Love Me Again [ OffGun ]✔

CHAPTER - 19

OFF💚

It’s been a week since he broke down in front of me and apologized. Even if he says many times that he regrets it, I will never forgive him. My blood boiled when he told me he thought I cheated on him.

What kind of reason is that?

Every morning he cooked me breakfast but I didn’t eat it. I threw it in the trash right in front of him. I didn’t talk to him either and most of all I didn’t look at him.

Is it right that I treat him like this or is it too much for him?

Well.... That's his problem, he's the one at fault.

"Argh..!"

I was too lazy to go to work today.

"Oh Yeah!"

I remember that Aom and Nova will be visiting today. I have to tell the cook to prepare Nova's favorite food because I know that's what she's always looking for whenever she comes here.

I get up from my bed. I stretched my body as I watched the view outside from my window. I caught a glimpse of Gun watering the plants outside. I grabbed the towel and went to the bathroom to take a shower.

I wonder why Gun is always just at home, doesn't he go to his club to see what has happened?

I have to be careful how I feel about him. I don't want to be in love with him again. I promised myself that even if he was the only person left in this world, I would never love him if I had to love him so that I could live, it would be better for me to just die.

I just made him suffer a little in exchange for the pain I used to feel. He was a fool, he didn't know that I was just playing with him.

I keep wondering if what happened in the past did not happen, what would we do now? Maybe we will be happily married. I had many plans with him before but now there is no romantic relationship between us we are just step brothers and nothing else.

What's wrong with me?

Why do I always think of him?

***

After I took a shower and got dressed I immediately went downstairs to go to the kitchen to have breakfast.

Omelette, soup, hotdog, a cup of rice and a glass of milk are in front of me now. I'm hungry but I have no plans to eat what Gun cooked for me.

I was about to get up to throw the food in the trash when I heard Nova's voice.

"Papa!"

I looked at the door where I saw Nova running towards me while her mother and the couple followed her.

"Nova, be careful!"

They all sat down at the table. Nova sat down next to me. I forgot to throw away the food because I was busy talking to Nova and Aom.

I still remember that Aom was very scared when she found out she was pregnant. She wanted to have an abortion because the one who made her pregnant suddenly disappeared. So I told her before not to abort the child because I will hold the child responsible and I will help her raise the child if her parents drive her away.

Fortunately that night the man chased her and they fixed everything. They told their parents about Aom's pregnancy and they were kind enough to accept and support them both.

"How are you Gun? When I heard you were back here in Thailand I was really in a hurry to finish all my work in the office to visit here."

I looked at Aom, I didn't notice that they were talking to Gun before. Krist and Singto are eating quietly by the side of the table. I no longer listened to what they were talking about. While Nova was talking about her school, I was also eating, I couldn't stand the hunger anymore.

Nova was a good child and I considered her as my own child.

"So... Are you and Off talking about what happened to you before? I hope you still get along even if you are no longer as a couple."

"A-aaah..." Gun doesn't know how to answer what Aom said. He looks down and squeezes his fingers.

I stopped eating and looked at them. "Can you not mention about our past?" I get annoyed every time I hear them talk about our past.

10 years have passed but they still haven't moved on from our past. Even though they always say that we are a perfect couple, our status will never change.

Aom smiled awkwardly. "I'm sorry."

"Why didn't your husband come with you?" I asked to change the topic.

Aom sighed. "Because he's always busy with work, he can't leave the company."

"Is that why Nova didn't have any sister or brother?" Krist asked.

Aom's face turned sour so we laughed at her. We talked happily while Gun didn't seem to be able to keep up with what we were talking about. I just let him feel like he didn’t fit in with us.

I waited for him to leave but he managed to sit at the table until we finished. He ate very little, maybe he was on a diet. I noticed that he had lost weight.

***

After we had breakfast earlier, Krist and Singto left for work. Nova, on the other hand, was with Gun in the kitchen, they baked cookies while I was just here on the sofa relaxing.

"Can we talk?"

"S-sure." I reply to Aom.

She sat down on the sofa and she stared at me intently. "Do you know Gun's reason why he suddenly disappeared before?" She straightened up. "Don't be mad at me. The way you treat him I can say that you hate him until now. Off, it's been a long time and soon he will be your step brother. Treat him nicely."

I get really irritated every time I hear that topic. My heart aches when they talk about what happened in the past. I can't explain why I'm still hurting until now it's been a long time but my heart is still locked in the past. 

I want to love again, I want to open my heart for First but I don’t know how because every time I’m with First, Gun is always on my mind.

"I just want to ask if you still love him."

Her question was so sharp that it was as if a knife had stabbed me in the chest but I didn't let her know that I was hurting. I averted my eyes from her and sighed.

"N- no.."

"Off, I know you. Don't lie to me. I just look at you, I can read you like an open book. I've been your best friend since we were kids so I've known you very well."

What she says is annoying. Why doesn't she want to believe that I don't love him anymore?

"What do you mean? I'm lying?!" I can't help but be angry with her.

"You can't believe I don't love him, I've moved on with him? I just feel resentment and anger towards him every time I see his face and then you can't believe I don't love him anymore?" My voice was so firm that I almost shouted at her.

I no longer love him. Why would I love the person who hurt me before? I'm not dumb for that.