Connect Us ✔

Chapter 34

Felix and I talk and clean for the whole day—or what's left of it. We finish the dishes, clean the kitchen, and Felix helps me do my laundry while I start cleaning up my bed, piled with clothes, a charger, headphones, and bits of trash.

We talk about rational things, but for some reason, every piece of information he feeds me is strangely fascinating to me. Like his cleaning addiction and how everything's already spotless when he comes home. He tells me he thinks that he—yes, I still refuse to use his name—sometimes intentionally leaves things untidy so that Felix can clean them up, knowing it feels mentally healing to him. I'm not sure if I want to know this.

One fact I still find crazy is that he's already living with Blair, even though he's only nineteen. I mean, I moved out at eighteen too, but I don't think that's normal. So now I'm really curious: why? Does he also have problems with his family? Is he okay? God, I want to know everything about him.

When Felix asks me if I have any siblings, I tell him a little about Maddie and my older sister who's studying in France. I don't tell him anything about David. Too early. But I ask if he gets along with his brother. He barely has any contact with him. His closest bond is with his mother, but that's it. He doesn't share more. I'm not sure if that's because there isn't more to share—or because it's too early for him to trust me with the real shit, too.

Somehow, we end up talking about why he is mad at me, and I notice that Felix always shuts down when I talk about sex. It's not like he changes the subject—he just reacts less, his eyes avoid mine, like he doesn't have anything to say about it. Maybe he's a virgin? I mean, he's quite young, so it's possible. But there's no way he's a virgin while being in a relationship with someone like him, right? I mean, come on. No way.

"But you're okay with our type of relationship, right?" I ask him when I notice that, just to make sure.

He nods. "Sure. I have no problem with that."

"Really?"

He tilts his head thoughtfully. "To tell you the truth, it was kinda my idea."

"What?" I furrow my brow. "Really?" He nods. "But you said you're not doing the same, right? You're not sleeping with anyone besides him?"

Felix holds up a shirt he just pulled out of a box, looking at it as if he's checking for stains. "Nope."

"I'm so confused," I say, but stop when I see he doesn't really want to talk about it.

When it's getting dark outside, I tell him I have to go to training, and we end up talking about dancing for probably another ten minutes. His eyes sparkle when I talk about my dance competition. Well, my eyes probably sparkle too, because I'm really proud of the choreography we created.

Eventually, he says, "I have to go too. Blair's probably been home for a while."

"You won't tell him you were here?"

"I told you he knows," he smiles.

"Oh. Yeah, right. I just... he got so angry when I mentioned you back then."

Felix looks down, a smile tugging at his lips, then back at me. There's nothing shy about it. His eyes are fucking blatantly flirting with me. "You mentioned me?"

"Uhm... yeah, just... kind of."

This stupid smile lightens up his face again, before he breaks out into a chuckle again. "Cute." I really don't know why I stop breathing. Maybe it's the way he looks at me—like he knows exactly what he's doing. It hits deep in my stomach. Too strong.

He's flirting, god damn it. Fucking hell, he's so obviously flirting with me.

"Bye, Oscar," he says and I realize I've been staring at him like an idiot. Probably blushing as well. "See you next time."

I close the door when he's gone. I stand by it for probably more than a minute, replaying every word he just said. He said next time. There will be a next time?

God damn it. He's got me bad. I'm head over heels.