Mean to Be (Mean #2)

Epilogue

I've only ever loved her. I knew it before she even realized that she had feelings for me. I have reasons that I found reasonable and logical before on why I didn't make Maxwell mine when I had the chance, that now seemed pointless and idiotic.

First, we were kids. I was stupid enough to think that it was puppy love, that my feelings would pass. I didn't act upon it because we were young. I thought that maybe I only felt those feelings because we were pushed to spend most of our times together. But of course I was wrong, the only problem was I didn't know it yet during that time.

Second, Maxwell was so vocal with her feelings that it made me feel like she's feigning what she truly feels. That she's only trying to play with me because she knew how I felt for her. For the second time, I was wrong again. Again, unfortunately, I didn't realize it.

I didn't like how Maxwell's my type. She had a lot of endearing qualities, but it is not enough to bury her countless of negative attributes. I was an idiot to think that a normal guy would love someone who's lady-like, soft-spoken, and kind. Not someone who's mean, frank, and childish like Maxwell. That is the reason why I tried to date girls who are the exact opposite of her.

I wanted to get rid of my blossoming feelings for her. I tried hard to forget about every speck of emotion that I'm feeling for her but every time that she schemes just to make sure that I won't belong to anyone else but her, I can't help but fall harder and harder.

Third, it is because of my pathetic ego. I wanted to be the one who'll love her more. I felt useless whenever she goes and proves that I'm wrong. That I couldn't love her more than she does. That's when I decided to act cold and stoic, so she'd stop loving me and I'd get the chance to make her feel that I can love her better. That what she feels is nothing compared to what I feel.

I hated myself for those reasons. It was the same reasons that made her slip right through my fingers countless of times in the first place. And when I realized how wrong and absurd my reasons were, to the hell with who loves more, I was too late.

I wasn't completely ignorant to what Rush felt before too. I knew that he felt the same as me. I wasn't worried about it before. I thought what he feels didn't matter because Maxwell's attention was all on me. That I didn't need to worry because I'm the one that Maxwell loves. Not him. But that changed when I left for Hong Kong.

I never once thought that he would find it in him to make a move. I didn't see it coming. I don't know what changed his mind, until now, it would probably remain a question to me and I don't think I'm even going to want to find out.

When we both decided to made a deal, I never really heed it any attention. Until Maxwell opened a door for me and offered me a wish. I was desperate and I couldn't pass up the opportunity. Being a nice guy was never a part of my character anyway. It was supposed to be a full proof plan.

Rush will leave and I'll have enough time to make Maxwell fall in love with me again. The only problem was, she didn't want to move on from Rush. She wanted to keep on loving him. It hurts to have your girl, the girl who would have been yours if you didn't chose to be stupid, love someone who's not you.

It was after I saw Maxwell holding hands with Rush at the mall that made me see red. As soon as Rush got home, I welcomed his face with a flying fist that sent him tumbling down.

"Stay away from Maxwell, you fucking piece of shit." I said with fury laced in my voice.

Rush let out an empty laugh. "Why the fuck would I? You don't own her, bastard. And you're not the fucking boss of me."

"Back. Off. She's. Mine." I gritted every word through my teeth, poking his chest with my finger at every pause. That seemed to piss him off because he pushed me off of him, causing me to back away.