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Chapter 56

I can't just smuggle Maddie into the police station. Before that, I have to pass my parents. And David. Maddie walks slowly after me as I run down the stairs. The first who looks us up and down is my father, who is in the living room. "Where are you two going?" I wish this could just pass him. All this. I don't even know what I'm going to say, but I'm determined.

I don't answer my father. I walk to the corridor with Maddie and ask her to put on her jacket and shoes. That's when my mother comes out of the kitchen. "Oscar?" she says, panic in her voice. Of course she panics. Of course. Her bad son wants to kidnap her daughter. "Where do you think you're going without asking me?"

Save Maddie, I think to myself, but I don't know what to say when David comes out of the kitchen too, silently watching the scene before him. "Maddie and I are going to the police."

"And what exactly for?" my mother asks. My father joins us from the living room. "Stop," she says when Maddie wants to put on her scarf. "Stop it. Take your shoes and jacket off, Maddison. You're not going anywhere."

Maddie listens to her mother, and I kind of panic. I take a deep breath. Don't be scared, I remind myself, not knowing why it calms me so much. I'm not a weak kid anymore.

"Maddie, can you tell Mom why you're crying?" I look at Maddie, but of course she stays silent. Yes, Maddie. Me neither.

"Why don't you tell us, Os?" David asks, his eyebrows furrowed as if he were angry. "It's you who wants to take her to the police station. Maddie's a kid, she just follows you."

I take a step toward him, bile rising in my throat. Don't be scared... 

"Why don't you tell us, David?" I really don't want to look at him; everything in me screams as I fix my angry eyes on him. "Why don't you tell us what you did when we watched movies together on the weekends, when I was still a kid?"

David looks me straight in the eyes. "I don't do anything," he says. "You d—"

"I did?" I interrupt him. "I was a kid, David, I just followed you. I was nine years old. Nine years, damn it. A nine year old kid doesn't just suddenly feel like satisfying his brother because that's so. Much. Fun. And Maddie surely didn't want you to rape her." 

It's like back then when I yelled at Blair and Felix because I was so angry that I forgot the world around me. But this time I yell at someone who is fully aware of what he does. And talking about it openly doesn't only do something good for Maddie. As scared as I am, it feels like someone takes a burden from me.

"What is wrong with you?" My mother pushes me away from my brother. "Why would you say something like that? Are you gonna twist the whole situation again, just to push away what you did? I swear, Oscar, if you dare to touch Maddie ever again then I will be the one to call the police!"

"Me? You think I touched her? And how the hell would you get to that conclusion, Mom?"

"Oscar," my father says slowly. "Maddie told us you asked her to take off her pants when she was at your place." Maddie wrapped her arms around her body. 

I scoff in despair, shaking my head. How can they twist the whole situation again so that I look like the bad one? I'm not the bad one. Or am I? "Maddie suffered from itching. My friend is a doctor. He wanted to look at her legs."

"Are you listening to yourself?" my mother asks. "You asked her to take off her pants in front of a stranger who wanted to see her naked?"

"I..." I blink in confusion. Do I do that? Why does it sound so horrible? Is Maddie scared of me? Am I the bad one? No. I haven't done anything wrong. Besides forcing her to take off her pants...

I look helplessly at my mother. I don't know what to say. The lump in my throat finally makes the tears break out. I'm twelve again—a twelve-year-old kid hoping for the help of his mother. My voice is just a croak. 

"Mom, I..." I swallow to get my voice back. "I would never do this. I really want to help..."

I look at my father, who looks shocked. Not at David. At me. Because I said that? Because of what my mother said? "Dad?" None of them say anything. I'm alone in this.

I wipe away my tears and look at Maddie. Her eyes are red, carrying dark circles. "I know I'm not the best son." My voice is still shaky, but I have to do something. I have to say something. At least explain myself. "Maybe not the best brother. And I know that I don't have my life under control. But I would never hurt Maddie. I just wanted to help..."

"You're not helping at all," my mother says. "I already told you a thousand times, Oscar. You're not part of this household anymore. You should be happy I didn't call the police because you're still my son. Just go home, think about what you did, and sort out your own pathetic life instead of spreading terror here."

"Okay," I whisper and nod, pressing my lips together. "Okay." Then I leave.