Connect Us ✔

Chapter 39

It's possible that my heart stops beating when Felix opens the door. My chest tightens so suddenly it's almost painful, like my heart is trying to climb up my throat. He looks different. He's wearing wide pants that almost look like a long skirt and a crop top. A fucking crop top. I can see his stomach. And now I'm wondering if he dressed up because of me.

"Hey," he smiles. God damn it, I really just want to kiss that smile.

"Hey." When he walks back in I take a deep breath and roll my shoulders. Just. Fucking. Relax. I notice a strong, sweet smell as I follow him into the kitchen. "What's that smell?"

"Lemon cake," he says, pulling out a tray with a round, light brown cake from the oven. With these pink oven gloves. My eyes catch on the bare skin around his waist before I can stop it, and heat crawls up my neck. The way his spine moves when he leans toward the oven makes my brain short-circuit. I want to fucking touch him.

He puts the tray down on the kitchen counter, and I realize I'm standing there like an idiot. I shake my head, trying to shake some stupid thoughts away. God damn it, pull yourself together, Oscar. Don't be so obvious. "Do you want a piece too?"

I look at him. "Hm?"

"Lemon cake?" He's chewing already. Guess he really just couldn't wait...

"Sure." I sit down at the table, and my thoughts drift away again. Is the reason he said Blair isn't here because he wants to be alone with me or because he knows I don't want anything to do with Blair privately? 

I realize what's different about him when I watch him cut the cake. The left half of his hair is pinned back, the other half falls in curls over his forehead. He's definitely done his hair, and it makes him look older somehow—or, well, more his age at least. The little curl that's fallen over his forehead—it shouldn't matter, but it does. It's ridiculous how something that small can make my pulse jump.

"Did you go out?"

He turns to me with two plates, sets one down in front of me, and sits next to me with his one leg bent. "Yeah," he says and takes a bite. "I went to my favorite restaurant a few hours ago, but the waiter was an asshole, so I decided to just cook at home. There's still something left. Are you hungry?" He looks like he's about to jump up.

I shake my head. "Why was he an asshole?"

"Mhh..." I stare at the crumbs around his mouth. One sticks to the corner of his lip. I focus on looking into his eyes. I really try. "I know there are vegetarian options there, but the waiter said no. I asked if he could bring me anything without meat. He said yes, so I trusted him. But I noticed from the first bite that it was meat."

"You're vegetarian?"

He nods and looks at my plate. "You don't wanna try it? It's really good."

I take the little yellowish piece into my hand. I put it back again. I'm not hungry after training. Not for cake, anyway. "Were you with your boyfriend?"

Felix shakes his head. "I planned to go with my friend. But he had to go to the hospital, so I went to the restaurant alone. I mean, nothing happened. He's having a little brother. His mother... I think you know what I mean."

Okay, hang on. Is Felix nervous? That is so freaking cute. "You went to a restaurant alone?"

"Mhm."

"Why?"

"Why not?"

"I don't know. Is there a reason you didn't go with your boyfriend?"

"He's not here."

"Yeah, I mean, on another day."

"Because today's my birthday."

"Wait, what?" I ask surprised. "Why didn't you say something?"

He eats up the last piece. "I didn't want you to come around just because it's my birthday. You're not gonna eat it?"

"Yes. No. Wait, why didn't your boyfriend just take some time off? Did he forget your birthday?"

"Nah, Blair's not the type of guy who would forget my birthday." Well, I don't really care what type of guy he is, as long as he treats you right. And leaving you alone on your birthday... I'm ashamed of what I think. Part of me is hoping the story will go that way: Blair being the bad boyfriend, neglecting Felix. Me being the good guy who treats him right. Them breaking up in the end.

But Felix smiles—happily, in love, somehow proudly—leaning his head into his hand like he's dreaming. His eyes meet mine, and eventually he sits up straight. "Sorry. I know. None of your business."

"No, it's fine. But why isn't he here then?" Because he's a bad boyfriend...

"He's on a very important training course." Felix gets up and puts his dish into the dishwasher. "We've already discussed that we'll celebrate my birthday later." Of course. You wouldn't have invited me otherwise.

Then he stops in front of me, arms crossed, looking at me and I wonder what he's thinking right now. I want to look into his head. I also want to touch his head. I want to touch a lot of things. "Wanna watch a movie?"