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Chapter 39

It's possible that my heart stopped beating when Felix opened the door. He looked different. He wore wide pants which almost looked like a long skirt and a crop top. A fucking crop top. I tried not to stare at the line of naked skin between pants and top.

„Hey," he smiled. I really just wanted to kiss that smile.

„Hey." When he walked back in I took a deep breath and rolled my shoulders. Just. Fucking. Relax. I noticed a strong, sweet smell as I followed him into the kitchen. „What's that smell?"

„Lemon cake," he said, pulling out a tray with a round, light brown cake from the oven. With these pink gloves. I couldn't stop staring at him. The bare skin on his back was covered by a cardigan and I realized that I had this cardigan on before. Back when I was here alone with Blair. Holy shit, that was the first time I used his name in my head! Crazy what Felix did to me.

„You can just sit, Oscar." He put the tray down on the kitchen counter and I realized I stood there like an idiot. I shook my head, shook some stupid thoughts away. God damn it pull yourself together, Oscar. Don't be so obvious. „Do you want a piece too?"

I looked at him. „Hm?"

„Lemon cake?" He was chewing already. Guess he really just couldn't wait.

„Sure." I sat down at the table and I drifted away again. Was the reason he said that Blair wasn't here because he wanted to be alone with me or because he knew I didn't want anything to do with Blair privately? I realized what was different about him when I watched him cut the cake. The left half of his hair was pinned back, the other half fell in curls over his forehead. He had definitely done his hair. And it made him look older somehow. Or, well, more his age at least. „Did you go out?"

He turned around with two plates, put down one in front of me and sat with his own next to me, one leg bent. On the table his boyfriend had fucked me last time. Funny. „Yes," he said and took a bite, continued speaking with a full mouth, but covered his mouth with his hand. „I went to my favorite restaurant a few hours ago but the waiter was an asshole so I decided to just cook at home. There's still something left. Are you hungry?" He looked like he was just about to jump up.

I shook my head. „Why was he an asshole?"

„Mhh..." I stared at the crumbs around his mouth. I concentrated to look into his eyes. I really tried. He swallowed before speaking again. „I know there are vegetarian options there, but the waiter said no. I asked him if he could bring me a dish without meat. He said yes, so I trusted him. But I noticed from the first bite that it was meat."

„You're vegetarian?"

He nodded and looked at my plate. „You don't wanna try it? It's really good."

I took the little yellowish piece into my hand. I put it back again. I wasn't hungry after training. „Were you with your boyfriend?"

Felix shook his head. „I planned to go with my friend. You know, the straight guy I told you about last time. But he had to go to the hospital, so I went to the restaurant alone. I mean, nothing happened. He's having a little brother. His mother... I think you know what I mean."

I was thinking that maybe Felix was a little nervous too. Or was he just always talking that much? I found that extremely cute. „You went to a restaurant alone?"

„Mhm."

„Why?"

„Why not?"

„I don't know. Is there a reason you didn't go with your boyfriend?"

„He's not here."

„Yeah, I mean, on another day."

„Because today's my birthday."

„Wait, what?" I asked surprised. „Why didn't you say something?"

He ate up the last piece and gathered the plates. „I didn't want you to come around just because it's my birthday. You're not gonna eat it?"

„Yes. No. Wait, why didn't your boyfriend just take some time off? Did he forget your birthday?"

„Nahh Blair's not the type of guy who would forget my birthday." I don't really care what type of guy he is, I thought, as long as he treats you right. And leaving you alone on your birthday... I was ashamed of what I though. I sort of was hoping for the story to go in this direction: Blair being the bad boyfriend, neglecting Felix. Me being the good guy who treats him right. They both breaking up in the end.

But Felix grinned, happily, in love, somehow proudly. „Not him. He's even using my birthday as his code." I wasn't sure if I wanted to know that. But I did remember clearly what the code of his replacement phone was. 3010. The thirtieth of October. Oh my god. I entered it about a thousand times. „Sorry," he said, shaking his head. „I know. None of your business."

„No, it's okay. But why isn't he here then?" Because he's a bad boyfriend...

„He's on a very important training course." Felix stood up and put the dishes into the dishwasher. „We've already discussed that we'll celebrate my birthday later." Of course. You wouldn't have invited me otherwise.

Felix stood in front of me, arms crossed, looking at me and I wondered what he was thinking right now. I wanted to look into his head. I also wanted to touch his head. I wanted to touch a lot of things. „Should we watch a movie?"

I raised a brow. „Really?"

„Only if you want to."

„Do you want to?"

Felix grinned again. „I'm not a big movie watcher, but I'll make an exception for you today."