Grim

18

Something ever bothered you so much that every time you'd think about it, you'd experience the same level of rage as you had when it first happened?

That's how that "dinner" made me feel. Every time my mind drifted away and then came back to replay what had transpired in the restaurant, I found myself getting pissed off again.

At first, I wanted to storm in there and let all hell loose, but I figured I had already endured enough of me looking and feeling like a fool for the night. I hated the thought of being embarrassed just as much as I hated actually feeling embarrassed. Tonight, I was experiencing both the thoughts and the actual act.

The feel of cool wind entering the car made my head snap towards the opening car door. Immediately, goosebumps flooded my arms, but the air wasn't nearly as cold as I was about to be.

Azias was finally back after what felt like an eternity long conversation between him and the lady. Really, only about an hour had passed. I had no idea what had been going on in that restaurant. Frankly, I didn't care anymore. All I knew was that while in the car, I was fuming over what happened, and Rose had been on the receiving end of my texts, learning about why I was so pissed off and trying to get me to calm down.

I wasn't hearing it, though.

There was nothing anyone could say to make me forget or feel better about how stupid Azias made me look back there! There was nothing to be said or done that would make me not wanna slap the shit out of that bitch for the way she spoke to me! I was livid, and there was no calming me down! I didn't even wanna talk to Azias.

Azias placed his seatbelt on before looking over at me and apologizing, "Sorry that took so long. You hungry?"

"No." I answered, my eyes staring outside the window. I wanted nothing to do with him.

"You good?" he asked, picking up on my attitude, and I rolled my eyes, although he couldn't see me do it.

How dare he embarrass me like that and then act as if everything was okay?!

"Don't wanna talk to you right now," I said with my arms crossed and face forward.

"...Did I do something wrong?"

I ignored his question, but instead of leaving me alone, he just kept on going.

"Was it when I asked you to wait here? I meant no disrespect, ma."

It was as if he wasn't getting the fact that I really didn't wanna hear anything he had to say.

"You really gone ignore me like that?"

Silence was all he received from me.

"Yo?!" he yelled at me, annoyed that I was ignoring him.

"You must be deaf or something," I said as I looked outside the window.

I could feel his eyes on me, but I didn't care. He could give me threatening stares all he wanted. I was pissed at him, and nothing that he'd say or do would make me feel better.

He started the car while saying, "Imma just let this slide til you come to your senses tomorrow. I'm not doing this petty shit tonight."

"Letting shit slide seems to be your theme tonight," I said in a petty voice as I began staring forward again.

"You-"

"Just drive the fucking car!" I sighed. "I'm not looking for a conversation."

"I swear-"

"Look!" I snapped while turning my head to him. "You can threaten me all you want! You can huff and puff all you want. I don't give a fuck, Azias! Just like how you didn't give a fuck back there when it mattered! I literally don't even wanna be near you right now, so before you piss me off anymore, I'd suggest driving the fucking car so I can get to the house and sleep! I don't wanna talk to you, so please shut up!"

He quietly stared at me with cold eyes, but I meant everything that I had said and didn't feel the need to back down or apologize. If he wanted to be angry, I wouldn't give a fuck. I'd be staying in a different room tonight anyways.

"You'd think after a year you'd learn how to better communicate. My fault though," he said as he continued staring at me. Although he was keeping composure, I could hear the anger in his voice. He was getting upset about the way I was behaving, but I didn't care.

"You'd think after everything we've been through, you'd have some respect for me!" I fired back at him as I finally connected eyes with him.

Azias frowned, "How did I disrespect you? You're over here cursing at me because I told you to wait for me in the car?!"

"The lady was disrespecting me back to back and instead of you checking her, you tell me to wait in the fucking car like I'm your fucking pet or kid!" I brought up. Although I didn't want to have this conversation tonight, I figured it was inevitable and that I might as well just tell him why I was pissed. "It was bad enough that she was eye fucking you even after clearly seeing that we were together, but to have an attitude with me too? Then she tells you to make me leave and you listen to her?! How the fuck do you expect me to feel, Azias? Huh?!"

"I didn't comment on the way she looked at me because I thought you knew your spot was secured already," Azias argued, and I rolled my eyes.

I shrugged, "It doesn't matter whether I think my spot is secured. It doesn't matter if you assume that I think my spot is secured either. I was uncomfortable that entire time. You didn't have to make a scene out of it, but you could've said something in my defense. Then when I get bothered and wanna leave, you completely tune me out and send me away!"

"She knew about Ace! She clearly had information!" Azias sighed, frustration and anger in his voice and posture.

I scoffed, "So if she said she wanted to fuck in order for you to get that info, would you have done that too?"

"Now you're just dragging it," he sighed as he started the car.

"Yeah okay. What she asked for in return?" I asked.

Azias answered, "They want me to take care of someone."

"And you're just gonna do it? I guess you do everything she says now," I pettily replied.

"You know that ain't true," he argued.

"Well, she left that meeting thinking that she could disrespect me and you'd allow it if she had something to offer you. That entire event was humiliating for me, and if you can't at least see that, then I don't see the point in talking to you," I said as I turned to face forward.

"Guess we're done talking then."

Ouch.

"Fine," I said before turning my body towards my window. He probably thought that I had turned away to block him out, but really, it was so that he wouldn't see how hurt I was, and especially so that he wouldn't see the tears I knew were bound to escape my eyes soon.

He drove off, leaving us in uncomfortable silence and me questioning why I signed up for this.

I wanted to be as far away from him as possible right now!