langst one shots

Steps

Step one: Clean room

I pick up a sock from the floor and placed it in the laundry basket. I place t-shirts on hangers and hang them up in my closet. I set my shoes under the bed. I clean my entire room top to bottom.

I grab bleach from under the sink. I pour some onto the floor. I grab the mop and start mopping the bathroom floor clean.

Wow so many times I have played on this floor crying. All of the times I just sat here, whether it be crying or thinking or hurting myself.

I finish and leave it to dry. I walk into my room. Still messy. I take some wipes and clean the light switch.

I sit down on my bed letting out a sigh.

What will they do with out me? They'll carry on I hope.

I look at the clock next to my bed to see its going to be dinner time soon. I use my arms to push my up and stand. I grab the room from the chair it was lying on and swept again.

It has to be neat and tidy.

I grab some cologne and spray it in the air in hopes of aleving the disinfectant smell. It barely did anything but it still helped.

Everything is going smoothly. They are going to eat dinner soon then turn in for bed. Well, Shiro will sleep, Pidge will stay up on her computer, Keith will train, Hunk will cook and Allura and Coran will do things with the ship. 

I start cleaning my room more even when there is nothing left. 

Step 2:  write a note

I carefully tear out a sheet of paper from my note book and folded it in half.

I have to construct a perfect last note.

What shall it consist of?

I spin around in my chair thinking.

Hmmmmm. Maybe a poem. Yea. I poem sounds good. Maybe a couple.

I let the pen glide across the paper as I carefully wrote down every word, not wanting to start over.

Dark insecurities are taking control
Engulfing every part of my soul
I see my friends face from sight
The only this that gives me light
I act this way to give them hope
When it will only make it harder for me to cope
I wish my life would come to an end
So once again I may see my friends

I feel your heart beat
Please never leave me
Screaming this bitter sweat beat
My love for you is a guarantee

Although I've seen my last tomorrow
And I am holding my last breath
Good bye bitter sweat world of sorrow
My new life begins with death

I set down the pen perfectly parallel to the crisp sheet of white. I look around my room.

Nothing misaligned everything in order. Only one thing left.

Step 3: Look nice

I put on my signature sweater and I comb my hair. I walk into the bathroom and twisted the handle. Water poured our smoothly. I put my hand under to feel the temperature.

Perfect.

I opened my cabinet and grabbed a pill bottle half full with anti-depressants.

Well these dont work.

I slowly step in fully dressed, putting one foot in the the other. I sit down gingerly. I opened the bottle shaking a few pills on to my hand. I take two at a time until the bottle is empty.

My eye sight becomes blurry and I get a raging head ache.

The process you have to pay for killing to your self.

I rest my head on the back of the tub. I sink down slowly. I submerge my head under the water. I hear knocking on the door but I do nothing about it.

Soon enough my eye sight is gone and I feel nothing. I am takin by darkness.