You Get It

Oh, Baby

"Babe, have you seen my black jacket? The one I wore to dinner the other night? I think I left my credit card in there and I just wanna make sure." Spencer called out to the top of the stairs. He was met with silence.

"Babe!" he called out again to no response. He knew she mentioned being tired and decided to just walked upstairs to the bedroom to make see if she had decided to nap. She was 38 weeks pregnant and exhausted on top of still dealing with the aches and pains that came along with pregnancy. As he made his way up the stairs, he made a mental note to get her favorite snack ready if she was indeed sleeping. He wanted these last few weeks to be nothing but restful and easy.

"Babe, you good?" he questioned, poking his head into the doorway. Confusion set over him when he didn't see Olivia. Just as he was about to call out again he heard a small sniffle from the bedroom across the hall. The baby's nursery.

They had started it when Olivia was around 16 weeks so that they would be done in more than enough time. The pictures that were hung all coming from local LA artists. The colors being light grey with yellow accents, picked specifically because Olivia researched how color palates affected babies. The books and toys all chosen with heavy consideration (any authors who weren't using multicultural characters being left off the list) and carefully placed. The nursery being completely set made the idea that she was in there stressing about it amusing to a curious Spencer.

He made his way in and spoke up when he saw her facing the crib and looking inside. "You okay in here? I already told you that the books were fine against the wall and the baby won't be able to reach them and get crushed. I promise" he mused.

"Liv? Babe, you good?" he said when she didn't turn. The sound of her sniffles became a bit louder and she finally faced him.

Noticing the tears in her eyes, he walked over to her. "Oh babe, I was just kidding. If you want me to move them I can"

"It's not that, Spencer"

"What's wrong?"

"I've been sitting in here and looking into the crib. The completely empty and unused crib. And it hit me. I'm going to be responsible for another human being. What if I'm not ready? I mean, yeah I've taken care of pets before but this is an actual person. A walking, talking, breathing, real life human. What if when she turns 16 she hates me? Or, what if I completely screw her up and she ends up..." she trailed, looking up to suppress the tears that threatened to fall.

"Hey, hey, hey. You are going to be an amazing mother. You already are. I mean look at that Misty Copeland painting. Or even the colors of the room. All these little things you put such care into just for her. You think I would've thought of that? That's all you. You're already such an incredible and intentional mom, Liv. Don't let nerves or your anxiety try to tell you otherwise." He comforted as he reached for her hands.

Joining their hands together, she took a breath and shook her head. "I don't know...I just worry that I may not be good enough. All this time, I've been so excited and in such a state of bliss because it almost didn't seem real. It almost seemed so far away that I felt like I had more time. But now, being so close to her due date- it's really hitting me."

"We're in this together, baby. Always. I mean I'm nervous too. My moms has always been such a rock for me, she made the whole parenting thing seem so easy and natural. Being close to welcoming my own child, I just worry about the kind of father I'll be. That I'll end up making the same mistakes." He said as his voice fell to just above a whisper.

"No, babe. You won't. And you won't because you're not him. Cory had his own things to sort through and issues to unpack. You say all this about me and you're such an attentive dad already. Remember a few weeks ago? My ten o'clock grapefruit craving? You went out and grabbed me some without hesitating and then grabbed lemon flavored shaved ice because you remembered that I said it was the only flavor she kicked a lot too. You're going to be an amazing dad. You already are" She told him as she stroked his cheek.