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Chapter 55

dickhead sent a video

pls tell me this is another dance vid of me

Watch till end

here we go again

When did you last have sex?

u asking as a doctor?

Funny

been a while

there was this asshole

he didnt let me come you know

I think u know him

am i banned again

Only until tonight

not me starting to hate u again

I don't believe you

can i use insults

Tonight.

perv

Tomorrow.

i dont believe u

I'm gonna let it slide this time

haha

someone must be horny too

Careful Oscar

Last warning

I watched the video. Got hard. Drank a coffee. I almost got used to it. Okay, I would never get used to this shit.

good lord

he looks like felix doesnt he

You have withdrawal symptoms

i am totally serious rn

is that why its one of ur favs?

bc he looks like felix?

You're just looking for a way to talk about him

Did you make effort with your brother?

gonna visit my sis after work tdy

ill probably see him there...

It burned my tongue to ask him about Felix. How he was doing. If he was asking about me. If he was still crying. If he already forgot me...

Finish him

I was trying not to think about it when I was at work. Pretending it was a normal work day. Immerse myself in other worlds again while I was tattooing my costumers. But I caught myself trying to keep my foot tapping nervously on the floor, which was really not an advantage in my job. It's good that nothing happened.

My hands were sweating as I stood in front of the door and I wiped them on my pants. I hesitated a moment, waited until I was ready. I would never be fully ready for this. I rang the doorbell.

My mother opened the door. „Oscar?"

„Hi Mom," I said and reached out to look behind her as if that would do something. „Can I see Maddie?"

My mother stepped away from the door. „Why didn't you write or call?" David wasn't here. At least not in the living room.

I exhaled the nervousness. „Sorry."

„Maddie's in her room."

„Is David here?"

„In the kitchen." I tensed up when I heard his voice. Looked to the kitchen door as he leaned on the doorway, chewing on something as if life was so easy for him. „Hi Os," he said calmly. „How are you doing?" Always acting like the nice and perfect son.

I turned around without answering him. While I walked up the stairs I cursed myself, remembering what Blair had said. Show him you're not afraid to yell out what he's doing. I stood in front of Maddie's door. Don't be scared. You're not a weak kid anymore. I looked over to the right door. My old room door. Shook my head, shook away the memories and knocked on Maddie's door. 

Maddie didn't answer so I entered carefully. „Maddie?" It was dark in her room. Only a small light burned at the socket on the door. Her table was messy. Looked like she'd just been brooding over her homework. „Maddie?" I asked again. Only then the small heap on her bed raised and she sat up. „Hey," I said softly and sat next to her. „How are you, Sweety?"

It looked like she was listening to music and probably nodded off while doing so. She pulled out her headphones and pulled her legs up to her. Smiled a little. „I'm okay."

„Are you?" My hand reached out for her messy hair, only intending to brush it out of her eyes.

Maddie flinched. And I paused and studied her face. „I'm really okay," she hurried saying as if she wanted to fill the sudden silence.

I slowly took my hand back. She had never flinched before just because I wanted to touch her. She had never slid away on the mattress to be as far away from me as possible. We literally slept in one bed every time she had been at my place, she never had a problem. This was something else. Something had changed. „Why didn't you answer?" I asked. „I was worried."

She looked at her fingers. In the dark I could only vaguely see the red spots and the rash on her hands. „I'm sorry, Oscar..."

„It's okay, don't worry about it." I tried to read it in her eyes. In her actions. Everything in me was reluctant to ask. And the fear of the answer tore me apart. „Maddie," I started slowly, thinking about standing up because she looked so uncomfortable how she squeezed away at the end of the bed. „Did something happen?"

Maddie didn't answer. She looked away, fled my gaze. After a while she shrugged.

„If you can't tell me," I asked, „can you answer my questions?" She nodded. „Did David touch you again?" A slow nod. „Did he do more?" She shrugged again. „Did he..." The words got stuck in my throat. I swallowed the lump, remembering how Maddie reacted when I asked her to take off her pants back then. „Did he take off your clothes?" Maddie hid half of her face behind her knees. Then she nodded. „Did you say no, Maddie?" Another nod. „Did he hurt you? After you said no?" She buried all her face in her knees and her shoulders started twitching. She sobbed.

I stood up. My hand on my mouth. My teeth clenched because I wanted to pull myself together. I was overcome with nausea. My brain swirled. I would have never thought David could go that far. That was the limit. I wouldn't let him go further. Finish him, I remembered when the fury made me numb and I clenched my fists.

„Maddie," I said and turned around to her. „Let's go. We're gonna make him stop now."