Connect Us ✔

Chapter 20

I sat carefully on the edge of the bed and rubbed my arms. He came back with a wool cardigan and seriously wanted to put it around my shoulders. I moved away. „I can dress myself, thanks." I took the cardigan and cuddled up, the warmth enveloped me and I sighed contentedly.

„Tea?" He looked down at me, looked at me like I was going to break down any moment. I shook my head. Then he carefully sat next to me. „Why didn't you stop?" He started in a low voice. „You must have noticed beforehand that something's wrong."

„Isn't that obvious?" I asked. „I wanted this money."

„Sweetheart, you don't have to say yes to everything just because I'm giving you money. You can say no, you know?"

„Of course I could've said no. But I thought it was fine." He ran his hand through his hair, looked pretty upset, and I thought about what I said to Maddie and felt awful. You don't have to say yes to anything just because he's older...

„Why don't we talk about what the problem was. Maybe we can find another way. I can still give you the money."

„It doesn't matter. I needed it today. And I said I'm only doing it for this event."

„You're evading, Oscar. Let me decide whether it matters or not."

„What if I don't want to talk? It's private."

He stood up. „I'm sorry, but I can't help you then, Oscar." He walked into the kitchen and something inside of me flinched. There was no getting around it. I didn't want to force myself to speak, but it couldn't be that bad. They were just words.

„I hate it," I said in a low voice and he stopped. I wrapped the cardigan tighter around me. „I hate... any kind of interaction with it. I mean, when I see it, or touch it with my hands. Or... smell it." I shivered. „I just don't want to have it any near me."
He turned around and looked at me. „What is it?"

„I'm pretty sure you know exactly what I'm talking about."

„I would like to avoid further misunderstandings. You're talking about cocks, right?"

„God..." I hid my face behind my hands. „Yes."

„Only when you interact?"

„I... guess so."

„Okay." He looked thoughtful, then he nodded slowly. „Now was that so hard?" I rolled my eyes. „Anything else I should know?"

„Not that I know."

„Are you sure?" He sounded very serious this time. „Think before you answer."

„I... can't really think clearly right now."

„Alright," he said, then walked into the kitchen and came back with his phone and tapped it around.

I looked at him confused. „What are you doing?"

„Making a contract."

„What? Wait, what?" I stood up and walked to him. „There's no need... I said I'm not gon–"

„Oscar, relax" he said, still tipping. „We'll find a comfortable solution for both of us. A contract isn't binding, it's all about the rules. You can quit anytime, but I can't just give you that much money."

„What... I am so confused right now."

„It's not that complicated." He didn't even look at me while talking. „We're gonna meet after today. If it's after days or weeks, it doesn't matter. If not you'll give me back the money someday."

„No," I said. „It's over from today. I'm not gonna do this."

„Do you want the money?" He looked up from his phone.

„I... We can still do it now. I could take a shower."

„Get that out of your head right now. You will first take a break and think about where your limits are. Until then I won't lay a finger on you."

„I know exactly where my limits are."

„Apparently not."

„I had to do it for the money."

„There's nothing you have to, Oscar. Arrangements can be made about anything. You just need to talk and change that stupid mindset that there's no other way. There's always another way."

He had a point. And it made me mad how right he was. I knew my limits, but my mindset was really a little twisted. Kind of like Maddies. „Fine," I said. „Then let's talk about how you boss me around all day. I hate that too."

He raised an eyebrow. „You hate that?"

„I hate that you always give the orders."

„You wanna give the orders?"

I shrugged. „Sometimes, yes."

„I'd love to see that."

„Fine."

„Great. What else?"

„I hate not being allowed to berate you when I'm angry."

He laughed. „Oh no, we're not gonna do that."

„Why?"

„There's a good reason for this rule."

„You can't be that sensible."

„That's not the reason."

„I hate that I have to tell you everything and you don't."

„Such as?"

„I always have to tell what's on my mind and when I get hard or whatever. You even made me tell you why I get hard and what I imagine and when it comes to you, you just hang up."

„Alright. Ask me and I'm gonna tell you."

„And I hate this stupid pajamas."

„Oh you don't hate that," he laughed.

„I hate that you make me do embarrassing things all the time."

„You love to get embarrassed, Oscar."

„But I hate to get forced."

„It's always done or quit. It was your decision."

He was right, but I was still angry. Even more than before, because everything he said was true. It was driving me crazy. „It was always 'you want the money or not?'"

„And here's the real problem," he said. „You have to respect yourself, Oscar. That's more important than money. I respect your limits, but there's no point if you don't accept them too."

„I really want this money."

„Are you gonna die if you don't get it?"

I hesitated. „No."

„Then it's not more important than yourself." He put his phone away and from a distance I could hear the steady swooshing of a printer. „If you really don't want to do something, you have to tell me clearly and we will find a solution. You can quit an order and still get the money. Just talk."

„I don't want a contract." He just looked at me. „We can have rules, but I'm not gonna sign a contract."

He sighed and put his hands on his hips. „I don't know how we can work around this. I can't just transfer hundreds of pounds to you without a contract. What's the problem? Are you afraid I might hold onto you with a contract?"

„Something like that."

„Why don't we just sit down and talk about every point in the contract. Would that help?"

I looked away. „I don't know, maybe?"

„Alright." He ran out of the room, came back with a sheet of paper, and sat on the edge of the bed. „Then that's what we're gonna do now."