Connect Us ✔

Chapter 46

I walk to the kitchen after having put Maddie to bed, thinking about where the three of us will even sleep. Maybe we can all cuddle all together. I wouldn't mind cuddling Felix. 

"Your sister is cute," he whispers right next to me. I lean against the kitchen counter. He leans in close beside me, his sleeve brushes mine. "Oscar," he starts, still wearing his jacket; I hear the rustle of fabric as he folds his hands in his lap. His shoulder is almost touching mine. "Why don't we go to sleep?"

I exhale deeply. "Well, I have no idea where we should sleep." I don't want to sleep. I want to hide with him somewhere and make out until I forget where my body ends and his begins.

"How about the bed?"

"Great plan. Until one of us rolls over."

He chuckles softly, and I stare at him. Did I just imagine that sad look? Or is he just good at pretending?

"Is there... a reason you're here?"

Felix nudges me with his knee. "You know why I'm here."

To make out again? If that's the reason, then yeah, I know. But I can't shake the feeling there's more behind it. "Yeah, not exactly sure. Better tell me, just in case."

"So you really want me to spell it out for you."

"Yes, please."

He smiles at me. And this time, it looks real. His eyes flick down to my lips, just briefly, then back to my eyes. "I like you, Oscar. A lot."

The world narrows. My pulse stumbles. He's so close I could count his freckles if I dared look straight at him. "What are we gonna do about that?"

He laughs bashfully. His eyes dart away, cheeks tinged pink as he turns his face from me. "You're unbelievable."

"I like you too." My voice sounds strange. Too soft. Too cheesy. I don't like it. But I love the way he reacts to what I just said. That boy's freaking adorable when he blushes. Eyes on the floor, messy hair falling over his forehead, that shy smile that could belong to an angel. It warms something in my chest. "A lot. And I kinda wanna kiss you in the bathroom. Like, right now."

He looks up, startled, and for a second, something raw flickers in his eyes. He opens his mouth, then closes it again. Damn it. Did I go too far? "I..." Silence. He meets my eyes for a second, then looks away again. "Sorry, Oscar, not today."

"No, it's fine. I'm sorry. I guess I was a bit too honest."

"Look, I want it too, it's just..." He exhales deeply. "Not today, okay?"

I hesitate. Should I really say that? No. Yes. I'm saying it now. "Is it because of him?"

He furrows his brows. "What?"

"Did he say something? Like... did he forbid you or something?"

"Blair?" I just stare at him, no answer needed. Of course I'm talking about Blair. "No, Blair knows I'm here. We talked it through. He's okay with it."

"Is he now?"

"Well, never said he's comfortable with it, but he gave his okay."

"This is so ridiculous." The words burst out before I can stop them, anger rising like fire again. "I don't understand why he can fuck whoever he wants while you have to feel uncomfortable about being with me."

"It's not like that. He's just worried because..." He takes a deep breath. "I can't tell you, okay? Not yet. But there's a reason."

"Why were you sad?" He looks at me. "When I got here... you looked like you were crying. What happened? Did he hurt you?"

Felix blinks, then shakes his head like I just said something completely absurd. I know. I sound like I'm in the wrong movie. But if Blair hurt me, then maybe he could hurt Felix too. I don't want to portray myself as the shining knight who saves him—but hell, thinking about everything Blair's ever done to me, I'm really starting to worry he treats Felix the same way. Or worse.

"Oscar. Blair would never hurt me. Never. He's the nicest person I know."

I bite back a laugh but raise a brow. "You gotta be kidding me."

"Why?" he asks, his brows pulling together. "Did he hurt you?"

I fall silent. So he doesn't know. Of course he doesn't. Of course he didn't tell him. Of course not. Jesus, he's such an asshole. And the worst part is that Felix is falling for it—for his whole 'I'm a good person' act. Just like everyone always falls for my brother's charm.

"Can we not talk about that asshole right now? No offense. I just wanna know if you're okay."

"I'm fine. I just... had a bad day."

The silence stretches between us while I search his face, as if I could somehow read what he's not saying. "Wanna talk about it?"