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Chapter 31

I was in the kitchen, opening a bottle of beer and thinking about what a terrible brother I was when he called. „I think I don't have to tell you that this is not a good moment."

„How's your sister?"

I took a look at her from afar. „She's better now. She calmed down. Watching some movie."

„Didn't you have training at eight, Oscar?"

„I skipped it for today."

„Oscar Harris skipped training," he said. „Wow. You must really adore your little sister."

„None of your business anymore. Why are you calling?"

„Alright. Straight to the point. Did you see her legs?"

„No. Why? Do you think it could be something serious?"

„Well, she said it's the worst on her legs, I don't know how bad she means. I can't see clairvoyance. It could be everything. It could be nothing. It could be psychological stress. I once had a patient who scratched her arms and legs until they were bleeding. It had nothing to do with an illness anymore, but with her mental state. Mental stress often shows physically. I don't know how it is with your sister. It could also just be an allergy. But then she would probably have a rash. The dermatologist will know better."

„Okay," I said slowly. „That... patient you had. Did she get better?"

„She went to a therapist after seeing me. Unfortunately, I don't know more than this. But she didn't come back."

„Okay." I looked at Maddie while he talked. She just sat there in front of my laptop and watched her movie. She wasn't scratching herself in moments like that. She said it got better when she was distracted. „Do you think the cause could be a traumatic experience?" I asked carefully.

„Definitely. But I'm not a therapist."

I took a deep breath. „Okay. I'm hanging up now."

„You're welcome, Oscar."

„Thanks. Bye."

Maddie was sitting at the head of the bed where the pillows were and I carefully sat down at the foot of the bed. She looked up from the laptop and I looked at her apologetically. „Will you forgive me?" Maddie wiped her nose because it was still running from crying, but she nodded and looked back at the movie. I tapped her with my foot and she looked back at me. „May I sit next to you?"

Maddie looked at her fingers. „Only if you forgive me too..."

„Of course, sweetheart!" I sat next to her and we watched the movie together to the end, even if I could hardly concentrate.

whats in the bag? I wrote when I was home after driving her home. Then I looked around my apartment and remembered that he must have seen all of this. The pile in the sink in the kitchen. All the dirty dishes that were scattered around the apartment because I couldn't bring them into the kitchen. The worn out boxes, some so frayed that they were close to tip over and become one with the mess. And all the clothes... Felix would be shocked, I thought, hoping he wouldn't tell him. I was ashamed.

Tomorrow

im alone now...

So what?

What are you doing tonight?

u know the answer

Same time?

no

going to training right after work

Are there days you're not training?

sunday and when i take a day off

can i look into the bag?

No

Keep Sunday free

No sex until then

from tomorrow?

From now on Oscar

but i didnt do anything wrong?!

It's not a punishment

why r u doing this to me

If you want to know just ask properly

please tell me why ur so mean to me

I read the news from the dance group chat and felt like shit. I hadn't been to training for two days and all I thought about was sex. What the fuck was wrong with me? I got up and threw the clothes on the floor into the bathroom at least. I turned on some music and made the dishes. Halfway. Stopped when I was distracted by the music and then stopped for good. I think I danced like an idiot in my room for almost ten minutes. Slipped on things on the floor. Stumbled up again and got me a beer. I only read his message when I opened the window and heard people partying in the streets. More or less. Just drunk people.

1. I like to see you suffer

2. You're hot when you're desperate

3. Hungry sex is better

what r u wearing

Wow you must be really bored

haha

can u tell me

please

You first

wait i have to take my clothes off before i tell u

Funny

I put my phone down and got up. It took me a while to find it, but I put it on and stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom. I wasn't even drunk when I took the picture in the pajama, my hips bent, my leg put forward. I didn't even know I could be so feminine. Apparently I could. Well, if you really want something ... I sent him the picture. He wasn't online anymore so I opened another beer and smoked a cigarette. But as soon as my phone vibrated I looked at it again.

And it was the group chat. I sighed. I lay down on my bed. Opened TikTok, closed it again. Opened my browser. Been a while since I watched something.