langst one shots

Nuisance

"Sometimes I feel likes I am not apart of the team okay? I try and I try but it is never good enough. I just feel so alone. I can barely handle the stress anymore. Can you? This weight on my shoulders are going to be the death of me." I wiped away my tears with my sleeve. I looked back into the mirror and looked away. 

"Thanks for listening again...me..." I high fived the mirror and walked out. I layed in my bed for a bit. My mind is blank. I could not move, my body didn't want to. I heard a knock on the door.

"I'm trying to sleep. Please leave." 

"Lance I want to talk..." It was Keith outside the door. 

"Okay I guess. Come in."

He practically flung open the door. He paced around the room ranting. He moved his hands around for dramatic effect. This went on for a few minutes before I got a chance to say anything. 

"Hey Keith I'm really, realllyyyy, sorry but I'm really tired. Could you rant in the morning?"  He looked kind of distraught for a second then sat down next me. 

"Are you okay? Do you need to rant? You never do." 

"Nah just really tired man." I reassured him. I waved him off and he walked out. I felt bad but I needed me time. I lay there doing nothing once again. I pushed out a deep sigh.

Why am I here? What's my purpose? What do I have to offer? Well besides a bad example.

I sat up straight. I wiggled around my arms and hands I pressed on a fake smile.

How long could they fall for this masquerade?

I hopped out of bed. Once again I stretched. I opened a drawer in my dresser. I grabbed a rubber band from under it. I slid it on then walked out.

"Hey what's up? How's my favorite little lady doin?" I winked and finger gunned at Pidge. She made a disgusted face. I grabbed the rubber band and snapped it against my skin. I continued walking.

I walked into the living room Keith and Allura were there. "Hey guys!" Allura snickered at me and Keith gave her a disappointed look.

What ever.

Snap. I pulled the band back. For every look, every yell. I walked into a part of the castle that was darker then the rest. There was a dark hall way that led up to one small room.

Nothing was inside. It was a pale blue color different from the rest of the rooms which were light grey. I sat inside. I pulled the band back again and again. My wrist was red and swollen.

Maybe if I do something good for them they will not hate me? Oh! I can bake a cake that says space family!

I hopped up with motivation I didnt have before. I ran to Hunks room.

"Hey man I need a recipe for a cake!"

"Uhhh no." He stated harshly. I felt a pain grow in my chest. I looked down and pulled the rubber band back.

"P-please Hunk? I will do anything! I promise!" I pleaded with him he looked up.

"Fine." He wrote down some things and handed the paper to me.

"Thank you so much." I walked out and into the kitchen that wasn't to far away. I took out the strange ingredients and followed the instructions carefully. Finally I frosted the cake.

One more thing.

I wrote 'space family' in blue frosting. I smiled I thought I did good. Around 8 o'clock.

That shouldn't be too late to have cake.

I placed plates in front of each chair alone with a fork and napkins. I set the cake right in the middle. I put a vase of flowers on each end of the table. I quickly grabbed cups and placed them on the right side of everyone's plate.

Perfect. Now time to get every one.

I found and pidge tinkering with a robot. I practically dragged them to the kitchen and told them to wait. I got Allura and Shiro from the living room. Keith I found in the training room.

Coran was much harder to find. He was fixing some air vent in the ceiling.

I pushed open the door and everyone walking in curiously. "I made this to show you guys how much you mean to me!"

Pidge's smile wavered as if it were fake. Aullra rolled her eyes and Keith looked concerned.

"How pitiful. Look everyone poor lance isnt getting enough attention again so he pulls this off so we can all pay attention to him. How stupid and  naive!" Allura laughed at me. Shiro went along with it. Soon Hunk and Pidge did too. Keith stood uncomfortably.

Know know that feeling when there is like this sinking in your chest? And it feels like you have an empty cavity where your heart is? It just feels like you got punched in the stomach? I felt like that.

I pulled the rubber band up and down rapidly. Blood staring coming out but I payed no mind. I pushed past them and into the hall.

I went to the pale blue room and sobbed. My heart felt heavy, like it was a 100 pound brick. The emptiness that was inside is now outside. It was like black paint. It spread quickly and now I'm engulf in it.

I tried to wipe my tears but more escaped. It hurt to breathe in. I put my hand over my heart to feel it beating. Sometimes I just need to remind myself I'm alive. Or give myself a steady best to breathe to.

I slowly, very, very, slowly calmed down. Tears have slowed down and my breathing was much better. Now I felt nothing. One minute filled with emotion now I'm completely devoid.

I sat there staring at the wall. My arms and legs spread out my back leaning against the wall. I was slouching horribly.

I pulled back the rubber band slowly. I pulled it as far back as it could. I looked down at it....and....nothing. No fear no nothing. I let it snap. Again nothing. I kept pulling it back, no hesitation.

The scab was now cracking. It started bleeding but I again I payed no mind to it.

Keith walked into the room. I gave him no attention. He gasped and put his mouth over his hand. He stood there for a second looking like he was deciding on something.

He sat next to me, saying nothing. I carefully moved my hand that was pulling the rubber band. I looked over at him a started crying again.

I hugged him and sobbed into his shoulder, I mumbled things in spanish. "Hey. It's okay." He said softly and rubbed my back. I gripped on his shirt for dear life, like I was going to lose him.

He gently stroked my hair and whispered things into my ears such as, "its okay", "cry it all out." It stayed like that for a while.

"Lo siento, Keith." I said. I pulled away from him.

"Its okay Lance. I can help. I want to help you get better." I smiled at him.

"Thanks. I think I'm gonna go sleep. Today has been a stressful day." I got up and walked into my room.

I'm not going to sleep.

I grabbed a pen and paper. I wrote up a quick note basically saying I'm sorry. Sorry for being a nuisance, being lazy, not being good enough.

I grabbed my bayard and held it up to my head. It transformed to a gun. I shut my eyes tight.

"Bye Keith."