You Get It

Someday, Part 2

Setting a candle down, turning on her music and sitting to taking deep breaths, Olivia allowed herself to finally relax on her yoga mat. She was going to try to calm her mind and recollect after an emotional 24 hours. Between the ambush breakfast and the argument with Spencer at the art studio, she was drained and ready to try and put it all behind her.

Relaxation wasn't coming easily, though. The events from that night and yesterday refused to stop replaying. She knew that she hadn't given him the response he wanted but she didn't expect him to up and leave. From the depths of her soul, she loved him and wanted to be with him. Plaguing her was fear that they were still so young and that ever present voice in the back of her head that maybe she wasn't deserving of the love that he gave. Despite this, they had built such a friendship and amazing foundation that on the other hand she didn't doubt they could last forever. A fear of what she had witnessed in both families just caused her to hesitate. Seeing one too many times the downside of marrying too quickly or too young, she didn't want to rush and have them crash and burn in a similar way. Olivia understood that their strength lied in taking things at their own pace and in being transparent with each other. She had wanted to tell him all this that night, but he didn't want to hear it and she knew him well enough to know it was out of his own pride and ego. Thinking he would've come back and they could talk it out, she hadn't thought it would get to the point it did. Spencer leaving rather than hearing her out as he always had was, shook her to her core and was a hurt she wasn't going to be able to just move past lightly. The gravity of it weighed heavy and the devil's advocate in her was a pain in the ass that she had tried to make sense of.

One side screamed a sense of regret in allowing fear to take over rather than going with the gut instinct to scream "Yes" the second she saw the ring was the main thing making her feel a sense of guilt. Her mind allowed her to categorize and live in the present for everything and something so huge wasn't one of those situations. It was a matter of the heart and though she wanted to lose herself in it, it still was difficult for her. She knew deep down that she should have gone with what her heart said and not her mind but the lingering effects of past hurt and insecurities screamed at her to run from a commitment so big- no matter how much she loved Spencer. It was all so complicated in her mind that the peace and safety her heart found in Spencer had been pushed to the side and now she paying the price.

Continuing to think, the other side also knew that the fears she had were valid and was still upset at Spencer for not hearing her out. Four years and knowing her better than anyone on the planet should've been enough for him to know that she was fearful of it, not against it. They had talked about marriage before and agreed that they didn't want to make the mistakes others had so she thought they were on the same page. Him straying from that was a welcomed change but one that he couldn't blame her for being thrown off by. Even then, the hurt she saw in his eyes not just that night but yesterday made her realize that he wasn't trying to repeat mistakes but rather learn from them and do it their way. Frustration was all that came to mind because had he stuck around to talk, this could've been avoided.

Right?

Still debating in her mind, Olivia was mid pose when she heard a knock on her apartment door. Not really wanting guests, she ignored it at first but then the person knocked again. Resigning herself to the fact that her night was going to be interrupted again, she made her way over and looked through the peep hole.

Of course.

Swinging the door open, she saw him standing there in his fitted white t-shirt and snug black sweatpants, his gold chain dangling. Damn him. He was clearly choosing violence. "I really need to speed up the twin and friend replacement process. Who gave it up?" she let out, trying her best to stay firm and appear annoyed.