Zodiac High

*MRS. CONSTELLATION'S OFFICE*

MRS. CONSTELLATION: *Stares at the 12 Zodiac signs sitting in front of her.* Any progress so far since the last time we met?
*Leo glances at Libra and Libra looks away.*
ARIES: Junior girls gives the best head!
*Sagittarius high-fives Aries.*
*Cancer rolls her eyes.*
SCORPIO: What a pig.
ARIES: I'm just speaking the truth.
CANCER: You're such an asshole.
ARIES: You're the one who wanted to be with me.
CANCER: Because I thought you was prince charming but instead, you're just a fucking clown!
ARIES: The only clown that you still love.
CANCER: You don't know what love is!
ARIES: And there she go, being overemotional.
CANCER: I'M NOT OVEREMOTIONAL!
SCORPIO: The only reason she's like this is because of your whorish ways.
ARIES: And look who's talking.
SCORPIO: I love sex, especially when I'm in a relationship but at least I never cheated.
ARIES: And here we go again, bringing up my past.
GEMINI: At least he didn't take someone significant other away.
SCORPIO: You stole him away from me first.
GEMINI: I had called dibs on him.
*Mrs. Constellation is writing all the drama on her notepad.*
GEMINI: It doesn't matter, because I'm with the love of my life.
*Aquarius cracks a smile on his acne-free face.*
SCORPIO: I thought Sag was the love of your life.
GEMINI: Do you guys hear something?
*Virgo laughs.*
SCORPIO: Why are you laughing Virgo?
VIRGO: Because it's a free country.
SCORPIO: Free country my ass.
VIRGO: You're being stupid.
SCORPIO: How?
VIRGO: You're getting mad over a laugh.
SCORPIO: Because you was laughing to my enemy's so called joke.
MRS. CONSTELLATION: *Looks at Scorpio.* You and Gemini are still enemies?
SCORPIO: 'Til the day we die.
MRS. CONSTELLATION: I thought you guys patch things up at your birthday party.
SCORPIO: Let's not talk about my birthday.
MRS. CONSTELLATION: Did something bad happened?
CAPRICORN: Let's just say, whenever the purge becomes a real thing, Sagittarius is on top of my list.
SAGITTARIUS: I told you I was sorry.
CAPRICORN: You shouldn't had done that in the first place.
LIBRA: Can we talk about something else?
TAURUS: Like your ugly outfit.
LIBRA: You brought this outfit for me.
TAURUS: Whatevs.
LIBRA: I like you better when you're on mute.
*Taurus rolls her eyes.*
CANCER: At least she's loyal to her friend.
LIBRA: What are you talking about? I had always been loyal to you.
CANCER: You talked shit about me when I got with Aries.
LIBRA: First of all, I was venting but I got over it. Maybe you should stop holding onto the past and let it go.
CANCER: Like our friendship.
LIBRA: You're the one who attacked me for being with Sag after Scorpio's birthday party.
CANCER: Because he was wrong and you were wrong for having sex with him on that very night.
LIBRA: Stop worrying what I do and focus on your baby.
SCORPIO: Libra!
LIBRA: What! I'm just speaking the truth.
TAURUS: And the truth is, you still want my boyfriend.
LIBRA: Nobody wants your boyfriend.
TAURUS: Then how come I'm not allowed to be around y'all when you guys are working on your science project?
LIBRA: Because we're trying to get shit done.
LEO: *Looks at girlfriend.* Baby. We're just working on the science project. That's it.
TAURUS: That better be it!
LIBRA: You're a crazy bitch!
CANCER: And you're a bitch!
ARIES: You're a crabby bitch!
MRS. CONSTELLATION: Enough with the bitch word.
AQUARIUS: I just want to say, some of us don't need to be here no more.
GEMINI: Agree!
MRS. CONSTELLATION: When the drama is done, we're done.
PISCES: It's high school, there's always going to be drama.
MRS. CONSTELLATION: And there's ways to avoid it.
LIBRA: I don't love drama but drama loves me.
VIRGO: You're always in drama.
LIBRA: Everyone has drama in their lives.
VIRGO: Not Me.
SCORPIO: Because you're boring.
VIRGO: And you're violent.
SCORPIO: You was threatening Sagittarius at the hospital.
VIRGO: I had overreacted.
SCORPIO: *Mocks Virgo.* I had overreacted.
VIRGO: Really mature.
SCORPIO: *Mocks Virgo again.* Real mature.
*Libra laughs.*
*The bell rings.*
*The Zodiac signs retrieve their belongings as they get up from their chair.*
MRS. CONSTELLATION: I'll see you guys next week!
*Aries fake barfs as Sagittarius, Leo and Pisces giggles.*
CANCER: I can't believe I ever loved him.
TAURUS: At least you don't have to deal with his bullshit no more.
CANCER: So true.