Connect Us ✔

Chapter 45

I'm not sure how long Felix and I just lie there and kiss and touch and just enjoy the moment. Obviously I'm hard, and even more obviously I want him—I finally want to know how it feels. To have him. To have a boy. But when he says, "I can help you," I stop it. Guess we both have our problems we don't want to talk about yet. It kind of hurts that he doesn't trust me that much yet, but I can fully relate. I'm not comfortable either to tell him about all my traumas.

He leaves very late that night. Around midnight. Miki is already tired and apparently she has fallen asleep in the kitchen while Felix and I were making out—thank god. Not that I have a problem with Miki. I'm just happy we didn't get interrupted.

After work I go to pick up Maddie. We chill in my apartment for a couple of hours, then she comes to training with me. And I never expected her to be that happy just sitting there and watching us dance. Michelle and Robin talk and laugh with her on our way out and I'm close to asking Michelle and Robin to come home with us. 

Then my phone vibrates. I pick up, still hearing my sister laugh in the background. "Felix?"

"Hey," he says, his voice echoing a little and I can very obviously hear that he's smiling.

"Hi." I can't help but smile, too. So much that my cheeks start burning.

"Are you not home?"

I shoulder my bag and get my helmet ready to go. "Not yet. Why?"

"I... guess I kinda expected you to be home." He laughs a little. I'm not sure if he sounds nervous or if he just wants to hide something.

"Did you wanna come over? That late?"

He hesitates for a few seconds. "I... Actually I was gonna ask if I can stay overnight..."

My heart drops—ten feet down for sure. "Oh." I blink, trying not to think about what that... means. Did he want to... do it, or... just sleep?

"You can say no if you don't want that yet."

"No. I mean, yes. I... would want to. I just... I have to take my sister home first. When are you there?" I'm suddenly so tense. If he wants to stay over, does that mean he'll sleep next to me? In my bed? And does Blair know that?

"I'm... already here..."

"Oh." I look at my sister who is having a group hug with Michelle and Robin, and somehow I feel really happy. "I'll be there in five."

I hang up. I don't even think about why he's already there. Maybe something happened. Maybe it doesn't matter. I dial the next number. I call. My mother answers immediately. "Osc—"

"Mom, I have to go home right now. It's an emergency. Kind of. Either I'll bring Maddie home later than I should, or she'll stay overnight." I'll bring Maddie too late anyway. But I really want to go home before driving her home. I don't want Felix to wait in the cold.

I hear my mother take a deep breath. "You're unbelievable," she says. "It's almost eleven. She has to go to school tomorrow."

I know it's kind of mean, and seeing Maddie that happy with Robin and Michelle is such a relief for me. But I really, really want to be alone with Felix. I'd be happy to take her home otherwise, but today... I'm hoping my mother will say no. And I'm expecting it. My mother doesn't often say yes.

"That's the point. If she stays with me she'll go to sleep soon and I can bring her to school tomorrow. If not it'll be very late until she's finally in bed."

"Fine," she says, pissed off. "Let her sleep at your place, but she'll go to sleep immediately. And this is an exception, do you understand? Next time get your business done before you pick her up. Get her to school in time and give her a decent breakfast at least."

Jesus. Does she think I'm poor? Okay, maybe I am. Kind of. "Maddie," I say. "Wanna stay over?"

Felix is standing in the stairwell when I come up with Maddie and she looks up at him, confused, then at me. Felix smiles at her, and when he looks into my eyes I'm sure something is wrong. It's like only his mouth is smiling, his eyes aren't smiling with him. His eyes don't sparkle like they always do, and they're red-rimmed, as if he's been crying. But maybe he's just tired. It's very late for normal people and... well, Felix seems very much like normal people.

I scratch the back of my head. "Uhm... Felix, this is Maddie, my sister. Maddie, Felix."

"Hey," Felix says to her and reaches out his hand. "Nice to meet you, Maddie."

Maddie takes his hand but she only smiles back while I open the door.