Connect Us ✔

Chapter 44

Miki jumped on my bed, ran around me, reached out for me, sniffed at me while Felix was standing in the kitchen, humming softly and washing the dishes. Of course I told him he didn't have to. Of course he did it anyway. In the meantime I was busy trying to get along with this dog somehow. I really wasn't against pets, but I've never had any. I didn't even know how to handle them.

I took a sip of my beer. Miki watched me carefully. Then she tried to reach the bottle. I raised a brow and held it away from her. „Who does the dog belong to?"

„My family," he said from the kitchen. „Actually, I would even go this far and say she belonged to me. But I was living at home when I got her and when I moved out and wanted to take Miki with me, my brother was so sad. So I let them keep her." Felix walked out of the kitchen, drying his hands with a towel. „I was just taking her for a walk when you called me. Does she bother you?"

„No. She's...cute, I guess." Miki made herself comfortable on my lap and breathed loudly as I petted her. „Are you with your family while I'm with Blair?"

I saw him nod in the corner of my eye. „Mhm." And for a second I pictured out this stupid scene how he explained his family that he just came home so his boyfriend could... well, I didn't want to think about it right now.

„Did you talk to him yesterday?"

Felix carefully sat down next to me on the bed and looked at my hand as I petted Miki's back. „I'm sorry, Oscar," he said. „Look, Blair and I have rules. And these rules have always worked for us. And one of these rules is that we talk openly about everything, especially if it's about us."

I looked at him. „I mean, actually it was me who told him. Was he mad at you?"

„A little. But only because I didn't tell him." Felix sat cross-legged on my bed. „He was more worried. And maybe mad at you."

„Worried?" I asked. „Why worried? It's not like I was going to hurt you or something?" My brows furrowed. „What the hell does he think?"

„Subject change?"

I sighed. „Fine."

„Thanks." He smiled and he seemed relieved about it. He stayed briefly. The he stood up. Turned around again, leaned forward and put his lips on my cheek. His soft lips on my cheek. Just like that, without hesitation. „I'll do the laundry quickly, okay?" And he left me alone with a pounding heart.

I took a deep breath. I wiped my hands on my pants. Miki looked as confused as I did. I finished my bottle, leaned against the wall on my bed and checked my phone. A few messages in the dance group chat. A message of Maddie. Maddie!

Hi oscar, she had written. Do you maybe have time tomorrow?

of course!

wanna come over?

i can pick u up if u want

but i have training at 8

Maddie answered immediately.

Can I still?

sure!

Thank you ❤️❤️❤️

I just smiled at my phone when Felix came back. I put it away when he sat next to me again and looked at me as if there was something in his head. I looked back at him even more confused. „What?"

„All done," he said. „What am I supposed to do now that everything's clean?" My stomach filled with excitement when he glanced at my lips briefly.

„Uhm... Don't know, maybe..." Felix gently pulled the back of my head down and I closed my eyes. I moved forward automatically when I felt his lips on mine. Good lord, my heart was about to jump out of my throat when he moved his lips on mine with a soft sigh. And suddenly I felt his upper knee sliding on my thigh.

I kind of lost control of myself for a few seconds. I pushed myself over him. His body was so close to me, just below mine. I could feel him breathing on my own chest, his small body slightly moving up and down. Shit, I thought. Am I crushing him? Am I too heavy? Can he still breathe? Shit, why am I thinking about such things?

Felix was a soft kisser. And I let him be a soft kisser. I don't know, there was something about these tender kisses that was driving me crazy. Soft kisses. Soft lips. Soft touches. And I was going crazy about the way he always stroke me with his thumb, wherever he touched me. He softly lay his hand on my cheek. Then my chin. My shoulder. My hair. His hand was quite long in my hair before he lay his hand on my chest. Nothing of our movements were rough or hasty and still I was getting so hot.

I know we kissed pretty long. I know we literally made out. But we still haven't kissed with tongue yet up to that point and I had no idea why. Did he make me nervous? Was that why I hadn't made the move to kiss him properly yet? Did I somehow want to take this slow, or did I just take it slow because I thought Felix wanted it slow? I really wanted everything to be perfect for him.

Felix suddenly took my hand and he slid it under his sweater. „Touch me," he breathed on my lips. I touched the warm skin on his stomach. The soft skin on his back. On his waist. God, his skin was so tender. He opened his mouth when I moved my hand up his chest and I slipped out a moan when I could finally slide my tongue in. When I felt his grip around my neck tightening. God damn it, he was a thousand, million times better kisser than Blair. Or he was just kissing differently. More considerate. Rather passionate than hungry. I freaking loved the way he kissed.

He held my face with both his hands. I moved my hand down his chest. Crept up to his groin, then up again. I buried my fingers into the hem of his pants, not with the intention to take it off. Even if I wanted to. It was only brief that I buried my hand deeper into his pants, I don't know what I wanted to reach, but before I knew he grabbed it with a firm grip and led my hand away again.

I didn't feel stupid because he didn't want me to touch him there. It wasn't like that. No, there was another reason.

I broke away from him. „Why..."

„Don't," he whispered softly before I could even express my assumptions. He had his eyes closed. God, he looked like an angel in trance. „Don't mention it please..."

I stared at him with my unsteady breath. „You... You don't..."

„It's not what you think, Oscar." He opened his eyes lightly. He stroke my cheek again and smiled at me with this carefree smile. „It feels good."

„Felix... Are you..."

He softly put his fingertips on my mouth. „You're gonna destroy the moment." He ran his thumb over my lips and I shuddered. „Can you kiss my neck?"

I looked into his eyes. I wasn't quite sure about the meaning of all this, but who could say no if he asked like this? I moved my head down and kissed the crook of his neck which made him immediately lift his chin and inhale sharply. And exhale trembling. And bury his fingers in my hair. God and the way he sighed, how I loved that sound.

„I like that," he breathed when I sucked his skin softly and I wondered if Blair wasn't doing this for him. If he liked it that much... I put long kisses on his neck. I was fucking in love with the way he shivered with every little kiss. I kissed his jaw. His cheek, several times. I wanted to feel his lips again. But when I kissed his lips he started smiling so brightly I couldn't help but stop and stare. How happy he looks...

I kissed him and I felt his smile on my mouth. And I think that was when I understood a few more things that I was so confused about.

-

Well, Happy Valentine's day I guess 🍷