langst one shots

Tired

"I'm real tired you know?" I carefully lay my head on Keith's shoulder. It is pretty late at night. We have been talking for a while now.

"I know." He set his head on top of mine.

"Do you ever feel like you don't do enough for the team?" I asked him, my eyes are shut.

"Sometimes, but I push those thoughts away," he paused, "do you?" Keith asked.

"Yea...I do... a lot..." I shut my eyes tightly not letting tears escape my eyes.

Keith lifted his head up, "You don't have to feel that way Lance."

"I know," I sighed, "let's just sleep."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alarms rang through the castle. Keith and I ran out of my room. I through on my suit and ran to red.

I shot Galra cruisers but nothing seemed to help. Nothing I did helped at all. Keith got in close on shot them, he seemed to be taking out alot.

I got in close to. I got down alot more then before and the fleet was down to half of its size.

It was going pretty smoothly until I saw a huge explosion. A abrupt noise followed it. I counted to see if everyone was still okay but one lion was missing, the black lion.

I franticly searched for Keith and his lion but I found nothing. Everyone else got knocked out from the blast which means I had a while to look.

It was as if he just picked up and left, with out a trace. After the explosion Galran forces fell back.

It was like the black lion and Keith were never here at all. No sign, no excess peices, nothing.

Once the other paladins a woke we searched for him. We searched in the most unlikely places.

We never found him.

Bags grew under my eyes and I slowly because this- this shell of a person I was before. My hair and skin routine didn't matter anymore, cuts littered my arms.

The other paladins tried to help. They tried to make me forget, but I didn't want to.

We held a funeral for Keith 2 months after his disappearance. I silently cried as Allura said blessings.

Each night I got less and less sleep, the night mares grew to big to bare. The others stopped helping, finally giving up.

And sometimes, more like most of all the time, I wonder what it would be like. If things ended differently.

What if I told my self not to get attached? What if I followed my gut feeling and didn't say yes?

I run through scenarios multiple times in my head. Over and over, changing the smallest detail. No matter how different I made it, it ended the same way, death.

Every moment I spent with him led to to this. Every action I made led up to his death. I couldn't help but to feel it is all my fault. If I had just let him get enough sleep the night before or got him a coffee or something.

Or I should have listened to my leaders and stayed in my room at night. If I had this would not have happened. Shiro wouldn't be missing, Keith would be alive, I would be dead.

I collapsed on my bed. My eye lids felt like stones. My eyes were dangerously close to closing.

It was this day a year ago, the night before the battle.

"I'm real tired you know....? I think I have been for a while now."