Connect Us ✔

Chapter 61

you did that on purpose didnt you?

thanks

You deserve it.

not at all

i didnt get any further

Don't be so hard on yourself Oscar

You're trying your best

A small reward should motivate you to keep going

it's more like torture at this point

damn i miss him sm

After a quick shower, I make myself a coffee, hair still wet, dripping onto my phone as I check it. I've still got an hour before work. Maybe I'll text Felix. Maybe—

Maybe I don't have to. The top bar lights up. A new message. For a second, my chest flutters. Then I see it's not WhatsApp. It's a fucking SMS.

Hello Oscar, this is your father. I don't know if you have my new number

My father's an easy person. He says what he thinks, and most of the time, what he thinks isn't bad. You can read him like an open book. Nothing hidden, no surprises. Sometimes his honesty makes him seem careless, but I've learned that's just him. And compared to my mother, at least with him, I never have to doubt he loves me. He loves me in his own quiet way.

hey dad. dont you have whatsapp?

I sit there, sipping my coffee, losing myself in thoughts and memories of Felix. And, well, imagination. How would it even feel? To have sex like that. And to have sex with someone like him? Can it even happen? Is it treatable, or is that part of him gone for good?

Maybe I should look it up. Or just ask a doctor. Aka Blair. Okay. I better not talk to Blair about sex with Felix.

I blink, realizing I've drifted off again. When I check my phone, I'm almost late. Still, before I rush, I quickly answer my father's new message.

I only use Telegram

is something wrong? I answer, knowing that literally everything is wrong in his family. Well, besides him. why are you texting me? you never text me. not that i have a problem with that.

He still hasn't answered when I finally get home from work that day, so I text Maddie instead, asking if she's okay, hoping she'll answer this time. Surprisingly, she answers right away.

hey maddie

how are u?

Oscar I'm so sorry...

for what?

that i didn't say anything... and that i told mom something... she really wanted to know, she was just interested in you

Well, interested in fucking me up, just trying to find more things to blame me for. She probably saw how devastated Maddie was when I brought her home and immediately made up her own story, started questioning her. Honestly, I don't care about what happened to me anymore, but I really blame my mother for being partly responsible for what's happening in her own home. She's so busy blaming me that she doesn't even see Maddie. And that makes me so furious. Because I didn't do anything wrong. And I can't even explain it to her, because she'd just twist everything again. It's so frustrating.