Grim

3

Azias' POV

It was late, and the house was quiet and peaceful. Yet, I was wide awake, unable to get some rest. I had been losing sleep like this for a while now. There was just too much on my mind, like if my brother was alright and who was after me. I had taken down the people I had suspected, but I felt no closer to finding the actual threat. Then seeing my father brought up a bunch of bad memories and feelings...a bunch of anger that I had as a child and had worked on suppressing as I grew up. The minute I saw him, I wanted to draw my gun, but I had bigger fish to fry that day.

I had even thought of hunting him down after I took down the gangs I was after, but I decided that he wasn't worth tracking down. He was already dead to me anyways.

I sighed and sat up to wipe my face. Frightening me a bit, Sapphire jumped out of her sleep and aimed her gun at me. Upon realizing that it was me, she breathed a breath of relief before placing her gun on the bedside table beside her. Even she was on edge.

"Sorry," she apologized. "Forgot you were on the bed with me." I nodded, but didn't say anything. "Why are you up?"

"Can't sleep," I answered briefly.

She suggested, "Wanna talk about whatever's on your mind?"

"Nah, but thanks," I shook my head. I appreciated her asking if I wanted to talk about my worries, but I would have rather simply forgetting about them for a night. I felt that talking about my worries would make me think more about the things I didn't wanna think about.

"Is there anything I can do to help? Maybe make tea or something?" she offered, and I connected eyes with her. I could tell that she still cared for me, and it brought a hint of warmth in my body. I had gotten so used to being cold again.

I shook my head, "Thanks, but I'm fine."

She crawled behind me and placed her hands on my shoulders before giving me a massage. I was just about to tell her that she didn't have to when I realized how relaxing it felt. My muscles were grateful for it, so I just sat quietly as she eased them.

"Azias?" she called out after a long period of silence.

"Yeah?" I answered, and she stopped massaging me and instead sat beside me. She looked a bit nervous to ask, so I encouraged, "Go ahead."

"Back at the motel, when you saw Pharaoh, you froze, and when Rose said that the baby was hers, you looked a bit relieved," she brought up.

I explained, "I was relieved. I wouldn't want you going through an entire pregnancy alone. I feel bad that Rose did. Most importantly, I wouldn't wanna miss out on seeing our child grow up." She looked relieved to hear my response, but then she grew even more nervous. "What is it?" I asked softly.

"I..." she looked away and sighed. "I was pregnant too, but I knew that two pregnancies would be difficult for us to maintain. It would strain our resources and also slow us down if we were attacked. So...two months in...I..."

I pulled her body onto mine, allowing her to straddle me, but she refused to look into my eyes. I tilted her chin so that we could connect eyes, and I made clear, "I'm not upset or disappointed, Sapphire."

"I also didn't know if you would approve of me keeping it," she admitted. "We never got to the stage of talking about kids..."

I nodded, "We didn't get to talk about a lot of things." Like the fact that I had been falling in love with her before shit popped off. Like the fact that I was too afraid to tell her that I loved her when she had to leave. I still cared about her, and I knew her joining me on this mission would help us reconnect, but I also knew that I wouldn't be able to be as ruthless around her. I'd scare her away for good. She stared longingly into my eyes, and I found a small smile creeping on my face. "I definitely want kids with you when this is over."

"Yeah?" she smiled widely, making my smile go wide too.

I nodded, "Yeah."

"Well, I ain't pushing out your kids until we're married, so," she teased.

I chuckled, "So we'll get married then."

She rolled her eyes, "You're just saying that."

Little did she know, the moments we spent together was what kept me sane during all of this. Even though I accumulated a lot more blood on my hands, there were times when I simply walked away from the opportunity to kill. I knew I walked away because she wouldn't approve. She taught me to have compassion and to let certain shit go, even though she didn't know it. I often thought about us having kids and the type of father I wanted to be for our children. That too, stopped me from senseless violence.

"Ain't no girl ever asked to buss shots with me," I admitted. "The care...the love you got for me is unmatched, and I really appreciate it. Nobody ever held me down the way you have, Phire. I would've done a lot of stupid shit if I hadn't still been thinking about you this whole time. I still care about you, and I know reconnecting will wash away any distance the gap created between us. Word to everything, Imma marry you when this shit over." She sniffled, making me chuckle, until she actually started crying. I frowned, "Why are you crying?"

She sniffled, "It was so hood but still sweet," and I burst out laughing, making her do the same. "Plus, you gave me a nickname, and I love it."

"And I love you," I announced as I stared into her watery eyes.

I couldn't remember how many nights I stayed awake thinking about how I never got to tell Sapphire those words. I spent even more nights wondering if we'd ever have the opportunity to deepen that love— the opportunity to fully fall in love.

She cried, "You're on a mission tonight, I swear," before chuckling and making me do the same. "I don't know why I'm so emotional right now but it's fucking hilarious. I love you too."

I connected her lips with mine, and I felt an immediate reconnection with her. I missed the way her tongue blended with mine, and I missed hearing our breathing come to a match every time we'd kiss. She looked into my eyes, hers all watery from the tears she was failing to hold in.

I felt her slowly breaking down the walls I had built up, and she wasn't even trying.

A/N: Next week, Azias finally spills the tea about the things he's involved in, and Sapphire has to decide if she still wants to join him on the mission 🎀✨

Also, I might give two chapters again... Haven't made up my mind yet 🥴