Zodiac High

*1st Period Math Class*

*Scorpio joins Libra and Cancer near the windows.* *Virgo joins Capricorn and Aquarius in the front of the classroom.* *Aries, Leo and Pisces sits in front of their girlfriends.* *Gemini and Taurus sits in the middle.* *Sagittarius is getting comfortable in the back row.*
LIBRA: She better go sit with her boyfriend.
SCORPIO: Libra! Enough!
*Libra rolls her eyes.*
ARIES: *Turns around, staring at Cancer.* Can you please talk to me?
SCORPIO: Don't do it!
ARIES: Stay out of this Scorpio!
SCORPIO: You can rot in hell Aries!
CANCER: Scorpio!
SCORPIO: He's always doing some fuckshit.
*Libra nods her head in agreement.*
ARIES: I'm a changed man!
SCORPIO: And I'm Beyoncé.
*Half of the class erupts into laughter.*
ARIES: You're such a fucking bitch!
PISCES: Don't call my girl a bitch!
ARIES: I'm just stating facts.
PISCES: Your facts are wrong.
VIRGO: Where's our teacher at?
LIBRA: *Fake sneezes.* Teacher pet.
VIRGO: *Turns around.* Fuck off Libra!
LEO: You're not allowed to talk to my queen like that! Apologize!
*Libra smiles.*
CAPRICORN: Shut the fuck up Leo!
LEO: Make me bitch!
CANCER: Maybe everyone should calm down!
VIRGO: Tell your boyfriend to act like a gentlemen and then may--
CANCER: Who the fuck cares what you think. You and Capricorn walk around the school acting like y'all are the perfect couple to ever exist.
VIRGO: Because we are! Y'all love that dysfunctional toxic love shit.
SCORPIO: Who's yall?
VIRGO: I didn't mean you.
LIBRA: Toxic. The only person who's toxic in this room is Aquarius' girl.
TAURUS: And there goes Libra bringing me up once again.
LIBRA: If you haven't plotted and lied to get Leo, everything would be fine.
TAURUS: No one wants your man, except you.
LEO: You did. Remember the whole fake pregnancy?
TAURUS: That's in the past.
LIBRA: Don't forget that you had a threesome with Aries and Gemini! You nasty ass hoe. You knew he was with Cancer at the time.
*Gemini cranks her neck around, looking at a pissed off Sagittarius and look away.*
ARIES: Let's forget that ever happened.
CANCER: You're the one who made it happened!
ARIES: It was a mistake. I regret it. Everyone knows that you have the best pussy.
*Scorpio sighs.*
PISCES: Aries.
ARIES: It's the truth!
GEMINI: That's not what you were saying to me when you was balls deep inside my vagina.
SAGITTARIUS: *Fake coughs, loudly.* Slut.
GEMINI: You're a slut too!
SAGITTARIUS: I can't believe I ever dated you.
TAURUS: Sag. Really? You're acting like a douchebag right now!
SAGITTARIUS: No one cares what you think liar.
AQUARIUS: Taurus is not a liar!
SAGITTARIUS: She lied about being pregnant by Leo.
TAURUS: And that's why Libra aborted your baby.
VIRGO: Wait.
CAPRICORN: What.
*All eyes on Libra.*
SCORPIO: When were you ever pregnant?
LIBRA: It was last year. *Stares at Taurus.* Thanks a fucking a lot Taurus!
TAURUS: You shouldn't never told me!
LIBRA: Maybe I should whoop your ass again.
TAURUS: Like Aquarius whooped Leo's ass this morning.
LIBRA: *Looks at Leo.* You fought Aquarius?
LEO: There wasn't no fight.
CAPRICORN: Aquarius almost beat your ass.
ARIES: We should beat your ass.
AQUARIUS: Y'all can't beat us.
LEO: I never lost a fight.
AQUARIUS: Me either.
LIBRA: Since we all are fighting. I got Taurus. Since she likes to run her mouth.
TAURUS: Bring it bitch!
SAGITTARIUS: I hope Libra beats your ass again.
GEMINI: This doesn't involve you!
SAGITTARIUS: She mentioned my unborn child.
GEMINI: With all the unprotected sex we been having, I wouldn't be surprised if I was pregnant.
SAGITTARIUS: I hope not.
GEMINI: You're such a fucking asshole! All you care about is partying, drugs and sex! No wonder Libra got the damn abortion.
SAGITTARIUS: And you open your legs to any guy who will give you attention. You're just a smash and pass. You're not girlfriend material and neither is your best friend.
TAURUS: If I'm not girlfriend material, then why is Aquarius dating me?
SAGITTARIUS: Probably for sex.
TAURUS: Fyi, we never had sex yet.
AQUARIUS: Really Taurus.
TAURUS: What?!
AQUARIUS: Why would you put our business out there?
TAURUS: So now you're talking to me? Because yesterday, I didn't exist to you.
GEMINI: Because guys ain't shit at Zodiac High.
VIRGO: Not Capricorn and Aquarius. Then again, y'all only like toxic people.
GEMINI: Shut up Virgin!
VIRGO: At least I'm not a backstabbing thot and oh, my boyfriend loves me!
LIBRA: Leo would do anything for me!
CANCER: Same with Aries!
CAPRICORN: All Aries do is cheat!
*Pisces is feeling the edibles and just relaxing to the drama in the background.*
AQUARIUS: And get people pregnant.
SCORPIO: You judgmental asshole!
AQUARIUS: It's the truth.
SCORPIO: And that's why Taurus won't ever fuck you! The only guy she wants to fuck is taken.
TAURUS: Leave my sex life out of this!
SAGITTARIUS: You're the one who brought up your sex life when you told everyone that you were pregnant.
GEMINI: You got someone pregnant!
PISCES: *High af.* Everyone should chill and relax.
SCORPIO: This is all Gemini fought.
GEMINI: How the fuck is all this my fault?
CANCER: Because you fucked my boyfriend behind my back!
TAURUS: Aries is the one who decided to cheat.
LIBRA: And you're the one who decided to lie about being pregnant by my boyfriend!
VIRGO: At least she didn't get pregnant.
CANCER: At least I didn't get caught by my mom, having sex for the first time.
CAPRICORN: *Looking at Virgo.* This is why I told you not to talk about our sex lives to your friends.
VIRGO: They are my friends! I'm going to tell them things.
LEO: Damn. All the sex I had so far, I never got caught.
*Aries fist bump Leo.*
AQUARIUS: You still need your ass beat.
*Mr. Space enters the classroom.*
LEO: *Standing up.* Beat my ass, bitch!
LIBRA: Baby calm down!
ARIES: Nah. Let Leo beat his ass. He deserves it.
CAPRICORN: If anyone needs an ass beating, that's you!
CANCER: And Miss Perfect is talking about how they're not toxic.
VIRGO: Because we aren't!
TAURUS: You're just like the rest of us.
VIRGO: I don't spread my leg to every guy that gives me attention.
SCORPIO: You're tripping. Sex is awesome!
GEMINI: Sagittarius is the whole reason why everyone is mad at each other.
CAPRICORN: I still vote Aries.
ARIES: Get off my dick!
MR.SPACE: *Makes eye contact with each student.* Aries. Leo. Libra. Scorpio. Aquarius. Taurus. Gemini. Cancer. Capricorn. Pisces. Virgo. Sagittarius. All of y'all have after school detention today.
VIRGO: I never had a detention!
CAPRICORN: Same!
GEMINI: Mrs. Mercury already gave me after school detention.
LIBRA: This is so unfair!
MR. SPACE: Fine. Lunch detention in my room.
GEMINI: *Frowns.* This is the worse day ever!