The Curious Tales of Evelyn Stark

Peace

Evie sat on the porch in the swing. It was late probably around two am but she couldn't settle. She'd been home about a week.  Maybe ten days. Each day that ticked by weighed on her soul. Weighed on her heart. She missed James. A feeling by now she should have been used to.

Pepper stepped outside two steaming mugs of herbal tea in her hands, "Why are you up?"

"Couldn't settle. Thinking about the past," Evie said.

"I never asked what made you come back in the forties," Pepper said.

Evie smiled, "I was in Egypt. I'd been with the Commandos for several months. Howard was considered to be an enemy. Had I been on American soil before he was cleared. I would have been arrested. And honestly Jack Thompson would have hated me in an interview room."

Pepper laughed, "I have no doubt. Do you miss it? The day to day that was SHIELD and the SSR?"

Evie shrugged, "I miss the cases. The undercover work. My friends. Dinner with Daniel and Pegs. Watching that. I'm still angry with Steve for going back. Being in LA. Edwin and Ana. Ana was Jewish, and Edwin saved her life. They made you believe in love. Yes I'd experienced it. That whole soul consuming feeling. But they made it look easy."

"Why did you come back?"

"I realized that I couldn't run anymore that the life I wanted was over. That the ache I've had since he fell was never going to go away. No matter what I did. Then Loki happened. And DC. Siberia. Wakanda. The last six months. I know that this ache this pain has one solution. And it's him. He's always been that piece of me," Evie said, "Granted the realization I could run away anymore happened in the middle of a bar in Egypt. Where I sobbed hysterically.  I could get drunk back then."

Pepper laughed, "I don't know if I could do this without you and Happy."

"You're strong. You have me, Peter, and MJ. We're not going anywhere," Evie replied, squeezing Pepper's hand.

"How did you do it?" Pepper asked.

"I leaned on Peggy, Daniel, Howard, Edwin, and Ana. Just like you lean on me. I yelled and screamed and cried. I cussed my brother. A lot. The stupid shield I designed that blew the hole in the side of the train. Steve. I cussed him too. Once the anger hit and it hit me hard I just cussed everyone and everything," Evie said.

"You need to see your brother and the Jarvis' Evelyn," Peggy snapped, as Evie went over a file.

"Peggy can you not please?" Evie hissed, slamming the file down.

"They're worried about you.  I'm worried about you," Peggy stated, reaching across the table to squeeze Evie's hand.

"What do you want me to say? That I'm heartbroken? That I'm angry? That I've drank myself stupid more than I care to count in the last two years? That I'm not okay? Because I'm not. I'm not okay Peggy and I really don't know if I ever will be," Evie said, standing up. She gave Peggy one last look before leaving the conference room, shoving past Daniel as he came in.

"You brought up Sergeant Barnes?"

"A warning would have been nice Daniel," Peggy snapped.

"She's mourning," Daniel hissed. He was over protective of Evie and he knew it. She was his friend. James had been a friend. He'd owed the Sergeant his life and in some sense of compensation he was watching out for his friend's best girl.

"And I'm not?" Peggy hissed.

The weight of their losses hit Daniel. They were both grieving. "Peggy"-