

„Because that would be unfair. He allows me to be with you too. And I don't want to give you up." My heart jumped when he squeezed my hand.

„But the other way around it's just as unfair."

„Hm?" I saw him lifting his head to look at me. Or look for me at least.

„You can't sleep with someone else while he can and he can't date someone else while you can. That would sound fair to me."

Instead of answering he changed the subject again. „Is it my turn now?"

„Wait." I looked to my sister. To the bed with a small heap. She didn't move. „Let's talk somewhere else."