langst one shots

Leaving

"I don't have a choice! I never once did!" My eyes teared up as I yelled at the paladins. My hands clenched and my finger nails dug into my skin, soon drawing blood.

"I was forced to come here to save the universe and now all I want to do is go back home." My arms held each other and I looked down as tears fell from my face. I didn't mine the blood coming from my hands, it was the only thing that kept we alive now. 

Each paladins face held different emotions. Most of them disgust or disappointment.

"I'm sorry. I should have kept this all  inside," I looked down at my feet, "like usual." I said barely audible. I tried to walk away but Allura stopped me.

"Lance..." she began, "If you want to leave go ahead. You will truly be missed. However, I- no- We want you to stay. Don't be sorry for sharing your feelings. Please, Lance, stay we will be better. I Promise."

"Okay..." I responded.

To bad it was all a lie, I should have known. When I told them how I felt yes they did change but not in the way that I wanted them to.

They excluded me more then ever in hopes of not hurting my "fragile" feelings, as Shiro said.

Fuck them.

It hurt more then before, and that's saying something because Shiro literally hit me. It didn't matter anyways I won't be here soon.

I walk around the halls ignoring the whispers I can here from them. I just continue walking. When ever I felt off I walked around. Which means I walk a lot.

I lifted my arms and my fingertips grazed against the cold wall. My fingers pressed against the wall as I walked past it.

My mind is on auto pilot as I stroll around. My feet carried me all the way to the escape pods. I looked at it up and down carefully.

I walked closer to it touching it. I hopped in it and closed it. I pushed the close door button.

"Lance?" Hunk call out my name.

"Hey are you okay man? Come back, please?"

I looked at him and I looked back at the escape button. I felt some emotion, I couldn't pin it since I barely ever felt them. It was this sinking feeling almost like...sadness...

Tears sprung into my eyes but I blinked them away. "No Lance...." he paused, looking down, "I understand, this is not for you. That's okay. I love you man. Please be happy. We all change in time and we part ways at some point. This is just yours."

Hunk waved to me. He tried to keep a smile but I could see through it as he cried. He didn't want me to go but he knew this was my way.

I pressed the button slowly and, once again, two times more then I wanted to, shot off into space.

I guess this is better than my killing myself. I said to no one.

I stared at the window. I love you, and I forgive you, but I'm not sorry.