Zodiac High

*Mrs. Constellation's Office*

*The 12 signs gather in Mrs. Constellation's Office, while she is scribbling away on her notepad.*
LIBRA: I can't believe I have to leave gym finals to be here. *Sits down.*
SCORPIO: And we weren't doing shit at all. I was planning on writing my next masterpiece.
VIRGO: I was planning on getting a little study before my next exam.
MRS. CONSTELLATION: *Smiles brightly.* Welcome back and Happy New Year!
CANCER: Happy New Year Mrs. Constellation! Now, can we leave?
MRS. CONSTELLATION: Nope!
VIRGO: So we have to spend two hours with you?
MRS. CONSTELLATION: Once we're done with our session, you guys can study for any of your final exams.
ARIES: So, we can go back to the gymnasium?
MRS. CONSTELLATION: Yeah or you can study here.
PISCES: It's 2020. I feel we don't need these sessions or whatever you want to call them anymore. We have matured over break.
MRS. CONSTELLATION: Cut the crap Pisces.
SCORPIO: Damn.
MRS. CONSTELLATION: Who wants to go first?
CAPRICORN: *Stares across the room at Virgo.* I just want to know why Virgo wasn't women enough to tell me that our relationship is over?
GEMINI: Drama in paradise. Interesting.
TAURUS: Please be quiet. No one doesn't want to hear your voice.
GEMINI: You're not my mom.
TAURUS: If I was your mom, I'll be ashame to call you my daughter.
SAGITTARIUS: Can you two stop it?
TAURUS: So, you're taking her side?
SAGITTARIUS: I'm focus on the Cap and Virgo drama.
ARIES: Same.
VIRGO: There's no drama.
CAPRICORN: Why are you fucking lying?
VIRGO: Lying about what?
CAPRICORN: Us!
VIRGO: There's no us.
CAPRICORN: Why?
VIRGO: Stop playing stupid.
CAPRICORN: Watch who you're calling stupid.
VIRGO: Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
CAPRICORN: Europa sucks dick better than you!
*Leo spits out his red Gatorade drink.*
LIBRA: Are you okay?
*Leo nods his head up and down.*
SCORPIO: I wasn't expecting that.
SAGITTARIUS: Shit is getting real.
AQUARIUS: Cap.
CAPRICORN: She didn't but maybe I'll let her since I'm single now.
VIRGO: I hope she gives you herpes.
MRS. CONSTELLATION: That's enough!
CAPRICORN: At least she's not a coward like you!
VIRGO: I'm not a coward!
CAPRICORN: You couldn't tell me face to face that we're over.
VIRGO: You should had been a gentlemen instead of an asshole.
ARIES: I wish I can record this right now.
CAPRICORN: You got jealous over Europa.
VIRGO: I'll never be jealous of that skank.
TAURUS: *Smirks at Gemini.* Maybe you and Europa should be friends.
*Gemini sticks her middle finger at Taurus.*
VIRGO: Things have been fucking different lately.
CAPRICORN: This is me. You're the one who's trying new things.
VIRGO: It was an one time thing which you keep throwing in my face.
CAPRICORN: To let you know how stupid you are.
VIRGO: You don't have permission to talk to me anymore.
CAPRICORN: It's time to find some new hoes.
VIRGO: I should had dated Neptune. But no, I had chosed you.
LIBRA: I forgot about Neptune.
CANCER: Me too.
SCORPIO: I forgot he transferred to Galactic Prep last year.
ARIES: Neptune was my guy.
SAGITTARIUS: He knew how to party.
PISCES: And one of the best rollers.
GEMINI: And one of the best sex partners I ever had.
TAURUS: Says the hoe that gave him an std.
GEMINI: That was a rumor and you know it.
TAURUS: You still had one.
GEMINI: Once.
SCORPIO: You sure about that?
GEMINI: Mind yo business.
TAURUS: At least she's loyal to her friends.
GEMINI: She betrayed me first!
SCORPIO: Cut the crap.
ARIES: *Whispers to Cancer.* I'm so glad the drama doesn't involve us this week.
CANCER: *Whispers back.* Same.
MRS. CONSTELLATION: Y'all are still beefing?
SCORPIO: Because Gemini ain't shit.
TAURUS: Amen.
*Scorpio and Taurus high-five each other.*
GEMINI: Your opinions are irrelevant.
MRS. CONSTELLATION: *Looks at Taurus and Libra.* Are you two good?
*Taurus and Libra glance at each other and back at the guidance counselor.*
TAURUS: We're cordial.
LIBRA: Yeah.
MRS. CONSTELLATION: Maybe Scorpio and Gemini will be cordial one day.
SCORPIO: Not happening.
GEMINI: Agree.
TAURUS: Gemini doesn't know how to keep friends. She only knows how to backstab them.
GEMINI: What I did to Cancer was fucked up. I'll admit it. But with you, you lied about being pregnant with Leo's kid.
TAURUS: Which is one of the stupidest shit I ever done.
LEO: I can't believe I believed you.
TAURUS: Use protection.
SAGITTARIUS: He probably doesn't. He wants to make sure Libra has his baby. *Looks at Leo.* You better make sure she doesn't abort the kid.
LIBRA: Why are we bringing up my abortion?
SAGITTARIUS: Why not?
LEO: It's not her fault she loves me more than she ever loved you!
SAGITTARIUS: She's going to cheat on you next.
LEO: Keep dreaming loser.
SAGITTARIUS: I thought you were one of my good friends. But you're a fucking snake.
LEO: I thought we were cool, since you invited us to your New Year's Eve bash.
SAGITTARIUS: I invited everyone.
LIBRA: I'm sorry I had cheated on you. I shouldn't had done that. If I could go back in time, I would had broken up with you.
SAGITTARIUS: Fuck your apology.
MRS. CONSTELLATION: Sagittarius!
SAGITTARIUS: They both hurt me. So fuck them.
LEO: I'll admit, I was a shitty friend to you.
SAGITTARIUS: You're still a shitty person, regardless.
LEO: According to you.
TAURUS: You are a shitty person.
LEO: You're the one who had lied about being pregnant to destroy my relationship with Libra.
TAURUS: I wouldn't had cheated on you.
LEO: Love makes you do crazy things.
SAGITTARIUS: What a stupid response.
LIBRA: *Grabs Leo's hands.* Ignore him.
SAGITTARIUS: Slut.
LIBRA: Just like you.
MRS. CONSTELLATION: *Scribbling.* So many sessions to come this semester.
VIRGO: We don't need this.
MRS. CONSTELLATION: Stop lying to yourself Virgo.
AQUARIUS: If we all get along, the sessions are over, right?
MRS. CONSTELLATION: Correct.
AQUARIUS: Okay. Everyone stop their drama, so we can leave these therapy sessions behind us.
LIBRA: I'm gucci. Sagittarius is the one causing shit.
SAGITTARIUS: I'm not the only one.
TAURUS: Get it together Gemini.
GEMINI: What about Virgo and Capricorn dysfunctional relationship?
VIRGO: What relationship?
AQUARIUS: *Murmurs.* Fuck me.