You Get It

favorite crime

first: thank you, thank you, thank you for all the kind words and well wishes on my last post- it means a lot and helped more than some may realize. I hope any one reading or commenting knows that though this is the internet, my inbox is ALWAYS open for anyone who needs a listening ear. mental health and struggles are real and you have to fill yourself up before you can be there for others. I am doing a little better and with new ways of coping (aka new therapist and treatment plan), i'm hoping it'll slowly keep getting better. now with that being said, to anyone still reading- THANK YOU and i hope you enjoy. 💛

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Spencer's mind raced as he thought about the conversation at the Hang Out. The thoughts, feelings, and whirlwind of possibilities that he was sure had been pushed to the side suddenly came back full force and left him feeling more lost than before.

"What about you? Are you happy?"

This is the question that he had been pondering for months. It didn't occur to him that another human being could be so connected to the determining of his mood. The events of summer had complicated things and in turn, complicated his emotions but he felt like a little bit of her and her friendship was better than nothing. The newfound rationalization didn't make hearing what Layla said any easier.

Things didn't turn out the way he had hoped but that didn't take away from the protectiveness he felt over her. The care that would always be there. Asher pulling what he did and hurting her that way made him furious. Asher didn't deserve her and she didn't deserve to deal with that in silence. Olivia had become his best friend and he wanted to do what he would've done before and comfort her but he knew it wouldn't come from the same place. It'd be coming from a place of...jealousy? Anger? Resentment? He wasn't sure but he wanted to sort it out and figured there was only way to do that. This in his mind, he settled on calling. It'd be easier than having the conversation face-to-face. Her wide, beautiful brown eyes would swallow him whole and weaken his resolve.

Pulling out his phone and taking deep breaths as he pressed her contact, he prepared himself for the call to go a million different ways.

After a few rings and to his surprise, the sound of her voice startled him out of his thoughts.

"Spencer? You there?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm here. My bad, I'm just a little surprised that you answered is all."

"Why wouldn't I?" she said, almost defensively.

"I don't know, Liv. I guess I just figured after our talk that you would keep wanting your space."

"Spencer, I didn't mean that we couldn't ever talk again. I just don't think it's a good idea for us to be so....close." Her voice getting quieter as she went on.

"I get that. I just wanted to check on you. I know you said earlier that you didn't want to talk about it all but I think that it'll help. Maybe help you sort through some things."

"Sort through what?" she scoffed.

"Liv. Don't do that." He knew that she would keep this act up and pretend everything was good despite obviously being bothered.

"Do what? I'm literally not sure of what you're even talking about."

"Asher and this new girl is clearly bugging you. I don't get why we can't talk about it. We used to talk about everything."

"Yeah well things are different now."

"They don't have to be."

"But they do. I can't act like what happened doesn't change the way we have to be friends. Like I said, let's just put summer behind us. Talking things out isn't going to magically fix it all."

"You mean put me behind you." he said, bitterness slowly creeping into his tone.

"I don't mean that" she sighed out. "I just don't want to blow everything up. Moving forward and forgetting about certain stuff is just best for everyone."

"For everyone or for you?" he pushed. The emotions of the conversation and her insistence on not talking about what was really going on were starting to get the best of him. It was starting to get the best of her too. The situation was not one sided and the events that happened after and information being withheld wasn't just from her.