langst one shots

Change

I'd never think I would've actually gotten used to this.

Lance took a look out of his window, a long stretch of beautiful green trees laced the horizon line. He slowly closed his eyes and imagined life before, life with them. Quickly he tilted his head down and shook the thought away, not now, later.

Walking to his room in his house he stumbles upon a old letter still sitting on his living room table. He turns it over and as he does he suddenly remembers about the party. A reunion party, tonight, with them.

Can I handle this? We haven't spoken in years, I thought they made it clear.. they.. they don't want me. Why is this happening now? I just got used to it.

He set the letter down and walked to his room to pick out something nice. Shit was it formal or cocktail attire?? Fuck it, i'll just wear a black dress shirt and nice pants.

Lance carefully placed the clothes onto his bed, he then turned the shower on letting the room steam up before he got in. He used his favorite shampoo and tried not to focus on the stinging on his legs.

Too bad I didn't bring anything sharp this time, maybe later... depending on how this party goes.

After the shower Lance took a long look at himself in the mirror. His eye bags were sunken in and purple, and as attractive as it is he didn't want them to match his outfit. He pulled at the skin on his face trying to make it better but to no avail. He took his blow dryer out and dried his hair with one hand and the other used for putting concealer on.

Maybe I shouldn't go. This was a mistake.

He dug in the living room closet for this dress shoes.

It's not like they actually want you there, they all forgot about you, remember that?

3:30 the clock reads, almost time to do. Lance quickly changes into his outfit when he notices a stain on his shirt. Fuck.

This is a sign. I can't go. I shouldn't go.

Lance runs to his closet to grab a new one almost exactly like it, i've got this. Keep it together Lancelot.

From the other room Lance could hear his phone ringing, he quickly ran to go grab it and walk out the door to drive to the party.

"Hello?"

"Yo Lance it's me," Keith, Lances hear drops and he starts tearing up, I really can't do this, i can't handle even hearing him speak. "I called to ask if you were showing up to the party tonight, I know things ended badly between all of us but we promised every 5 years..." his voice trailed.

Lance let out a sigh and morphed his face into a crooked smile, "Broski of course i'm coming tonight, let's leave that old stuff behind us immmmm the one who should've apologized. i'm really glad you guys still invited me, don't worry, i'll be there."

Keith laughed over the phone, "Okayokay, good i'm glad, i'll see you soon."
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what happened. what happened what the fuck just happened what did i do??

Lances hands gripped onto the sink, blood is splattered all over the porcelain, it looks like little stars, Lance thinks trying to calm himself down.

Why did I blow it?? I had one job and I fucked it up. I didn't want to disappoint them.
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"Lance," Allura called, her tone made him jump from his little corner he bound himself to, "let's make our way to the table, shall we? dinners about to start." She gave him and icy look and proceeded to walk away.

shit who am I going to sit by?? maybe keith?? he seemed to be nice to me earlier..

Lance glanced in keith's direction and have him a small smile and wave, please let this workkkk.

Keith waved Lance over and he took the seat next to him. Everyone else made there way and sat down, dinner was quiet at first but soon everyone was sharing stories, catching eschother up.

Lance stayed quiet, only nodding his head in agreement at things for laughing along with jokes. "What about you Lance?" Keith broke him out of his thoughts.

"Oh.. i- uh.. well.." his voice began to tremble be and hands get all sweaty, "I've been kinda just investing money and not working,, just doing whatever i want ya know?"

"Wow. We are all doing so great and making technological advances in society while Lance is still buying into capitalism." Pidge critized.

"I know i'm not as smart as the rest of you guys.. or as talented but I was doing good okay? I was doing better, forgetting about what happened, And then you guys invite me here. You laugh at me and criticize me for everything i do and then you wonder why i left." Lance slammed his hands on the table," You wonder why I had to leave. You expect my forgiveness but i can never forgive for you leaving me alone when i needed you most. I can never forgive you for that okay? i'm sorry." Lance sobbed and ran off. He got into his car and sped away as fast as possible, he checked his mirror and...

no one. no ones stopping you.

               ....they really don't care

why do did you go?

why?

you knew this would happen.

i did.

and you still went.

i.. know.. i thought they would change.. i thought i changed... but maybe i'm still just as bitter as before...

so let's change.

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heyyyy i know i haven't written in a long time,, i kinda wanna get back into it for an outlet again if people still wanna read it, this isn't the best i've done but it could've gone worse