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Chapter 63

Everything around me went dark when I sat on the chair in front of all of these people. I took a deep breath and looked around. My father nodded to me with a smile from the audience. Blair was sitting on the right with Felix and I swallowed hard when I met Felix's eyes. He had no idea until now. Blair had kept his mouth shut.

„Please state your name for the court."

„Oscar Harris." Under the table I felt my hands starting to sweat and my shoulders tensing.

„Maddison Harris and David Harris are your siblings, is that correct?"

„Yes, sir."

„How are you currently employed?"

I hadn't seen my mother since the whole process, but when I said, „I work as a dance teacher in Manchester" I found her in the audience and looked straight into her eyes. I knew exactly how much she hated how I was dancing and I didn't give a damn about that now. I was proud, even thought it wasn't on my account. I glanced at Blair who gave me a smile, and at Felix who grinned and blew me a kiss.

„Manchester is far from your old home, isn't it?"

I shook my head. „It's just a ten minute drive. And I don't live at my parent's home anymore."

„How long have you been away from home?"

„Almost two and a half year."

„So how old were you? Only nineteen? Can you explain to us why you left your home so early?"

I hesitated. I wiped my hands on my pants, constantly, like a nervous gesture. „Because my brother abused me."

„When did that happen?"

„I... don't know exactly when it first happened."

„How often has that happened?"

My foot started tapping nervously on the floor. „Too often to count. I'm not sure."

„Can you give an approximate number?"

„It was pretty erratic. Sometimes once a week. Sometimes in a month. Sometimes several evenings in a row."

„Did he lock you up or force you to stay?"

„Not exactly."

The defense lawyer folded his hands. „Could you describe in more detail what he did?"

I took a deep breath. I could feel David's eyes on me in the courtroom. I could feel all eyes, the whole room on me and it was like a weight on me. I could hear Blair's voice as I closed my eyes briefly when all words suddenly disappeared from my head as scared as I was. Don't be scared... „As soon as we were alone he took advantage of the situation and asked me to touch him." David raised his brows as if he was shocked or surprised. It unsettled me. I looked away. 

„His body?" The lawyer asked. 

„His... genitals. He asked me to satisfy him."

The lawyer nodded one time. „And you did that?"

„Yes."

„Did he use physical violence?"

„Rarely. Rather he used psychological violence."

„How exactly did he do that?"

„He said things like 'you're my brother, you have to help me' or 'everyone's doing that'. He also belittled it by saying it's not a big deal."

„And the few times he used physical violence, could you explain to us what he did?"

I swallowed hard. I didn't dare to look at anyone in that moment. I didn't want to see faces. Instead, I stared at the tabletop in front of me. „He asked me to touch him again," I started. „I said I don't want to. He tried to convince me that I have to. And when I still didn't do it he... grabbed my face and pushed himself into my mouth." I clenched my teeth. A reflex made me squint over to Felix, but I fixed my eyes back to the tabletop, still seeing his shocked face in my head. The way he put his hand over his mouth, sadness in his eyes. God how I hated this. I would be so happy if all of this was finally over and I would never have to think about it again.